Monday, November 26, 2007

On a more pleasant note

I just got Jon several magnets from Cafe Press that are sure to crack him up. I got him 4. Do I give them to him all at once, or mete them out over time? Hmmmmm.
Sometimes the universe seems genuinely screwed up. My friend and co-worker had a friend die last weekend. He was 24, and it was three days before his body was found. That just sucks.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Turkey Crash

My fabulous boyfriend is off getting me lunch, so here's a quick wrap-up:

  • Thanksgiving was really, really nice and drama-free, believe it or not.
  • My sis, bro-in-law and I went over to my dad's last night to play games and eat pizza. It was totally nice.
  • I'm working on another scarf, and it's kind of too wide, but it looks really good so far. A really wide scarf isn't a problem, is it Catherine? I've got the knit stitch down, I managed to cast on for this one by myself... is it time to learn to purl? Holy crap! Is it possible I'm getting the hang of this?!
  • My apartment is a mess. I gave the pets chores before I left yesterday, but I bet their freeloading asses don't do anything.
  • I've got a post to make up for yesterday if that's not cheating.
  • America's Next Top Model makes me happy. And guilty. It's awesome.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm at my sister's, watching The West Wing, smelling turkey and I've been knitting half the day. It's a nice Thanksgiving. Hope you're having a nice one, too!

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Thanksgiving Survey

My laziness knows no bounds. Hell with it.

How intensely do you celebrate Thanksgiving, on a 1-10 scale?
If we're basing it on an eating scale, 11. If we're basing it on how psyched I get? 6-7

1. What is your favorite part of Thanksgiving?
Eating myself stupid. Yum.

2. Do you eat Turkey? What foods are on your table every year?
I love turkey. There must be mashed potatoes and sweet pickle midgies or it's not Thanksgiving along with the turkey. And pumpkin pie, obviously.

3. What are your Thanksgiving traditions, is there something you do every year?
Eat self into stupor. That's about it. Harass my brother-in-law for putting ketchup on his turkey.

4. Do you watch the Macy's Day Parade?
Meh, bits and pieces, but not really.

5. What are you thankful for?
My family and friends, my pets, Jon, my health, etc.

6. Do you go shopping on Black Friday -the next day?
I might if the sales were super good, but I hate crowds of people. So probably not.

7. Do you celebrate Buy Nothing Day?
If that's the opposite of Black Friday, sure.

8. Do you watch football at home?
Not really, but the Colts are playing tomorrow night, so Adam might put it on if I'm still there.

9. Do you have a favorite Thanksgiving Memory?
No, not really, but it was nice to go to my grandparents and see my cousins and stuff when we were growing up and everyone was still here.

10. It's not Thanksgiving without...
Turkey! Might as well scrap the holiday.

11. What will be different about this Thanksgiving?
It's the first year since my parents split up, so that'll be weird, but we'll work it out.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

More haiku

Oh work, you're neglected.
Sorry! I had to go to
traffic court today.

Which sucked, by the way!
My soul, my wallet, all 'round.
Bureaucracy blows.

Shaun of the Dead Night
with my friend Jen tonight
(Halloween make-up.)

Monday, November 19, 2007


So I was watching a documentary on the History Channel last night on the Ku Klux Klan. It was so irritating, seeing these people in their vileness. But even more interesting is that they say they're lighting these crosses on fire to show the light of Christ and not about how much they hate Jews, blacks, etc. So I'm wondering a few things now. Are they aware that Jesus was

  1. not white
  2. Jewish
  3. and pretty damn inclusive?

I mean seriously, what the hell?


I handwrote this yesterday because I didn't get to a computer. Real blog later today.

I'm sleepy.
This weekend has been too short.
So this will make do.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

I helped my dad move today and now I'm on a date. This is all you get. BYE!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Marc-y Marc Fish-berg

So Marc has requested a blog since I forgot to mention that he is my funniest friend. Marc is one of my funniest friends, though I'm lucky enough to be able to say that most of my friends are hilarious. But here are some of Marc's greatest hits!
  • Marc used to do baby voices for the group we hung out in based on our personalities. So Baby Marc was playing a tiny guitar and being all "You goy suck! I get 8 days of presents, and my parents know my affection has to be purchased!"
  • Marc once re-wrote they lyrics to Wonderwall about an acquaintance of ours with really sad, saggy boobs, called "Wonder-bra." It was even more funny than it sounds like it would be.
  • Marc has a great sense of humor about himself, which is a must in order to actually be funny. He makes fun of his cheapness, he has dozens of pictures of himself and his girlfriend where he's literally holding his wallet open to her, looking shocked. And he's got the cojones to do stand-up, which is more than most of us are gutsy enough to do!

