Sunday, November 2, 2008

Commercials that make me love my DVR

There are certain commercials that, when I see them, I hit my fast forward button immediately, because if I didn't, I'd break my TV. Here are a few examples:
The Glade commercials. Excuse me, the Glah-Day commercials. I know what! My house smells nice and I've been complemented! But oh, no! I bought my candle/air spray at the grocery store, and I'm afraid my friends will think I'm not a big enough asshole if I didn't pay a lot of money for it so I'll lie, only to be busted by obvious product placement, which we'll all laugh about. So we're all big enough assholes! Shut up, stupid Glade commercial.

Male Enhancement ads. I watch Cheaters sometimes because it makes me laugh. And there's a commercial for wiener-growing pills. And this pretty lady reads her lines vacuously and talks about the "size of a certain part of the male body." Because you can't really love a guy with a small dick.

The Sham-wow commercials, or any commercial involving Billy Mays. Hey, Billy. Switch to decaf, and stop yelling. And Sham-wow guy? I know your soul is dying because you're shilling a shop-towel on basic cable, but you're creeping me out. Also, you look douche-tastic. However, I grudgingly admit that the towels seem kind of nifty.

No comments: