Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Year in Review Meme

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?Hmmm… what did I do new this year? I stayed in a bed and breakfast, that was fun!

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don’t recall making resolutions. I had been telling myself that I was going to give up regular soda for New Years, but I know I won’t stick to it. I’m going to set the bar very low and say I’ll exercise
at least 5 minutes 3-4 times a week. I’ll probably still fail. Whatever.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? A bunch of people I knew in high school did. And the Twin will sometime soon, but probably in ’09, unless she goes into labor to spite me for writing this.

4. Did anyone close to you die?My grandma.

5. What countries did you visit? Here… here… here. Fuck, I need to get out more.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? A shitload more money and a car that doesn’t break down every six fucking weeks.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Arbor Day. No, seriously, I have no idea. There will be things to remember, but not a specific day. Maybe January 20, because that’s when Grandma died.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Hmmm… I managed to take care of myself for another full year, which was nice. I’ve sustained a happy relationship, which is also good.

9. What was your biggest failure? Not keeping my apartment clean and not managing my money better.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?Nothing major. The biggest one was falling down in my apartment and skinning the piss out of my elbow. I’d forgotten how bad that shit hurts!

11. What was the best thing you bought? Tickets to see Flogging Molly with Jon.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Jon’s been awesome, despite his insane amounts of stress, and his mom is a lovely person. The Twin for surviving pregnancy! Obama’s, for being awesome, winning, and coming to Indiana a whole bunch. Oh, and Indiana went blue, so that’s pretty awesome!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Sarah god-damn Palin, Stupid ass California’s Prop 8 bull-shit.

14. Where did most of your money go? Away. I wish I could figure it out better.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? I get excited by stupid-ass things, because I’m essentially a six year-old off the ADD meds. But Liss being pregnant is pretty damned awesome, and Jon ponying up and saying he loved me was also a highlight.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008? I’m Yours, Jason Mraz. He’s bad-ass. And anything by Flogging Molly.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer? Probably happier, in all likelihood fatter, and almost definitely poorer. Oh well.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Cleaning, knitting.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Being completely and pointlessly idle.

20. How did you spend Christmas?At my sister’s, then with my dad, then at Benihana with Jon and his mom.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008? Yep, every day.

22. What was your favorite TV program? Countdown, The Daily Show and the Colbert Report. Also Pushing Daisies. (Stupid ABC) And 30 Rock and The Office. I watch too much TV. And Jon and Kate Plus 8.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? You betcha! I didn't even know about Sarah Palin last year. (Sorry, Queen, your answer is too good to get rid of. And also true!)

24. What was the best book you read? The Poisonwood Bible. I also read a lot of good non-fiction, whose names all escape me now.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? Flogging Molly and Ingrid Michealson.

26. What did you want and get? I got another visit to the Wild Animal Park. I think the is the first time I've returned to a place I had vacationed before.

27. What did you want and not get? A lot of money and for my car not to be dead.

28. What was your favorite film of this year? The Dark Knight was pretty awesome, as was Wall-E

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? It rocked, actually, though I had to check my blog to verify it. I got roses from Jon, and the A&E Pride and Prejudice, which I’ve watched three times through, a giant poster to color (which I’m still working on!) and fun books, and had good meals with people I love. I turned 26.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Having more money. Keeping the apartment clean.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? “Is this clean? Have I worn it to work this week?”

32. What kept you sane? The pets, Jon, cable and Zoloft. Also Julie, my counselor.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Barack Obama. Smart is hot.

34. What political issue stirred you the most? The election in general, and Prop 8.

35. Who did you miss? Mary, my grandma, grandpa and Aunt Ruth.

36. Who was the best new person you met? I think my co-worker Ned. I can’t think of other people I’ve met really.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008. I honestly don’t know. I just try to show up every day and be myself as best I can and hope that works for people. My biggest thing I guess would be to express love whenever possible and not hold onto stuff too much.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. “I been spending way too much time checking my tongue in the mirror/and bending over backwards just to try and see clearer.”

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

No on Prop 8 Video

This is hilarious!

On another note, how does one embed a video, if it's not from Youtube and therefore idiot proof?

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Review: Atonement

What a good movie! I shouldn't be surprised, it got excellent reviews. It's funny, Keira Knightley is a good actress, but I never really appreciate that until I'm watching something she's in. Although I still think she needs a sandwich. But performance-wise, she was really good, and didn't overdue it with weepiness and such. And James McAvoy was really excellent as well, and super hot to boot!

The visuals in the movie are quite lovely, too, from Knightley's beautiful emerald gown to the distopic image of the Ferris Wheel idly spinning on the beach as men bled and ships burned. But what I really liked was the sound motifs. The tapping of the typewriter, the scratching of matches and metallic ring of lighters, used to set a cadence for various scenes. This is one of those times where everything, the visuals and sounds and performances, made the movie come together. I really liked it.

An awfully depressing movie for Thanksgiving morning, but I'm following it up with Little Children, so that ought to perk things up. *snerk*

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Unintended Effect

I am an unapologetic carnivore, and I found this game hilarious.

Sorry PETA! No tofurkey for me!

Happy Thanksgiving, Homies!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Prop 8 Special Comment

I swear, I'm not gonna be all politics all the time, but Olbermann says more here about fighting Prop 8 than I ever could.

It makes me want to make out with him, or a chick, or whatever.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

You've always wanted to know...

Who's on And we want you to know, it's generally women who giggle for no reason incessantly. Or sing opera scales poorly. Men? Whatever. Though people who use this site are more women than men, we thought you should know. Giggling women.

Fucking commercials.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

an entirely apolitical post!

Dear Wal-Mart,

Christmas music in the stores already? Is that really necessary? This is the reason I end up hating Christmas music. Please fucking stop before I convert to Judaism to justify my despisal. (That may not be a real word, but it's how much I hate the utter infiltration of Christmas commerce.)

Bah Humbug, you jerks!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008


What an amazing feeling. I can't wait to see what we can make of this.

Edited to Add: Congratulations and Kudos to Senator McCain for speaking and acting with such grace last night. The other party is never the enemy, and Senator McCain loves America, too.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Commencing with the breath-holding

Come on, results! I need to know! *taps elbow crook for a vein*

I need information!

Monday, November 3, 2008


On this, the eve of a truly historic election, I'd like to put two things out there:

1. I hope that Senator Obama's grandmother rests peacefully, knowing that her grandson has done so much good even before the vote counts are in.

2. Jesus was a liberal community organizer. I'm just saying.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Commercials that make me love my DVR

There are certain commercials that, when I see them, I hit my fast forward button immediately, because if I didn't, I'd break my TV. Here are a few examples:
The Glade commercials. Excuse me, the Glah-Day commercials. I know what! My house smells nice and I've been complemented! But oh, no! I bought my candle/air spray at the grocery store, and I'm afraid my friends will think I'm not a big enough asshole if I didn't pay a lot of money for it so I'll lie, only to be busted by obvious product placement, which we'll all laugh about. So we're all big enough assholes! Shut up, stupid Glade commercial.

Male Enhancement ads. I watch Cheaters sometimes because it makes me laugh. And there's a commercial for wiener-growing pills. And this pretty lady reads her lines vacuously and talks about the "size of a certain part of the male body." Because you can't really love a guy with a small dick.

The Sham-wow commercials, or any commercial involving Billy Mays. Hey, Billy. Switch to decaf, and stop yelling. And Sham-wow guy? I know your soul is dying because you're shilling a shop-towel on basic cable, but you're creeping me out. Also, you look douche-tastic. However, I grudgingly admit that the towels seem kind of nifty.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Good Lord

I babysat five nights this week, including right now. The little girls I watch are twelve, eight and five. They are good, smart and funny kids.
And sweet baby jeebus they're driving me crazy. Actually, the five year-old is fine, and today's the only day I've watched her. Eight, by far, is the one who bugs me the most. She repeats everything. I've actually started limiting the number of times she's allowed to repeat phrases. Also, she whines about everything. Last night she whined about her candy bag being too full! What a crock! And the shrieking and scream laugh. And being so irritated by these things makes me feel like a horrible person, because she's a little girl. But dear god, so irritating.
And Twelve? She's usually my girl, but I must tell you this: I never want to hear about the Twilight books again. She's read two of them this week and it is ALL she talks about to the point where I hate the books, I hate the author, and I may even hate vampires now.
In short? Babysitting makes me cranky and in need of a nap.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Halloween Homies

Check this out. It's a really good web comic, and a really compelling arc on hell houses. This is why I have so much trouble with faith sometimes, because it makes people act in awful ways to each other.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008


In case there was any doubt, I voted for the guy who even listens to little kids like this. Photo op? Maybe, but I've never felt more like a politician might be sincere more.

(Photo respectfully borrowed from here.)

