Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Please Note!

Dear America:

PLEASE STOP VOTING FOR SANJAYA MALAKAR. I know some of you think he's super cute and you love him, but you're wrong. And I know some of you think that he's awful and he's exactly what we deserve for propagating such a horrible show, and I don't necessarily disagree. But the boy had a row of ponytails last night to serve as a fauxhawk. He's losing it. He can't sing well enough to win, and he makes my earholes hurt. Please, please, please, please. Stop voting for him. Vote for Jordin instead.

Way too invested,

Tuesday, March 27, 2007


Dear Starbucks,

As you probably can tell by the amount of money I have fed you in the past couple of years, I am a big fan of your work. Your coffees are delicious, your caramel apple cider is almost criminal, and you even have a damn tasty tuna sandwich. But your biggest hold over me is the Iced Venti Soy Chai, and we both know it.

Oh, Starbucks, this drink is so delicious, so refreshing. I could have one every day from now until I die, and I would still find your beverage to be divinity in a large, clear plastic cup. So imagine my surprise this morning when my delicious, icy beverage was served with a side of rage. This rage, Starbucks, is because in the cup, along with my 2/3 chai 1/3 ice ratio (don’t think I don’t notice that, barista-types. I would yell, but I like my drink cold.) was about half an inch of air.

Starbucks, this is not acceptable. As you are aware, I allow you to rape me at least weekly for the four odd dollars it costs to procure my wonderous beverage. I will not have you short-changing me out of what has to be at least a good ounce or two of delicious drink. I’m not kidding, I was so irritated by it I wanted to chuck the drink at the barista’s head. And why? Why should you do this to me, your loyal and humble bitch? Please don’t hurt me like this again. Ice should touch lid, mmkay?

Fill it up,

Dear Warm Weather,

Please don’t get me wrong. I do appreciate and enjoy you, and the daily walks have been endlessly pleasant. However, it’s March. It shouldn’t feel like mid-May. My sinuses are confused. Could you please crank it back to the 60s? Just briefly? I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but if you could work that out, it would be great.

Go Away Global Warming,Angie

Dear Functions and Logarithms,

You are all that is between my degree and I. Don’t screw this up for me. I just. Need. To pass.

Then You Can Go With Global Warming,Angie

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Letters to Creatures and Objects

Dear New Office Printer,

I. Love. You. You are so awesome you make up for the fact that I was not allowed to kill the old printer a la Office Space. You are bigger, more beautiful, and, most importantly, you do not get jammed every frickin' two minutes. The hugs I have given you this week are not out of sarcasm, but straight up adoration.

Muchos Besos,

Dear Old Office Printer,

Rot in hell, you piece of crap bitch. Actually, you probably used to be nice, but you really drove me nuts in the meantime. Hope you're recycled into a toaster.


Dear American Idol Contestants,

Melinda and Jordin--you two are the best! You're so damn cute, the two of you together may end up saving humanity at large. If either of you are voted off before top 5, I may set the building on fire.

Haley--Who are you? You show up every week and I never remember you. But last night you shook your knockers and now I do. And I'm a girl, and don't feel that should have been my focus, but I can't remember your vocals, so there you go.

Lakisha--You're good and all, but next to the lovefest I have for Melinda and Jordin, there's no chance for you to be my heart's Idol. You really are great, though!

Chris R--I like you, but I don't get you. Mostly I call you "Not Blake." Whatever.

Chris S--I really liked you at first, but you're starting to bother me. Sound less like Meatloaf and maybe we'll talk.

Gina--They tell you to get in the box, and the Simon yells at you for being in the box. That's some bullshit. You're not going to win, but I love you, so keep being great and hang in there!

Blake--You're like everything cool about N'Sync (DON'T JUDGE ME) rolled into one. Charm and love from girls whom you have no interest in will get you quite far, which is good, because you amuse me.

Stephanie--Come on, girl, you're falling into that Haley category of, "Who?" And you're better than that. If you live through tonight, step it up.

Phil--If only you were less "Buffalo Bill" I might really be able to cheer you on. Congrats on the kid, though.

Sanjaya--Sweetie, go home. You're probably supersweet and cute, but you're barely weaned, and you bug the bejeezus out of me. Also, what the hell with the t-shirt and the thumbs in the holes and what not? Oh, and your hair disturbs me and I believe it is probably some sort of demonic lure.

