Alex has already gone to bed, and I'm watching TV. It has prompted me to write the following letters:
Dear Daily Show with Jon Stewart:
The Shaw-skank Redemption? Fucking awesome. God bless you.
The Shmaily Shmoe with Shmon Shmewart
Suck it. Giant temper tantrums shouldn't get you out of jail, so fucking cope with it, douchebag.
EVERYONE IN THE WORLD.
Yeah, I'm not calling you Dustin Diamond. You'd have to earn that, since you seem to hate the entire reason anyone knows who the fuck you are anyway. I'm not proud that I watch Celebrity Fit Club, but I'm just waiting for people to kill you. Marcia Brady and Kimberly Locke may not fuck you up (although I wouldn't put it past them), but Brat, Cledus and Warren Fucking G might, so step lightly. I know the show's already over, but I hope Harvey finds you and eats your brains, if you have any. You're hilarious in your transparency and desperation to cling to famousness in any way. You're a dumb bastard, please go away, I hate you.