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

liberty and shtuff

I voted yesterday, hurray! I got such a good feeling coloring in that little black dot for President and feeling like I was contributing to the Process. And better yet, the early voting office was busy and full! And you know, I hope to 10000 times that my guy wins, but I also really appreciate that people are participating, and making a decision. I don't necessarily agree with people's reasoning, but thank God we're in a country where they can make their choice and I can make mine! /End corniness.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

to invent:

A yogurt carton that does not spit on me when opening it. Humph!

Friday, October 17, 2008

A little fella getting excited about lobsters

Sweet googly moogly, let my nephew be this damn cute.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

joys of re-reading

Because it's relaxing, I'm re-reading To Kill a Mockingbird. I've decided that when I start a band some day I'm naming it the Absolute Morphodite. Sweet.
(if you don't get it, read the book. So worth it!)

Monday, October 13, 2008

Warmest of Fuzzies

Check out this sweet, sweet video of a soldier being greeted by his dogs coming home from Iraq. I totally cried. Dogs are awesome, and so's this guy.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Betty White calls Sarah Palin a

This is some seriously funny shit, regardless of your politics!

Monday, September 22, 2008

Funny to me? Or funny?

If I made a "Masochists for McCain" t-shirt, would that be amusing? I was thinking about putting under it "Because we love the pain!"

Maybe it's one of those things that's more funny in my head.

Oh! And look what I got myself at Irish Fest!

It's pretty, no? :)

Saturday, September 20, 2008

i can has best boyfriend!

So I'm sleeping over at Jon's tonight, like I do every weekend, and I wake up with the worst headache, and decide it must be the pillows or something, because this is the second time that's happened. So Jon's in the living room with the dogs, (we don't usually sleep together, because the dogs would lick me all night and keep me awake. And when he sleeps he's a messed up kid's book: The Little Furnace that Snored. Oh, and I'm a cover hog that usually ends up with as much blanket bunched by my face as I have twined around me.) and he's obviously fallen asleep while using his computer, and his head keeps lolling gently. Well, as I gently wake him, I can see what he's been doing online. Porn? No. Homework? Nope! News? Huh-uh. Icanhascheezburger? That's the ticket! And now I shall take my sleepy headache and be unconscious.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Stupid Jokes

Jon was on a dumb joke-telling kick this weekend. Here are my favorites:

  • What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? (Highlight the white text just after the parenthases.) Dr. Dre.
  • Two cows are standing in a field and looking up at the sky, and one cow says, "Man, this mad cow disease sounds pretty serious." The second cow says, "Yeah, but it's cool. I'm a helicopter!"
  • What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

I'm apparently a big fan of the jokes for the four year-old crowd. Heh.

Friday, September 12, 2008

An Open Invitation to Craig Ferguson

Hi Craig! Would you like to have sex with me? That'd be awesome.
Seriously, this video is awesome. The election is less than two months away!

Thursday, September 11, 2008


It's a boy! Tyler Nicholas is due around January 22! I'm going to have a nephew!!!


Nothing I could say about today could be said as eloquently as it is here. My heart is in New York today!

Baby update after 3:30, which is the time of my sis's doc appointment!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Awwww x1,000

This video is super cute. I'm kind of in love with both of them!

Coming up tomorrow: Gender of niecephew announced!!!! Yes, I'm the only one who really cares, but still. It's my very first niecephew.


Tuesday, September 9, 2008

After this, I'll shut up about politics for a while

Ok, just in case there's anyone who looks at or reads my blog who's not going to vote, or is thinking about voting, or whatever, I'm just going to spell out why I'm voting the way I am in November. You can figure out for yourself who I'm voting for by my priorities. If your priorities are similar, maybe you could kick a couple bucks to the campaign. This election is extremely important and I don't really want my heart broken again!

So. Things that are important to me:
  1. Equality for all people who are in love. Neither candidate is where I would like them to be on this, but one candidate gets a lot closer to where we should be going than the other. Any two persons, regardless of gender, should be allowed to get married and have the legal rights of spouses.
  2. Choice. I hope to god I am never in the position where I would need to decide whether or not to have an abortion, but I don't feel comfortable making that decision for anyone else, and I don't think the government should either.
  3. The war. Like it or not, we're in it now, and we need to get out in the cleanest and most fair way possible. However, transparency must be the name of the game in future administrations, and agendas should be made based on the good of the country, not on the good of the few. And Americans should never be asked to give their lives based on lies.

There are lots of other reasons I'll vote the way I will, but those are the big ones, and things I really, really care about. Seriously, if you haven't, please do some research on the candidates and make decisions based on facts and not fear. We've had enough fear-mongering masquerading as politics, and I'm sick of it. I hope you are, too.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Interesting Observation

This was my friend Scott's status message on Facebook this weekend:

"It seems to me Jesus was a community organizer and Pontious Pilate was a governor."


I don't care if you're religious or not, that's funny. Not that Obama is Jesus, by any stretch, but seriously Palin, back off.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Calling Bullshit

Total Population of Alaska: 670,053.

Total Population of Chicago: 2,833,321.

Hey Governor Palin: I bet it's harder to organize community projects in a city of almost 3 million than it is to govern an entire state that's less than a quarter of a million. So please don't wag that around as your proof of experience. It makes you look silly.

Just an FYI.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008


Listen, it's not that I think the whole country should get their panties in a big wad because Governor and VP-nominee Sarah Pailin's daughter is pregnant. They shouldn't. But what I am finding very hard to stomach is the Republican party thinking that it has the right to call the subject entirely off-limits. If Governor Pailin was a Democrat, and was Obama's nominee, you bet your sweet-ass that at the very least Faux News would be having talking-heads blabbering on about family fucking values. Let's call a spade a spade here: according to Republicans, if a liberal family's kid gets knocked up, it's because there are no family values being taught and the parents aren't participating and kids are pretty much handed a condom at puberty's onset and left to their own devices. But if a conservative family's kid turns up pregnant, we're supposed to admire how courageous the mother is to be public with it and how awesome for family values that the daughter is going to keep the child and marry the father when they're both clearly not even responsible enough to practically work a rubber? Why is that okay? I applaud Obama and the Democrats for not taking the easy punches here, but I really do have to wonder why people aren't making mention of the fact that if the shoe were on the other foot, Republicans would be roasting that kid and her fetus on a spit.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Teh Happier!

Sara realized, as I think that I would, that a house without a dog is empty. And so she got a new dog from the Humane Society! Meet Franny:

Franny's a sweet pea who got abandoned in the Humane Society dog run, so she's a bit shy still, but she's a doll. She licked Sara's feet while I met her this morning, and then very gently nommed her big toe. I like to think Buddah brought Sara Franny. Also, please note the slightly flopping ear, which is too cute for words.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Teh Sad

My friend Sara had to put her dog Buddah to sleep this morning. He was going into heart failure, and couldn't breathe much anymore. His picture's right below. Ain't he a little cutie pie?
There are very few things I find sadder than losing pets. I know losing people is awful, too, but there's something indescribably different about being the one who decides that it's time to give someone you love something that will put them out of pain and put you in a tremendous amount of pain. It's a pretty awesome responsibility.
I told Sara that I believe God gave us pets so that He could show us how much He loves us. I hope that's true. I used to be so sure about there being a God, but these days I just don't know. But I hope there is one, and I hope I'm right, and I hope Buddah's chilling and getting treats in a big park in the sky.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

open letter to english speakers

Dear English speaker,

Please take note: the word "important" has TWO t's. It is pronounced "imporTanT." it is not "impor-ant" or even "impor-an'". I implore you: please say the damn word correctly. It is not hard to to say. The ts do not necessarily have to be hard, but please, do not say the word with a long "an" at the end. It's super irritating.

This letter brought to you by a morning viewing of Project Runway.


Tuesday, July 15, 2008


Today may be the most disgusting day in the history of the universe.
  1. This morning, my coworker, Holly, talked about a time she got a sunburn and went to the gym two days later and exercised so hard she had sweat bubbles UNDER HER SKIN.
  2. Then someone threw up in the trashcans outside of our office.
  3. Finally, our environmentally conscious study abroad coordinator was eating her organic local broccolli today and found THREE grubs/larval creatures in it. One LOOKED LIKE BROCCOLI.

I need to go home.

Monday, June 23, 2008

a cheer

Rat shit, bat shit, dirty old twat!
69 linemen tied in a knot!
Hurray, lizard shit, FUCK!

Hey, George, here's hoping God recites the seven words with you. Happy trails, and may Buddy Christ greet you at the gates.

Also, universe? Maybe enough with the taking of awesome people who should have had more time. Between Ledger, Carlin and Russert, you should be occupied for a while.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

holy shitballs

Pardon my French.

Here is the transcript for a commercial I happened to stumble on while fastforwarding through a DVRd episode of Intervention.

