Saturday, June 9, 2007

Letters whilst babysitting

Alex has already gone to bed, and I'm watching TV. It has prompted me to write the following letters:

Dear Daily Show with Jon Stewart:

The Shaw-skank Redemption? Fucking awesome. God bless you.

Love,
The Shmaily Shmoe with Shmon Shmewart

Dear Paris,

Suck it. Giant temper tantrums shouldn't get you out of jail, so fucking cope with it, douchebag.

Anti-Love,
EVERYONE IN THE WORLD.

Dear Screech,

Yeah, I'm not calling you Dustin Diamond. You'd have to earn that, since you seem to hate the entire reason anyone knows who the fuck you are anyway. I'm not proud that I watch Celebrity Fit Club, but I'm just waiting for people to kill you. Marcia Brady and Kimberly Locke may not fuck you up (although I wouldn't put it past them), but Brat, Cledus and Warren Fucking G might, so step lightly. I know the show's already over, but I hope Harvey finds you and eats your brains, if you have any. You're hilarious in your transparency and desperation to cling to famousness in any way. You're a dumb bastard, please go away, I hate you.

Overcompensating asshole.
Not Impressed

1 comment:

fish said...

I fully agree. His willingness to instigate only shows that he takes the show as means to put him back on TV, and to highlight his pitiful attempt to be a standup now. His act is offensive for the sake of being offensive, and frankly I hope Harvey reduces him to tears in the finale.