Randy--Sweet god in heaven, must every critique you utter begin with "Yo, yo, yo, listen up, dawg, my dawgie dog---" You're not in high school. You're not cool because of that. You are, however, a talented musician and producer. FOCUS.

Paula--Whatever rehab you are in, I think it's working. Your crying last week was awesome.

Simon--I love that there are good people for you to be all awesome about, and bad people that you can be all awesome about, and that your mission for the season seems to be to out Ryan Seacrest. Please, please, say mean things to me and then let me make out with you. (Sorry, I may have said too much there.)

Ryan--Damned if I don't love you, you tanned, frightening little thing.

Crying kid from last night--I hope your parents didn't tape that so you won't be subjected to it in 5-10 years.

Love, your bitch,

Dear Pets,

I need you to help around the house more. The apartment's a mess, and so far, nada. Seriously, you can't freeload forever.


Tuesday, March 13, 2007

All I Do is Watch Movies and Shit (with Bonus Book List!)

Seriously, all I can do in here is write about movies I'm seeing and pop-culture I'm consuming. Honest to god, I do real things, like read books and talk about politics and care about the environment and shit, I swear. I just got out of a meeting about totally important international things that I'm not allowed to talk about yet, but will when I can because it's pretty awesome.

And yet yere I shall regurgitate more of my opinions on movies and stuff for you. Oh well!

Believe it or not, I've never seen this movie before. I guess it's not that big a stretch, but given how much I love music and movies it's kind of ridiculous. Anyway, I watched this DVD at my friend Jen's house last Friday and love!

First off, let's talk about Salieri, played by F. Murray Abraham. (Now I get the joke from Last Action Hero, and DO NOT JUDGE ME for seeing and liking that movie.) I could totally relate to the part of this man who knows just enough about music and composing to know that his work is nothing compared to Mozart's. He looks at Mozart's compositions, and he feels like God Himself is composing through Mozart. Being great at music is all Salieri ever wanted, what he promised to God that he would devote his life to, and here's this guy, this raunchy, crass, hilarious genius who has more talent in one of his slightly pink wigs than Salieri has in his entire being. Now, a normal plot would have Salieri jealous of Mozart, but he quickly goes beyond that, determining that God must have a personal vendetta against him, which He flaunts through Mozart. Abraham's playing a character that's HELLA unstable, and he's sympathetic and repellant at the same time, because I can see what a slippery slope it is between jealousy and out and out madness.

Tom Hulce plays Mozart. Can I just get it out of my system really quick that he kind of looks like Chad Lowe? Because it's been distracting me, but now that it's said I feel we can move on. I loved the way he played Mozart. He came off as so child-like to me. Really, he is just a large, precocious child. The gift that he has is as elementary as walking to him, which is why he doesn't seem to get it when continually insults Salieri. He has no concept of how hard it is for most people. Also, he comes across as someone who really just needs people to like him. He seems so insecure, probably because his father so disapproves of him, and particularly with Salieri, all his actions seem to cry out "Look Dad! Look what I can do! Did you see? Did you see me, Dad?" There's just this desperation to be recognized which is kind of mind-blowing considering the guy also has an ego the size of Montana. Hulce was really terrific in the role.

The movie all around is terrific, but there were a few scenes that I thought were particularly amazing, none more so than near the end, where Salieri is helping Mozart with his Requiem. Now, stop reading if you haven't seen and want to see it. Go on, we'll wait. Skip to the book list.

Still with me? Excellent. So Salieri has plotted to drive Mozart to compose the Requiem, and further, plans for Mozart to die and take credit for it as his tribute at the funeral. (How exactly Mozart is supposed to die is murky to Salieri, but he ends up having that taken care of for him, since Mozart basically drives himself into the ground.) Mozart is lying in his bed, racked with fever, but desperate for money and to finish his piece. He's too weak to write, and so Salieri sits at the end of the bed and takes dictation. Mozart is explaining exactly how he wants things to sound, from the chorus to the bassoons and strings. Salieri is just struggling to keep up, and Mozart keeps losing his patience with him. But Salieri's sitting there, writing out this music, and he knows it's genius, and he knows it's not his, but in that moment, he's too busy experiencing this composition coming together to focus on his hate for Mozart, and you can see him getting completely drunk from it, and it's just beautiful.