Picture two ships: the Santa Maria fading into a cruise ship, after a black screen that says "We've conquered the seas." Next: "We've conquered the skies" followed by a Wright brother's plain and a standard passenger plane. "We've conquered the heavens," followed by a shuttle launch and a space walk. Finally, "But how can we conquer our own self doubts?" Shown: a busy street. "Find out." Super cheesy volcano explosion CG that looks like it had a public access channel budget. ""

I just... i think I need an intervention now.

Hip Hip Huzzah!

I heard a story on my way back from lunch on NPR about the first gay and lesbian couples getting married in California, prompting me to draft the following short notes:

Dear Gay and Lesbian Couples,

Mazel Tov! Many happy returns of today's joy.


Dear California,

Right on. Keep 'em coming!


Dear Damn Near Rest of the U.S.,

Seriously, get with it. It's 2008. All people deserve equal rights

No Love,

Wednesday, June 11, 2008


So, I know I'm pretty much the worst Catholic ever, but old habits die hard, and because I don't think any amount of prayer or good vibes can hurt, I'm putting the following prayer out to the universe, and if you want to add it to your list if you see this, I would most definitely appreciate it. Here goes nothing!

Dear God, Blessed Mother, St. Gerard and St. Anne, the Universe,
Please care for my twin sister during her pregnancy. Please take care of the little baby she's having and let everything go smoothly. Please let my sister be healthy and bring a healthy baby into the world. Amen!

Saturday, June 7, 2008

feelin' hot, hot, hot

It is currently 80 degrees in my apartment. My window air conditioner is not working. In an attempt to thwart this problem and not have to go spend the night away from my pets, I have come up with the following ghetto ways to stay cool:

I bought four packs of sliced watermelons and a bag of grapes at the grocery store. Nature's air conditioner!

I basically chugged 44 ounces of Icee. Gas station's air conditioner!

I bought a bag of ice, which I keep emptying portions of into a bowl and placing in front of my fan. Ghetto air conditioner!

I'm watching Knocked Up, which is hilarious.

Lemonade out of lemons I guess. Other apartments in my complex are flooded, so I guess I can't complain. Oh wait, it's 80 degrees in my apartment! I still can.

Friday, May 23, 2008


Or: Why Abstinence-Only Sex Education is STUPID.

I heard a story on NPR recently about sex-ed and heard yet another person spouting off that teaching abstinence-only sex ed is the best and safest way to teach kids about sex and sexuality, and to keep them from engaging in risky behaviors. This is a bunch of horseshit. Let me explain via metaphor:

Let's say you take a 15 year old boy, otherwise known as a human vacuum, to a buffet, one with all sorts of awesome food all over the place and so many options the kid's eyes just kind of glow with excitement. Then you tell the kid, "So all of this looks awesome, but you should really just eat from the salad bar. It's definitely the healthiest for you, and all that other stuff, the fried chicken, the mashed potatoes, the steak, the soup, the sushi, all that stuff you'd really like to try, should really be saved for a special occasion." And the kid asks "So I can't eat any of this other stuff?" And you say, "Well, obviously, you can, it's there. But you shouldn't eat it. You should just have some salad."

So the kid rolls his eyes at you and comes back with ribs sandwiched between pizza topped with a brownie. And you say "But I told you you should just have the salad!" And the kid says "Yeah, but there was all this other stuff that looked really good." And you say "But it can kill you!" And the kid says, "Oh, please. I'm not going to have a heart attack or a stroke or anything like that. That crap's not a problem for me." And you say, "But you can have that stuff if you're smart about it! If you eat that stuff and salad and bread and fruit, you just need to use your head about it!" And the kid says, "So it's not about just eating salad forever, or only eating rib-pizza, it's about using good judgment?" And you say, "Yes!" And the kid says, "So why didn't you just say that?"

That's why abstinence-only sex ed is stupid.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Dear Emmy Academy

If Robert Sean Leonard does not win an Emmy for the season finale of House, I will find out where you live and smack you in the face with rotten fish. Not since The West Wing's Noel and Bartlet for America has one episode so clearly earned it for an actor than this. I am going to need therapy after this episode, seriously. And give one to Hugh Laurie for good measure, he's always phenomenal. (So is RSL, but this episode was the aria of awesomeness.)

Just an FYI, academy.

PS--Bye Amber! you may have been a CTB, but you were also awesome, and way more interesting that 13.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

That's How You Know What a Giant DORK I am

Ok, so Enchanted is basically my favorite movie in the world right now. I'm 26 years old and every time I see this at the two minute mark? I get shivers and almost cry.

