Monday, January 28, 2008

My best idea ever

Okay, you know those irritating, awful Kidz Bop CDs? And how they're full of chirping little cherubs singing songs that are grossly inappropriate for little kid voices to be singing? Seriously, here's an example of stuff just from their latest CD:
  • "What Goes Around"--Justin Timberlake (You cheated on me, so suck it. Awesome for little ones!)
  • "Never Again"--Kelly Clarkson (See above comment.)
  • "Makes Me Wonder"--Maroon 5 (We have fabulous sex, but I think our relationship might be bad. Sorry, Elmo.) (PS--"It really makes me wonder if I ever gave a thought about you." Well played Kidz Bop. Well Played.)
  • "How to Save a Life"--The Fray (Great, because that song's not overplayed enough.)

Okay, so if they're going to make these ridiculous CDs, don't you think the least they could do is put out an incredibly inappropriate CD? I do. Here are some of my suggestions:

  • "Closer"--Nine Inch Nails
  • "Crazy Bitch"--Buck Cherry
  • "Me and a Gun"--Tori Amos
  • "We Didn't Start the Fire" or "End of the World as We Know It"--Billy Joel or REM. (Would it not be awesome hearing those kids trying to chuck those lyrics out?)
  • "Manifest Destiny"--Guster
  • Anything by Jefferson Airplane

I had more, but of course I can't remember them now. Any suggestions from the peanut gallery?

Friday, January 25, 2008


I would so rather be writing a frivolous, fun post, but three circumstances currently prevent me from doing so:
  1. My grandma died fairly suddenly on Sunday. She was my last grandparent, and it's definitely sad. I'm glad she went the way she did, though. Heart failure was mercifully quick and pretty painless. I'm hoping my grandpa had something to do with that.
  2. My frickin' car is super sick. Libby needs a new transmission, meanwhile, I need a stack of cash to afford it.
  3. Heath Ledger died this week, too! So sad! I just watched 10 Things I Hate About You this weekend. What a waste.

Bad things come in threes, right? So I'm done with the bad crap.But next week, I will be funny again, oh yes, I will.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Month Meme

I'm going to write real things soon, maybe even today, I swear! You're supposed to bold the traits that are like you, and The Queen italicized the things that were not true at all, which I shall also do. Here goes nothing.

APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive* and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself.** Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic.*** Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Brave and fearless.*** Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave***** and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory.****** Moving. Motivates oneself and others.******* Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.********

*Decisive? Apparently you have never been around Jon and I picking where to go for dinner.
**Maybe after a few more years in therapy.
***One of my co-workers came back today after being out sick today. I asked how she was feeling, and she said better, and I actually said "I don't mean this in a negative way, but you don't look better." In my defense, she didn't; she looked exhausted and pale. Still. Not so much with the diplomacy.
****HAH! HAH!
*****Nothing needs to be in my path for me to trip. Ever.
******This thing has never been to my apartment, obviously.
******It's funny, because a lot of things I can remember extremely well, but I couldn't find my shoes this morning.
********Well, not only him, but I think it's kind of something you get to know about me.