All this and the poor guy didn't even have cable growing up!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Survey Cop-Out

I'm having a shitty day, and rather than write about, or think about, it, here's a survey. Pardon me for so many NoBloMo copouts.

1. What's your name: Angela Nicole (Redacted)
2. How tall are you: 5'8"
3. What color are your eyes: Green or blue, depending on clothing.
4. What color is your hair: Dark blonde.
5. Are you Male or Female: Female.
6. What is your best feature (physically): I have pretty eyes and great cheekbones.
7. What's your shoe size: 8-9
8. Glasses, yes or no: Yes
9. Did you ever have braces: No, but as a kid, I wanted them hardcore.
10. On a typical day you are wearing: Clothing, generally clean.
11. When you go to bed you're wearing: A tank top and underwear, if anything.
12. work out/exercise about how often: In a blue friggin' moon.

1. Name five of your favorite bands: Barenaked Ladies, Guster, Nickel Creek, They Might Be Giants, Rascal Flatts
2. Name five of your favorite singers: Tori Amos, Kelly Clarkson, Anna Nalick, Billy Joel, Elton John
3. Name three songs you are currently playing nonstop: "When You Come Back Down," Nickel Creek, "As If," Sara Evans, " "Ever the Same" Rob Thomas
4. Name one song (give lyrics) that best describes your life right now: Is there a song about having a shitty day and wanting to jump out the window? No? Plead the fifth at the moment, but generally we'll go "Doubting Thomas" by Nickel Creek.
5. Name one song (give lyrics) that best describes your life one year ago: "Winner at a Losing Game" Rascal Flatts.
6. When you're driving, what are the preset stations on your radio: 92.3, 99.5, 97.1, 90.1, 105.7, 95.5
7. What's the last CD you bought: Colbie Callait
8. Was the last CD you burned an actual CD or a mix: Mix, I'm sure, but it's been forever.
9. Name one song/band/singer you're embarrassed to like but do: Journey.
10. If you could only attend one concert ever again, it would be: Barenaked Ladies
11. Name one band/singer you absoulutely can't stand: Hoobastank.
12. Name a group you used to like but feel you've grown out of: NKOTB. Hee.

1. Name your favorite actor: George Clooney *Drool*
2. Name your favorite actress: Alison Janney.
3. Name your favorite television show right now: Pushing Daisies
4. Name five really cool movies you've recently seen: I'm ignoring recently, I haven't been to the movies in forever. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Knocked Up, Pan's Labrynth, Shaun of the Dead, and The Wedding Singer. These are mostly what came to mind more than anything else.
5. Your favorite canceled television show: Arrested Development! I didn't see it when it was on, but now I'm more than hooked. Come back, show!
6. Name one movie you wish you hadn't wasted time/money on recently: Autumn in New York. It wasn't recently, but I was angry and wanted my money back.
7. You would never watch a movie with: Britney Spears starring.
8. Favorite candy/food to watch movies with: Popcorn or Sour Patch Kids
9. Three favorite tv channels: Discovery, History, MTV/Vh1, whoever's running ANTM marathons.
10. Favorite reality show: Project Runway
11. Favorite character on a reality show: Jay McCarroll and Laura Bennett

1. coffee: sweet
2. dog: Shadow
3. slut: bag
4. candy: corn
5. pole: vault
6. ocean: salt
7. brave: one
8. loving: care
9. cookie: snickerdoodle
10. death: rebirth
11. life: force
12. child: niece/nephew