*sigh* Do girls ever stop wanting that? I hope not. I'm gonna have to convince Jon to do this for me sometime.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Two Awesome Things

... and it's not even 10 am yet!

  1. Things that are younger than John McCain.
  2. The previously unknown lyrics to the Indiana Jones theme.

There is nothing that I will be able to do today that will be as awesome as these two things.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

This is an echidna. It’s one of only two animals that only have one hole for… waste removal and reproduction. Eww. But isn’t it cute?!

The other?

The duck-billed platypus, nature’s cutest WTF.

Just FYI.

Monday, May 5, 2008

actual content!

I love being able to blog from my phone.
Presenting: a girl-ish review of Iron Man!
First and foremost, Robert Downey Jr. Is super pretty. I want more movies that give me a good excuse to enjoy tha. He plays a cad adorably well, probably based on copious experience, but I still see a wee bit of the boyishness from Chances Are, a movie I still love. In any case, Jon had a giant geek-on for the movie, and I had the eye candy, so that started out nicely.
The snappy dialogue RDJ gets to spout off, with the rest of the cast, is another big selling point for me. I like stuff that's fun to listen to, and this was that in abundance. Also, Tony Stark, RDJ's character, has lots of fun robots with personalities, which I fins adorable. Yes, I'm a giant loser-girl, but that part was fun for me.
Gwyneth Paltrow was a perfectly pleasing Pepper Potts. I always forget how much I like her in stuff because the 'razzi spends so much time calling her a bitch. Bitch or no, she's great on-screen, and it's fun to see the little wink she brings to the deferential personal assistant.
Terrence Howard was also great. It's just unfortunate that I look at him right now and think, "Oh! It's poor man's Cuba!" I'll get over that, and it wasn't his fault, I just think they look alike and I've seen less stuff with TH.
And Jeff Bridges. Lovely Jeff Bridges, playing the anti-Dude, Obadiah. He looks good bald, and the full beard works, too. He looks a wee bit like Jon like that, which is fun for me. Also, Bridges gets points for awesome villain line delivery with "Hold still, you little prick!" A good villain really makes or breaks these movies, and Bridges was more than equal to the task.
So! Overall? Shiny, blow-upy, snarky good time! It earns me good girlfriend points and lets me ogle pretty man for two hours! I have to go with my friend Becca's review: Iron Man is win!

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

birthday addendum

The day continues to rock! I had pineapple bread pudding for dessert, and my shmoopie gave me the A&E Pride and Prejudice as my first (!) birthday present, with the rest to come on Friday. If today got any better, I'd swear it wasn't real! (Easy to impress? Maybe a little.)

Birthday Comparisons

Last year on my birthday I:
  • rear-ended someone on my way to work
  • had to deal with my parents splitting up
  • felt like the day was barely acknowledged and felt kinda bad for myself.

This year for my birthday I:

  • Went to Starbucks and had coffee with my bosses who rock, and who gave me fun books, a giant poster to color, and markers to color it with
  • had lunch with more coworkers and had Snickers ice cream
  • got a dozen loooooong stemmed roses from Jon.

This year has sucked a lot less!

Real blog with opinions and stuff soon!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

The Pope Was Mean To Me

Or: my subconscious is on crack. Had a very vivid night of dreaming last night. Please do not confuse vivid for "making sense in any way." Here's the lowdown.

First, I was with a group of people who were going to have a private audience with the Pope. So we all file into the room and are sitting ont the floor, and the Pope's all "What should we talk about?" Someone mentions Islam, and how knowledge is a good thing. The Pope says something about how violent Islam is. I comment, "Excuse me, your Holiness, but Islam has far from cornered the market on atrocities." So then the pope gets up and dumps an ornate vial of ashes in my hands, which I just know are the remains of a Holocaust victim. Not cool, pope you creeped me out! The dream kinda fades from there.

Then I dream I steal a bus to go to my grandma and grandpa's house. Which is three miles from where I live, but whatever. Once there, I talk to my grandma, who is wearing a dark suit. I sit on the floor in front of her, hugging her legs. I ask her how grandpa is and she smiles and looks really happy. I ask about Aunt Ruth, and I think she rolled her eyes but also acknowledged she was fine. But I remember at that point knowing she was slipping away again, and that was sad. and I spent the rest of the dream trying to decide if I'd get away with the bus thing or if I should just turn myself in, since who's going to be mad that I used the bus to go see my dead grandma?

No more peyote before bed. Or something.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

I am losing it

I was just signing some documents on my desk at work, and started looking for the pen I had just used. I couldn’t find it, so no big deal, I just grabbed another. I realized where the pen was a minute later.