The whole cast does a great job, and I was especially fond of Jeffrey Jones as Emperor Joseph and Elizabeth Berridge as Stanzi, but really, it's the interaction of Salieri and Mozart that I couldn't tear myself away from. If you haven't seen it yet, Netflix it, it's totally worth it and doesn't at all feel like three hours.

Books I have Lied About Reading
(Suggested by Doppelganger over at 50 Books)

The Grapes of Wrath
Man, we were supposed to read this in high school, and I just hated it. Steinbeck is super-depressing, he totally kills my soul. I read bits and pieces, but honestly, I mostly Cliffnotesed (or rather, Sparknotesed) it. And frankly, I don't think I'm missing that much.

Crime and Punishment
I couldn't get past the first page of this one. Seriously. I totally just read the Cliffnotes and read other people's discussions. Let me know if I missed something great, but I somehow doubt it. (I know, it's great literature, wankity-blah, but I just don't care.)

The Great Gatsby
I have read this now, but I did not actually read it the first time it was assigned to me, which was in high school. I should have just read it because it was really well-done, but Gatsby and Daisy just got on my nerves in high school.

The Reef, and The Age of Innocence
These were assigned in an Austen/Wharton class I took a few semesters ago. At the time, I didn't feel like I had time to read them, but they're on my to-do list now. I really did like The House of Mirth, even though it was a drag.

Another for the Austen/Wharton class. I'm reading it now, though, and I really like it, though it's kind of slow-going. Emma's kind of a hard character to like for most of the book, isn't she? It helps that I know Clueless was based on it, though, so I know she gets better. (Although Cher was always great.)

Tom Sawyer, Huck Finn
I was supposed to read these for a summer children's lit class and didn't. I feel like they're ones I'll get around to, but I'm not in a hurry for it.

I can't think of a clever/pithy way to end this, so... bye!

Friday, March 9, 2007

What I'm Doing when I'm Supposed to be Studying Math

I admit it: I’m a pop-culture whore. In the past five days, I have sampled no less than three pieces of visual entertainment that have delighted and entertained me. One was excellent, one was very good, and one was, while totally enjoyable, utterly crap. Allow me to elaborate:

The Twinkie: Tasty going down, but I’d prefer if no one else saw me consuming it, because it can’t be good for me.
The Twinkie of the week for me, indeed, probably my biggest Twinkie, is American Idol. Particularly now that I have Tifaux and can zap past the parts I don’t care about or the performers that I don’t like. (Bye Antonella!) But let’s face it: pretty much anyone with a modicum of singing ability fantasizes about this show. Of course, my self-esteem is low enough that I wouldn’t even expect to make it to Hollywood. My goal is simply to be able to hug Simon, because I adore him. Still, every week I watch it and as the women are singing, if I know the song and think I could sing it better, or at least as well, you can bet the next morning I’m singing it as I’m fixing breakfast. I can’t help it. If there were an Idol 12-step program I might consider it.

By far and away the best moment this week in Idol was Simon’s reaction to the delightful Melinda Doolittle. She tore the hell out of her song, and when it came to Simon to speak, he was grinning in the most delightful fashion and said, “You’re a little tiger! I thought we had a pussycat!” It was so warm and endearing, and Melinda was so obviously delighted by it I just wanted to kiss him. Speaking of kissing…

The Coldstone Creamery: Delicious, and readily accessible!
I LOVE House. Hugh Laurie is so delightfully cranky and funny, he warms my very toes. (If you haven’t seen Sense and Sensibility, rent it this weekend. It’s great, but he’s worth the price of admission.) The show can be a bit up and down with me from time to time, but I love the entire cast. However, this week was just great. House is playing the piano! With Dave Matthews! Who is actually a good actor in this! Seriously, Dave Matthews was charming and not at all overdone as the savant. And Red Foreman was his dad! IMDb informs me his name is really Kurtwood Smith, but come on, it’s Red Foreman. He was wonderful as well. Chase’s moment with House was a delight, Cuddy and her “Call the Make-a-Wish Foundation” line was hilarious and best of all, the House and Cameron smooch was HOT. And trust me, I’m not a giant fan of that connection, but I watched that scene no less than four times before coming to work yesterday. The kiss itself was great, but then when House figured out that Cameron was trying something, and his eyebrow arched straight off his head? Poetry. One of the best episodes I’ve seen yet.