CIRCLE FIVE: WHICH WOULD YOU PREFER:(bold the one you prefer)
1. Ten guilty men go free OR One innocent man goes to jail for life (Both suck, but I believe in Karma.)
2. Eaten by a lion OR Eaten by thousands of small insects (At least the first is fast!)
3. A life of contentment without love OR A life with love and heartache (One's not living, simple as that.)
4. Skydiving from a plane OR Bungee jumping off a bridge (My spine is not an accordion!)
5. No television OR No music (I would weep without my TiVo, but come on, I can't live without music.)
6. No more pizza, ever OR No more chocolate, ever (This is like Sophie's Choice! Argh! But there are other sweets, I suppose I could make do.)
7. A trip to Europe OR a trip to Hawaii (I want to go to Europe, but more I want to lay on a beach somewhere beautiful and drink fruity alcohol.
8 An hour with your future soul mate OR An hour with a lost loved one (If it's my soulmate, I'll find him/her eventually.)
9 No longer being able to cry OR No longer being able to feel the need to cry (If I felt like I really needed to but never could, that would suck.)
10 Sex without love OR love without sex (This would also suck.)
12. Loving someone who doesn't love you OR being loved by someone you don't love (Believe it or not, I'd feel worse about the second.)

1. Are you currently in a relationship: Yep!
2. Are you currently looking/interested in someone: Yep! (It'd be a shitty relationship otherwise.)
3. Are you a virgin: Yep! Hahahahaha, just kidding. Nope.
4. If yes, how long do you plan to be one: 'Til I'm 40 and then they'll make a wicked awesome movie about my awkwardness!
5. How many times have you been "in love": Twice genuinely, two more times not really.
6. Looking back, how do you feel about that person(s) now: The not reallys: One quite warmly, with a touch of "what a dumb-ass", one "what a dumb-ass". The genuines: One warm, a bit sad. One warm and fuzzy and sweaty and... I've said enough.
7. Name three things (physically) you look for in someone: Nice eyes, good smile, giant dong. Nah, I don't really care about the eyes. Seriously, the third would be decent build. Skinny boys make me feel like Jabba the Hut.
8. Name three things (mentally/emotionally) you look for in someone: Sense of humor, intelligence, openness
9. Biggest turn offs include: not openness, rudeness, bigotry, BO. (Let's be honest.)
10. Your ideal date would be: Fun, sweet.
11. You want to get married, where, when, how: Someday, somewhere, by someone. I haven't worked out all the particulars yet.
12. Does anyone have feelings for you right now that you don't return: Not that I'm aware of.

CIRCLE SEVEN: THE FRIENDS (of your friends, who would you say is:)
1. The one you immediately go to with a problem: Suzy, Mary
2. The most rational: Mary
3. The funniest: Sara
4. The one you spend the most time on the phone with: Lissy.
5. The craziest (but in a good way): Sara
6. The most honest: Suzy, Mary
7. The purest: Suzy
8. The smartest: All!
9. The most athletic: Jenn
10. The most compassionate: Suzy, but all my friends are super compassionate.
11. The one most likely to get thrown in jail and why: Sara, and there's no telling why!
12. The last one that said "I love you": Stacy

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Super Lame

My back hurts, I'm supposed to be leaving soon to go to my sis's, I left my phone at home and feel completely naked and I want a nap. So you get the lamest post ever.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Scariest Survey EVER

