holy shitballs

Pardon my French.

Here is the transcript for a commercial I happened to stumble on while fastforwarding through a DVRd episode of Intervention.

Picture two ships: the Santa Maria fading into a cruise ship, after a black screen that says "We've conquered the seas." Next: "We've conquered the skies" followed by a Wright brother's plain and a standard passenger plane. "We've conquered the heavens," followed by a shuttle launch and a space walk. Finally, "But how can we conquer our own self doubts?" Shown: a busy street. "Find out." Super cheesy volcano explosion CG that looks like it had a public access channel budget. "Dianetics.org"

I just... i think I need an intervention now.