The Caramel Pecan Turtle Cheesecake: There are no words for how wonderful this is.
The non-date I went on this week was to see Pan’s Labyrinth. I was warned that it was extremely depressing, but I didn’t actually find that to be the case, because I was looking at it through the lens of “fairy tale”. Should someone stumble across this and not have seen it, I don’t want to give much away, but the movie is absolutely great. The cinematography is stunning, the whole artistry of the movie is just gorgeous. The story is simple, but lovely, and well-acted all around. I was a little nervous about seeing a subtitled movie in theaters for the first time, but it was a non-issue. Everything about the movie was terrific, highly recommend.

And there you have it! My week in pop-culture snacks!

Thursday, March 8, 2007

Pardon me, I need to Squee

I have pop-culture bloggings to post today, but let me start with this:

I asked a guy out last week! We went to a movie yesterday! It was great! It probably wasn't a real date, but it was fun, he knows I like him and there's definite potential! Huzzah!

(This is the first guy I've been interested post-breakup. It's a big step for me!)

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

The Queen: Review

I've been meaning to write up my opinion about this film since I saw it a month ago, and what with the Oscar and stuff, everyone on the planet has already seen it, but there were certain aspects about the movie that I really liked, so I'm going to write it anyway.

The Queen is about such a limited time frame that it really works. It only covers the death of Princess Diana and the week immediately after. The central conflict of the story is how the monarchy should respond to the Princess's death. It's a lot less cut and dry than most people probably anticipate it being, and that's for a lot of reasons, reasons that are touched on in the movie. For one, and it's hard to believe that this is one that's easy to forget: The Queen is the grandmother to two young boys who have just lost their mother, and she is obviously concerned about their well-being. She knows the media is going to be a circus, and she wants to protect the boys from that. Secondly, this is a woman who was raised and reigned during World War II, and those of us with grandparents from that era can attest to the fact that these were people who were taught to keep emotion to themselves. Public demonstrations of grief were thought to be disrespectful. Like it or not, stiff upper lip is almost genetic to this generation of people. And third of all, Diana's relationship with the Royal Family was incredibly complicated, and this was not entirely the fault of the Royals.

Don't get me wrong, I sympathize very much with Diana. It's one thing to think about being in the Royal Family, and it's quite another to actually be in it. I can imagine that the stress and strain on her was enormous. This must have been compounded by her struggles with depression and the constant media attention should she so much as want to go shopping. But whether deservedly or no, Diana caused the Monarchy a great deal of trouble by speaking out with her opinions, telling her stories, and presenting them in a light that, delicately put, was not flattering. And so the Queen was probably also struggling with those emotions as well.

All of that comes across in Helen Mirren's portrayal, stunningly so. She is at once strong and vulnerable, and to watch her struggle with the reactions of the media and of her subjects to not only Diana's death but to her response to it was really interesting and really gets you to think more about what that must have been like. She really did a superb job.

The supporting cast was also excellent. Michael Sheen was a great Tony Blair, and I liked the balance he was striving for between the derisive comments of his staff and the sympathy he obviously feels for the Queen. Although, I must say, the people around him, including his wife, seem harsher than I would hope they actually were. The best scene in the film is when he remarks on how quickly the public can turn on you, and the Queen assures him that he will have to deal with it in his own time. (Particularly poignant given Blair's involvement with the Iraq war and the country's reaction.) James Cromwell is always excellent, and it's also interesting to remember that the Queen is also a wife, and see the dynamic play out there. Alex Jennings made Prince Charles both sympathetic and sort of gross at different points. I hope the real Charles broke down when he heard the news. He frustrated me a great deal, though, by seeming to block his mother's entrance into the boys' room after he told them the news. If nothing else, it was good to see a different side of him, a sympathetic one at last. And Sylvia Syms was a hoot as the Queen Mother. Not always funny, but just such a dynamic character and presence, it was a delight to watch.

On a shallow note, every time they show the Queen doing something normal, like driving a hummer, I cracked up. "The Queen said 'walkies'!" I whispered with glee in the theater. Again, humanizing these people is what I think the movie is all about, and the cast and script of the movie did this admirably. If you're one of the few people who haven't seen it yet, I highly recommend it.

Monday, March 5, 2007

The concert, FINALLY

I apparently suck at telling stories, given the length of time that it’s taken me thus far just to get to the concert. But onward, right?

So Suzy drops me off at my apartment, and it’s beginning to ice over, which is excellent since I need to drive myself downtown for the concert and not die, and I’m not at all confident in my abilities to do this. I called my dad to see if he would bring Shadow back over, and he said sure, but he didn’t have a key. I didn’t want to mess with convincing him that my mother did have a key, so I just told him I’d head over there. Meanwhile I’m trying to coordinate with three different people about meeting downtown for dinner and what time. Finally, my friend Leila had talked us all into going to this restaurant called Urban Elements, and I told my friend Stacy, from Valparaiso how to get there based on what Leila had told me, and also let Paul, another concert-goer as well.

When I had called my dad about the dog, my mom had sounded pissy. So as I went into the apartment, leashed up the dog and whispered to my dad that my mom was pissed at me, and what had I done? He kept saying that she was just pissed at him, not at me, but I didn’t believe him, since she sounded so shitty with me. She came into the living room and was really bitchy and yelled about how she would not have people talking about her in her house. I was like, “I just was trying to figure out if you were pissed at me.” She yelled, “Well I am now!’ So I headed into her room, and said “You sounded angry, so I was trying to see if Dad knew what I had done.” She proceeded to tell me that my dad had told her about the money he had paid me in December. My dad had gotten a check from his boss to cover his cell phone bill for a full year, which he passed to me without telling my mom, knowing that my mother would want it. So when she started on him over the weekend about how he needed to pay for the cell phone. So he blurted out, “I did pay her, I got a check in December and I cashed it and gave it to her.” So my mom decided to “catch him in the lie” by asking me. “Did your dad give you money for the phone in December?” she asked. I told her yes immediately, because he had. “Cash or check?” she asked. Keep in mind that this was three months ago, I’ve slept since then, and, oh yeah, I don’t spend every waking moment thinking about it. So I said check. She told me he said it was cash. I replied, “He’s right, it was cash.” Of course, then my mom assumed I was lying. “No, it was cash. He got a check from his boss in his name, so he cashed it at the grocery store and gave me the money.” So my mom started going off about how she couldn’t believe I didn’t respect her enough that I would like in her goddamn face, etcetera. I tried to assure her that I was not lying, but the response I got was thus: “You could swear on Nicky’s grave (that would be my dead sister, by the way. She died of cancer before I was born.) and I still wouldn’t believe you.” My response was “Fine, but I’m telling you the truth.” There was more melodramatics, but not much more, because I needed to head out or I wouldn’t make dinner. So I dropped the dog at home and braved the trek downtown, which SUCKED. Leila and I agreed to drop our cars at the parking garage on the campus where we both go to school and work, and have Paul drive us to the restaurant for dinner. Of course, we agreed that after I’d gotten to the restaurant and parked, but whatever, carpooling good.

When we walked in, there were Stacy and her boyfriend Dan on the couch, but we didn’t see Mookie right away. That’s because he was shoved back in a corner with his friend, John, who joined us for dinner. Dinner was a riotous affair. We were all making jokes and bantering about, it was super fun. I ordered a BLT, which was BRILLIANT. It had so much bacon on it. It made me incredibly happy. They also have hot cookies and delectable chocolate desserts, mine was like a super-dense brownie. I needed the milk I ordered. Poor Leila, she hates milk, so she kept eyeing my glass and saying “Cow excretion” with a shudder. It was excellent.

The ice had finally stopped, but it was replaced with a positively miserable rain. But we refused to have our spirits dampened! Driving and driving and driving led no avail to a decent parking space, so Paul, being the saint that he is, dropped Leila right in front of the Murat. Of course, we immediately found out that you had to go in through the back entrance. CURSES! So I called Paul on the cell phone, and got him to come drive us around before parking. Seriously, we’re not prima donna bitches, we were just cold and not wanting to spend the concert soaked.

Leila and I met up with Mookie inside, and as we waited for the rest of the crew to arrive, we played a game called “Why are these people here?” Guster is an amazing band, and more power to the people who love their music. But there were so many teenie boppers there! Since when do teenie boppers like good music? And frat boys! We just didn’t understand!

The opening act didn’t sound all that promising, so we decided to wait in the lobby for it to end and keep playing our game and chat. Fortunately, they weren’t on that much longer and the actual Guster performance was well worth the wait.