Would you rather...
1.) Be able to comsume fatty foods without gaining weight OR be able to have unprotected sex without getting sexual diseases? Are you kidding me? Bacon wrapped cake, beeyotch. Not really, that would be gross. But you get my meaning.
2.) Be able to communicate with animals, but only the nerds OR be able to read people's minds but only when they are thinking about aluminum siding topics and issues? Animals. I don’t get this nerdy animal thing. But talking to animals would be great unless I realized my pets think I’m an asshole.
3.) Have a knack for model train set-ups but have an irresistible urge to punch people named Mildred in the breast and thighs OR be able to make anything shiny but be unable to refrain from making the tug boat gesture and sound any time an overweight person enters a room? Number one, since I don’t know anyone named Mildred, and if I did, they might deserve it.
4.) During sex, be able to read the mind of the person you are having sex with OR be able to hit you or your partner's G-spot by finding Waldo in a Where's Waldo book? (each page used only once)Reading the mind would be more useful, because then I could tell if I was getting anywhere near the g spot as well as anything else. But there would need to be a filter so I didn’t hear “Damn, is her ass getting bigger?”
5.)Every hour on the hour, change which gender you are attracted to OR turn your sexual partner into Tony Danza when you climax, and then turn them back to themselves the next time you have sex with them?The first one does not bother me at all, the second makes me want to be ill.
6.)Have your mom have to put on your condom like she was dressing you as a child OR never be able to call your spouse by the same name twice?Mom+condom=never happening for any reason ever.
7.)Have to use condoms that come in a wrapper where you have to finish the crossword puzzle before it can be opened OR be unable to shake the image of Meadowlark Lemon during all sexual congress? The puzzle would be part of the fun!
8.) Never be able to experience orgasm OR perpetually experience orgasm? This is a dumb question. But obviously the second. I’d just need to learn to work around it, so to speak.
9.) Attract swarms of fireflies when aroused OR have the sound of microphone feedback intermittently emanating from your crotch? Feedback from my crotch would be hilarious.
10.) Your penis/breasts increase in size by 10 percent each year OR decrease in size by 2 percent each year? I wouldn’t be able to stand upright by the time I was 30, so option B.11.) Vicariously experience all orgasms that occur in your zip code OR during sex, have the Microsoft paper clip help icon appear with sex tips?MS Help blows. Option B.
12.) Have Bettie Davis eyes OR Charles Manson eyes? Why in god’s name would I want Charles Manson eyes? A. DUH.
13.) Be able to simulate the voice of anybody you meet OR simulate the hair?I could make serious bank by simulating voices. I’ll take it.
14.) Be able to achieve orgasm at will OR be able to make anyone other than yourself achieve orgasm at your will? Others, how cool would that be? "Ding! You can thank me later." This was the last person’s answer, but I couldn’t change it. Perfect.
15.) Have taste buds all over your body OR have a malleable stress-ball head? Stress ball head. I don’t want to know what certain things taste like, such as my feet.
16.)Have an ever-changing tattoo that takes the form of whatever image you will it be OR be able to psychically see anybody's internet browser history when looking at them? That’s retarded. Changing tattoo would be much better.
17.) Have Gatorade saliva OR be able to murmur fluently in twelve languages? Gatorade saliva would be disgusting. The language thing would be bad-ass.
18.) Be able to insist on paying for the check but never actually get stuck with it OR know exactly what the person on the other end of the phone looks like simply by hearing their voice? The first one. :)
19.) Slide naked down a fire man's pole covered with tacks into a pool of scotch OR cheese-grate the skin off your left forearm? The second, but I’m weeping for either.
20.) Chew a used condom as gum for an hour OR have all your pubic hairs become ingrown? GAH!!! B, but please kill me.
21.) Sleep a night on a bed of peanut butter OR next to a humidifier full of urine? Peanut butter. What sick bastard wrote this survey.
22.) Have invisible skin OR see in strobe light? See in strobe light. Then I could just gouge my eyes out.
23.) Have an intense urge to whisper sweet nothings into the ears of bus drivers as you pay your fare OR have parents who affectionately refer to you as "anal cakes"? The first would be funny, especially if I could carry mace if needed.
24.) Have permanent Cheetoh residue on your fingertips OR appear as Shemp of the three stooges in all photographs? Cheetoh residue, as long as it didn’t get on my clothes or others.
25.) Have commercial interruptions during masturbation fantasies OR have to masturbate with the mandatory use of a Sesame Street's Elmo hand puppet? It would be A, because I refuse to violate my childhood.

Would your rather your only porn be......
1.) 6 second clips of hot people OR 2 minute clips of moderately attractive people? 2 minutes. I can’t get anything done in 6 seconds.
2.) Verbose, subtle erotic fiction OR pornographic Magic Eye 3D pictures? The first one. (Am I really going to post this in my blog?!)
3.) Animal Nature documentaries OR suggestive cloud formations? Cloud formations are much more fun.
4.) Geometric shapes OR family reunion pictures? SHAPES. No family EVER.

Would you rather live in a world....
1.) Where women were given equal pay, opportunity, and access to jobs OR where men experience the pains of the birth process along with women? Damn, I want both. Except then the species would die out. Let’s say A.
2.) Where there was a rapper-like East Coast/West Coast feud of mimes OR where the pledge of allegiance was changed to the lyrics to "Eye of the Tiger"? Hee, bring on the warring mimes.
3.) Where Teletubbies were a common species of creature that lived in the wild OR where there were evil, bizzaro arch-enemy versions of ourselves? Teletubbies. I know too many people whose archenemies would scare me.
4.) Where the convention of singing "Happy Birthday" was replaced with "You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet" by Bachman Turner Overdrive OR where congressional debate was settled by dodgeball contests? Dodgeball! Whoo!
5.) Without skin moisturizer OR without cream cheese? Cream cheese. I’d miss cheesecake, but there would still be cake and pie.