Between my teeth. I need a nap.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Movie Meme: Why not?

1. Pick 10 of your favorite movies.2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.3. Post them here for everyone to guess.4. Fill in the film title once it's guessed.*5. NO GOOGLING/using IMDb search functions.
1. The bad stuff is easier to believe. You ever notice that?
2. Well, technically speaking, the operation is brain damage, but it's on a par with a night of heavy drinking. Nothing you'll miss.
3. I know. She's heading an expedition to China shortly. I'm to go as her servant. But only on the understanding that I am to be very badly treated.
4. Person 1: If I was a guy, I think women would like, line up to go out with me. I'm smart. I have a good sense of humor. I make a great living.Person 2: I'd fuck you. Person 1: Thank you, honey. I know you would.
5. But the point being, our child learned two very important lessons. One, about life and death. The other, some things, once you do, they can't be undone. I knew just how she felt.
6. Also, I sleep in the nude. Au buffo. Winter and summer rain or snow with the window open and because I may have to go to the potty or to the fridge in the middle of the night and because I don't want to put on jammies which I do not own in the first place... unless you're looking for a quick thrill or your daughter an advanced education I would keep my door closed.
7. I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up DOES rejoice. Still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend.
8. My friends. You bow to no-one.
9. Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
10. Person 1: You don't mean to tell me that you're living in poverty? Person 2: No. But I'm broke.
11. Pull-yourself-together! "What will you do?" Is this a question? You will show him that you remember that he is [character name], and you will remind him who *you* are. Well, you know where he is. Go, confront the problem. Fight! Win! And call me when you get back, darling. I enjoy our visits.
12. I just want you to feel you're doing well. I hate for people to die embarrassed.
13. The chinaman is not the issue here, Dude. I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude. Across this line, you DO NOT... Also, Dude, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please.
14. Now I'm stuck with Mr. Happy here, sleeping on a fucking sofa. Look, I know you are a homo and all, but maybe you can appreciate this. You go to one of those places, there's four women for every guy. Can you imagine what that's like?
15. It's the same things your whole life. "Clean up your room.", "Stand up straight.", "Pick up your feet.", "Take it like a man.", "Be nice to your sister.", "Don't mix beer and wine, ever.". Oh yeah, "Don't drive on the railroad track."
16. Oh. Where you going?... Oh, you men are all alike. Seven or eight quick ones and then you're out with the boys to boast and brag. YOU BETTER KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. Oh... I think I love him.
17. What have I done? My brains... are going into my feet.
18. Janice Van Meter got hit with a baseball. It was fabulous.
19. We take Pete's car, we drive over to mum's, we go in, take care of Phillip - "I'm so sorry Phillip". - then we grab mum, we go over to Liz's place, hole up, have a cup of tea and wait for this whole thing to blow over.
20. You have no power over me.

Friday, March 7, 2008


Or: "The Saga of My Car Trying to Make Me Lose My Goddamn Mind." (And, apparently, sapping my desire to blog.)

Ok, so I mentioned last time that my car was having transmission issues, right? Which sucked ass. So I found out eventually that getting the transmission rebuilt would be the cheapest option, at the bargain price of $1300. Bah. So through a divine intervention (read: startlingly large loan from someone who was very kind, and who had no reason to help me, thank you, good Karma I've managed to amass!) I was able to get that done. The car place that rebuilt the transmission does very good work, but they're also quite slow. So it took ten days from the time they got my car to have it ready for me, which was already two and a half weeks after it already died. Bumming rides is actually terribly degrading after a while, or at least very frustrating.

So, last Thursday, they finally called and said it was all done and I could come get my car, and so I did, with much triumph. And Friday, I triumphantly drove my car into work, where it triumphantly began spewing white smoke and the temperature guage shot up to high. My direct quote? "Oh, you mother fucker." (Pardon my French.) An hour and a half later, I drove my "cooled off" car down to the car place, where it proceeded to overheat again, and then froze up and would not start. BLEH. The nice car guys picked me up and drove me home, where they told me that my radiator had a hole in it, that likely was started back when I rear-ended that dude on the shitty birthday of doom. So much for having my car for that weekend.

But Monday evening, they called again. You're all set, come get your car, that'll be a hundred bucks. Tuesday morning? Car wouldn't start. Lovely car place? Jumped it, and after letting it charge/warm up for a few minutes, I drove myself to school, where the battery proceeded to die again. I called my dad, cussing a blue streak, and ready to Thelma and Louise my freaking car off the nearest available cliff, and was informed that it would most likely be an alternator. GAH. So at that point, I had the car towed to the other garage I use. The good news? The car was fixed in six hours. The bad news? $300.