Musical Highlights included:
“Demons”—Man, that song kicks ass, and it’s better live.
“Manifest Destiny”—Such a great tune
“The Airport Song”—That’s right, hurl ping pong balls at the band!
The drummer. If you don’t know Guster, the drummer is the biggest badass in all the land. He plays the drums most of the time with his bare hands. And this is rock music, people. So he’s playing the high hat and the set like that. So awesome. We’ve decided he should death match it with the one-armed drummer from Def Leppard.
The final encore was the drummer singing “What’s Up?” by 4 Non Blondes. I really don’t like this song in the real world. However. Guster kicked it’s ass. Because the drummer is a drummer for a reason, and he can’t really sing. But it was still super fun and just a great energy to end the show.

Band Awesomeness Highlights Included:
The band being stoked about the lighters, cell phones and glow sticks being used in the audience. As soon as he said “glow stick” the guy in the audience launched it onstage, where it hung like a beacon the rest of the night.
The intro to “So Long.” Ryan was like “We only play this song a couple times a tour. So I had to look up the lyrics to the song online, so nobody better be fucking with me.” AWESOME.
Guster rocks because they always explain the encore process. “Okay, so the lights are going to go out, and you’ll all clap. And then we’ll come back out and do some more songs.” HEE!

People Highlights Included:
The frat boys. They were pretty dumb.
The drunk girl in front of us. She must have been all of 19 years old, and I’m pretty sure she drank her weight in Bud Light. We were pretending to be documentarians, all “Note how the female clings to the waste of the male in an attempt to remain upright.” The chick eventually ended up on the floor, and her friends were all just still watching the show. Security came over, all like, “She’s a fire hazard.” Seriously? Of course she is, and she might also be dead! Go security! Her girlfriends must actually like her because they were giving her their hoodies and stuff to wear outside so she wouldn’t die in her tube top. Two guys were actually just holding her like a basket outside. It was hysterical.

So that was the concert! Good times. Next installment: Parent douchebaggery! Then I can return to normal posting about nothing.

Friday, March 2, 2007

Saturday Day

Okay, so concert-ward. Better late than never, right? Damn, I'm slow, though.

I’ve been looking forward to Guster playing at the Murat for weeks, and Saturday was finally the day. But before that I had made plans to head down to Bloomington with my friend Suzy to this Catholic retreat place for Mass and food. No problem, we were supposed to be back by 3, and then I was going to meet up with my friends around 5:30 for food and concert fun. In theory, of course. In practice, this is what went down:

Suzy fixed us this delicious breakfast. There was a loud rap on my apartment door around 8:45. I’m thinking, “Barry, your mom can walk to the damn hospital.” But no! It was a dozen red roses and a card! So I’m all “I got flow—that’s not my name.” Kara had gotten flowers, from our friend and co-worker Sami, who had suddenly decided he was entirely smitten with her. Well first, we were all plotzing for Kara, because really, how cute is that? But second, because I am a shallow and small person, I said, “Wait, did a woman who is not me just get flowers at my apartment?” Fortunately, my friends all laughed at me and pointed out that they did give me lovely dishes and stuff the night before, so I tried to reel in my smallness. I still contend that it was slightly bullshit.

So I decided to take Shadow over to my parent’s house for the day since I was going to be out most of it. Of course, while I was over there, my father mentioned something ass-y my mother had said, and I ranted about that and got myself worked up into a royal snit. Post-snit, I saw the girls off besides Suzy, and we headed B-town-ward and talked theology and whatnot. It was really nice. So was the Mass. It was more old-school than anything I was used to, but still really cool. I don’t know. There are aspects of Catholicism that rock, and others that do not. We’ll see.

On the way back, we stopped at a diner called Lennie’s, and I had a sandwich that had to have been inspired by God Himself. (Catherine, if you read this, please try to visualize, as I do not yet have a digital camera!) Picture a pile of roast beef, mixed with bits of crumbled bacon, slices of tomatoes, sweet marinated red onions and melted mozzarella cheese on store-made, fresh baked bread. Also, picture it being the size of your face, because it is. It’s a marvel and a joy and oh, so delicious. Also delicious was the cucumber slaw, very tart and refreshing. SO GOOD. After that, Suzy stopped at this Thai place to get some to-go for her dinner. She just couldn’t make the trip and skip it.

Well, we didn’t get back by 3. It was more like, oh, 4:30, and I had forgotten my cell phone at home. I had four messages and seven missed calls. Did you ever notice that on the days you forget your cell phone you become popular? This is what seems to happen to me.

Coming up in adventures of weekend-dom: A great concert! Crappy weather! And the afore-mentioned rotten parents! Stay tuned!