(Guys) Would you rather have sex with....
1.) Hillary Clinton OR Natalie from Facts of Life? (This doesn’t apply to me, but Natalie. At least she was my age-ish.)
2.) Jessica Rabbit OR Daphne from Scooby Doo? (Duh, Jessica Rabbit.)
3.) Venus Williams OR Sheryl Crow if she spoke in the voice of an old Jewish man? (Sheryl Crow, I’d tape her mouth shut.)

Ladies...Would you rather have sex with...
1.) Bryant Gumble OR Weird Al Yankovic? Bryant Gumble. I’d feel like I was violating Al.
2.) Alex Trebec OR Larry David? Larry David, he’s funny and no smug moustache.
3.) Johnny Depp without a leg OR Tom Selleck without a moustache? Hey, if Johnny’s only missing a leg, I don’t see where there’s a problem. However, I would not throw the Selleck out of bed.

Immoral Dilemmas
1.) You are walking down the street and see an open briefcase with $1,000 in it. Across the street there is a police station. Do you spend it on whores or crack? Whores, I don’t have any need for crack. But really I’d buy an iPod and pay my bills.
2.) You're driving at night and hit a dog. No one witnesses you hitting the dog. Do you bake or broil it? CRY.
3.) You're waiting at a red light at 4 am. There isn't a car in sight. No one would see if you ran the light. Do you masturbate with your left or right hand? Wha?! Wait ‘til I got home, Mr. Icky Survey!

I’ve officially squicked myself out with this survey, but I’m posting it anyway.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Sunday Haiku

I am here
at my sister's, and I can't
think of stuff to write.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Ethical Dilemma

So, I was at the grocery store earlier today, and the man in front of me had a case of water underneath his cart that I'm pretty sure didn't get rung up. A large part of me wanted to mention it in case he just forgot it, which is totally something I would do. But the rest of me didn't want him to yell at me and think I thought he was a thief or whatever, or get indignant because he actually was stealing it. Anyway, it was probably only 3 or 4 bucks but it bothered me. How does one handle that situation?

Friday, November 9, 2007

The Way Back Machine

So, the second prompt I had yesterday was about what my earliest memory is. Good question! I’ve got more than one, so I’ll go ahead and write a few.

I think I remember the day we moved into the house we grew up in, but my parents think I just know it from the telling. All I really remember is sitting around a bunch of boxes and eating White Castles, so it’s entirely possible they’re right on that, but that’s what I pinpoint as my first memory.

The first birthday I remember was when I was 3 or 4. I don’t remember a ton about it either, except that it was at Showbiz Pizza (before it became Chuck E Cheese) and my grandma and grandpa gave Liss and I tricycles.

The first trip I ever remember taking is to Tennessee to visit my great grandmother. I was probably 4 or 5 then. We took my grandparents’ RV, which was really cool. I remember walking to a general store-type place and spending forever picking out candy, as kids do. I also remember that Great Grandma was 98, mostly blind, and sat knitting in a rocking chair. She scared the crap out of me, the way old people do. My uncle Joe and… Uncle TF? Was that who it was? Anyway, two uncles taught Liss and me how to clap with one hand (which Uncle Joe could do really well because he’s double-jointed) and how to spin on our butts on the hardwood floor, which we thought was the most awesome thing ever. I also remember my cousin Jana used to dote over us a ton, and for some reason we called her Frog.

From kindergarten, I remember usually wanting to play with the cardboard bricks rather than the dolls and stuff. I liked building stuff, but I more liked being dramatic and making soap operas out of the space battles the boys were playing. I also remember a talent show where we sang “Let’s go fly a kite,” which I still know all the words to. And my art of smiling flowers got picked to be displayed in the Children’s Museum, (which was free at the time! I paid $20 to get in there two weeks ago!) and I thought it was too freakin’ cool.

So…yeah! Those are things I consider to be my first real memories!

Thursday, November 8, 2007

In Concert

I’m fishing for writing prompts and it’s only November 8, sweet Jesus.

However, the Queen, and her friend Caroline, have both given me great prompts! Huzzah!