Mind you, I paid $3000 for the car, which I do love. But if anything else breaks on it? I'm giving that bitch the Mythbusters treatment.

And the icing on the crap cake? I've been driving with a suspended license (I know, I suck) for an unpaid (so they say) ticket for... well, way too long. So no license, expired plates, every time I saw a cop car, I'd basically say a Hail Mary and hope for the best. This morning, a mile and a half from school? Pulled over by a cop. I was practically crying before he could even get to the car. But the cop was actually really nice, gave me the cheapest ticket he was allowed to do, just for the expired plates, and totally gave me the giant kick in the ass to get to the BMV and get stuff straightened out. So at the other end of the story, I emerge triumphant, with a running car with valid plates and a valid license, and all's well that ends well. Expensively, but well.

But I'm going to a b&b tomorrow with Jon, so that makes up for most of it. Well, if not, I'll at least forget it for a few hours!

Monday, February 4, 2008

The most heartfelt thing posted in this blog yet:

Dear Tom Brady:


Suck it long, and suck it hard. Hubris just made you her bitch.

But 18-1 is still good.


Dear Eli,

You are not as awesome as your brother, but congrats anyway, and you're still pretty awesome.

Enjoy the ring!


Monday, January 28, 2008

My best idea ever

Okay, you know those irritating, awful Kidz Bop CDs? And how they're full of chirping little cherubs singing songs that are grossly inappropriate for little kid voices to be singing? Seriously, here's an example of stuff just from their latest CD:
  • "What Goes Around"--Justin Timberlake (You cheated on me, so suck it. Awesome for little ones!)
  • "Never Again"--Kelly Clarkson (See above comment.)
  • "Makes Me Wonder"--Maroon 5 (We have fabulous sex, but I think our relationship might be bad. Sorry, Elmo.) (PS--"It really makes me wonder if I ever gave a thought about you." Well played Kidz Bop. Well Played.)
  • "How to Save a Life"--The Fray (Great, because that song's not overplayed enough.)

Okay, so if they're going to make these ridiculous CDs, don't you think the least they could do is put out an incredibly inappropriate CD? I do. Here are some of my suggestions:

  • "Closer"--Nine Inch Nails
  • "Crazy Bitch"--Buck Cherry
  • "Me and a Gun"--Tori Amos
  • "We Didn't Start the Fire" or "End of the World as We Know It"--Billy Joel or REM. (Would it not be awesome hearing those kids trying to chuck those lyrics out?)
  • "Manifest Destiny"--Guster
  • Anything by Jefferson Airplane

I had more, but of course I can't remember them now. Any suggestions from the peanut gallery?

Friday, January 25, 2008


I would so rather be writing a frivolous, fun post, but three circumstances currently prevent me from doing so:
  1. My grandma died fairly suddenly on Sunday. She was my last grandparent, and it's definitely sad. I'm glad she went the way she did, though. Heart failure was mercifully quick and pretty painless. I'm hoping my grandpa had something to do with that.
  2. My frickin' car is super sick. Libby needs a new transmission, meanwhile, I need a stack of cash to afford it.
  3. Heath Ledger died this week, too! So sad! I just watched 10 Things I Hate About You this weekend. What a waste.

Bad things come in threes, right? So I'm done with the bad crap.But next week, I will be funny again, oh yes, I will.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Month Meme

I'm going to write real things soon, maybe even today, I swear! You're supposed to bold the traits that are like you, and The Queen italicized the things that were not true at all, which I shall also do. Here goes nothing.

APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive* and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself.** Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic.*** Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Brave and fearless.*** Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave***** and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory.****** Moving. Motivates oneself and others.******* Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.********

*Decisive? Apparently you have never been around Jon and I picking where to go for dinner.
**Maybe after a few more years in therapy.
***One of my co-workers came back today after being out sick today. I asked how she was feeling, and she said better, and I actually said "I don't mean this in a negative way, but you don't look better." In my defense, she didn't; she looked exhausted and pale. Still. Not so much with the diplomacy.
****HAH! HAH!
*****Nothing needs to be in my path for me to trip. Ever.
******This thing has never been to my apartment, obviously.
******It's funny, because a lot of things I can remember extremely well, but I couldn't find my shoes this morning.
********Well, not only him, but I think it's kind of something you get to know about me.