What was my first BNL concert? (Barenaked Ladies is tied for my favorite rock band in the world with Guster.)

BNL was actually my first concert ever, and I was 18. My mom way over-sheltered me. I got to go to the concert because I had made a friend at college, Marc, who introduced me to BNL, and, in an effort to get to know each other better (and a foreign city, as Marc is a native Chicagoan), he asked me to go to the show. My mom was hesitant to let me go (yeah, I lived at home, it was cheaper) and it was actually my grandma convinced her that it would be okay. My mom was on the phone with my grandma, and mentioned the show and that I wanted to go see some band about naked people. My grandma responded “Oh, Barenaked Ladies! I saw something about them on VH-1! They’re nice boys, one of them has cancer.” It’s funny, because I’m certain my grandma has never heard a BNL song in her life, but I still owe her one for that. So my mom bought the tickets for Marc and I to see Barenaked Ladies at Conseco Fieldhouse. Marc was extra psyched because Guster was opening for them. I’d never heard of Guster at all, but I was still excited about the concert.

We got there super early, and we still had a great time. Someone across the Fieldhouse yelled, “Whoo, Guster!” before people were even really filing in, and Marc was like, “Whoo! Fellow Jew!” because the guys in Guster all happen to be Jewish (though I don’t think that’s a requirement). After Guster played maybe a 7 song set, I was hooked, went to the lobby, and immediately bought “Lost and Gone Forever,” my first and favorite Guster album.

BNL was promoting the “Maroon” album, so there was a chef flinging donuts ala “Pinch Me” and big weird inflatable things. Marc and I sang and yelled and shouted and essentially just had an awesome night. That’s why no matter how far apart Marc and I end up living, I’ll always owe him one for that first BNL/Guster show.

Up next! Earliest childhood memory! Suggestions? Note me!

Wednesday, November 7, 2007


So I’m sick of being mopey, even though I still feel crabby as all hell. But instead of writing about that, I’m going to write about my trip to New York when I was a senior in high school!

The trip lasted from a Sunday to a Thursday, the Sunday and Thursday being travel time. It was hella cheap, too. For 3 plays, two nights in a hotel, bus fare, two dinners, a lunch, and a theater workshop, it only cost about $450, plus whatever money you wanted to spend in the city. Here are some of the highlights:

Coolest Random Billboard: In Times Square, there was a billboard with a giant spoon on it advertising Jell-O. I thought it was the shit. Obviously, I was (and am still) easily entertained.

Best Play Seen: Without question, Kiss Me, Kate, which we got to see with Brian Stokes Mitchell and Marin Mazzie, during the first part of the show's revival. It was absolutely hysterical. The other option that night was Cats, which I ended up seeing years later and hating because it has no plot and goes on for a month. We also saw The Phantom of the Opera, and Les Miserables. They were both good, but neither could hold a candle to the other.

Most Awesome Non-PC Moment: Tim, one of our trip-mates, yelling "Hey guys! A midget!" Which is when we all crowded to one side of the bus to see. The midget gave us the finger. It was awesome.

Most Art Seen: The Greek statues at the Met. We only had 90 minutes at the Met and I wanted to find the damned impressionists, but we kept running back and forth through the room with the statues trying to find it. It was both hilarious and irritating at the same time.

Best Prank Pulled: Some of the other trippers duct-taped our acting teacher's door shut, and because he has an awesome sense of humor, he didn't even get pissed about it.

Most Awesome "People Won't Believe This" Moment: A cop falling off his bike at Battery Park. HiLARious!

Best Event on a Boat: Trippers Joe and Tim pulling a Titanic moment on the deck of the boat to the Statue of Liberty, and a kid puking right behind them. Awesome.

Best Piece of Tchotchky Crap Bought: Statue of Liberty lighter, hands down.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007


So I don't have a headache now, but I'm totally premenstrual and negative and don't want to write about it. I better stop sucking, or my blog month is going to be boring as hell.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

And now presenting... a haiku

At boyfriend's.
No internet at the house.
So short post today!

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Weekend Letters

Dear Cheesecake Factory,

Thank you for opening up ten minutes from my house. This was a wonderfully kind gesture on your part, and I very much enjoyed half a slice of Snickers Cheesecake last night, and intend to thoroughly enjoy the second half after I mow my friend Jen's lawn. Also, thank you for being $6 a slice, thus ensuring that my ass will not immediately grow to eclipse the sun.


Dear Swimmers/Parents of Swimmers at My University,

I can't imagine whatever school or planet you come from is fully loaded with retards, so why is it that you get stupid when you come here? I know, I know. We have a big pool, this is where you compete or watch your kids compete. And given the fact that you or your offspring know how to dive off shit and open your eyes underwater and tread water and do a myriad of things I'm not currently capable of, I have to assume you're capable of using a parking garage. Why, then, do you show up at mine, and drive like someone replaced your brains with speedos and noseclips? Also, don't walk down the middle of the driving lane. It will be very hard for you to swim after I slam into you with Libby the Toyota Corolla of Justice.


I'm beginning to think my unconscious mind take peyote while I'm sleeping. In the past week, I've dreamed that Jon pissed me off by going to a Thanksgiving pageant in Pennsylvania without me, that I was extorted by a small child who wanted less money than I was offering and treated me like I was stupid, and that my twin and I were househunting in California. (We're not, and not planning to as far as I know. Plus, Adam would probably be pretty pissed.) This is to say nothing of the dream I had about a month ago where David Bowie wanted me to hang out with his daughter so that she would look prettier, and therefore become more famous, in comparison to me. Who knew David Bowie was such a twat?

Friday, November 2, 2007

Surveys aren't cheating, right?

Current Book: Devil’s Knot: The True Story of the West Memphis Three, by Mara Leveritt. I’ve only read about 30 pages so far, but it’s really good. After reading Helter Skelter (awesome, FYI), I seem to be on a bit of a true crime kick. Mostly I think I’m on more of a non-fiction kick. Like, I want to go to Borders and buy The Year of Living Biblically and the new Postsecret, and the Mother Teresa book.
Current Shame-Inducing Guilty Pleasure: Watching Cheaters on my DVR when I get ready in the morning. That show’s so awful, and so very watchable.
Current Favorite Colors: Hunter green, and the colors of the leaves outside.
Current Fetish: Making out with Jon. His back was really bad last week, and we started kissing and a lightbulb went off in my brain, like “Holy crap! This is really fun, too!” But that’s not really a fetish. Hmm. Voyeurism. (Now I creep you out. Sweet.)
Current Favorite Food: Pepperoni and pineapple pizza. Steak. Mashed potatoes. Chocolate. I’m indecisive.
Current Favorite Drink: Canada Dry Ginger Ale, and hard cider.
Current Link: I can’t help it, it cracks me up.
Current Favorite Outfit: Eh. Don’t really care. My Old Navy sweaters are really comfy and pretty cute though.
Current Fragrance: Lavender body lotion and “Egyptian Goddess” essential oil.
Current Wish-List: Sacks full of cash, for Jon’s back to get better, and an unlimited expense account at Borders.
Current Favorite Film: Little Miss Sunshine is the first thing that comes to mind, then Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
Current Music: “So Small” – Carrie Underwood
Current Anticipation: Seeing Jon tomorrow. This once a week thing is for the birds.
Current Triumph: Getting all of the scholarship letters ready to go this morning.
Current Bane(s) of My Existence: Forgetting to Xerox the damn letters before I stuffed them in their envelopes, which means later I’ll need to rewrite each one for the student files. Dammit.
Current Celebrity Crush: George Clooney, Tori Amos, Angelina Jolie, and Viggo Mortensen.
Current Indulgence: I just had Steak n Shake with my sis and brother-in-law. Mmmm, Frisco.
Current #1 Blessings: Jon, the pets, friends.
Current Mood: Itchy, but in a good mood. (I think a spider attacked my leg in like 9 places last night. Bitch.)
Current Weather: Cool and clear. Love me some autumn.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Pushing Daisies

I'm telling you, if you're not watching Pushing Daisies you're missing one of the best shows ever. Last week's case in point: Kristen Chenowith and Ellen Greene sang "Put a Little Birdhouse in Your Soul." Awesome.

Two weeks ago case in point: Emerson, Chi McBride's character, is discovered to be a knitter. Double Awesome.

Seriously, with all due respect to Comic Book Guy, and possible exception of The West Wing, Greatest. Show. Ever.

I'll write more if at some point I come up with something more substantial.