Latest Pop-Culture Consumption

So, on the plate for review are about the two most different movies humanly imaginable, and both will probably be kind of brief, but let’s do this.

Shrek the Third

This was a perfectly serviceable installment of the Shrek franchise. It was by no means unfun, but definitely not as clever or as cute as the first two. Actually, the most fun parts are the parts that kind of glossed over. I’d watch a movie about the princess posse, and also one about the ugly stepsisters. Donkey was pretty funny, and Puss is a totally winsome character. The Shrek character didn’t seem to have the energy throughout that he did before, but that may be just what I saw. But overall, it’s a fun way to spend an afternoon. Frankly, though, I wish I’d paid matinee price instead of $9, but oh well.

Into Great Silence

I went and saw this last night with my friends Suzy and Dave. I actually didn’t stay all the way through it because I got a serious headache and the light was killing me. But the movie’s a German documentary about Carthusian monks. The Carthusians live very simple, quiet contemplative lives and the film shows it as just that. It’s startling how quiet the movie is, especially for the standard movie-goer. At one point, you spend about a minute listening to the snow falling. The movie was very peaceful and zen-like to watch, and it’s definitely something I want to see the rest of and probably own because it just gave me a nice, calm feeling. Also, it’s quite a compelling movie given the subject matter and the fact that very little happens. Anyway, if you’re into that kind of thing, check it out, it’s really good.

This weekend, I’m supposed to be seeing Knocked Up, which I’m stoked on. If it’s half as good as The Forty Year Old Virgin it’ll be a great popcorn flick.

Finally, in other pop-culture consumption news, I got The Office seasons 1 and 2 for my birthday. There is just some freaking killer acting on that show. Steve Carell is brilliant as Michael, and I’d forgotten how much of season 2 I watched through my fingers. The episode where he cooks his foot and Dwight gets a concussion is sheer genius. Also, the tête-à-tête between Pam and Jim, the flirtation, et cetera, is some of the best chemistry I’ve seen on TV. I’d not seen “The Booze Cruise” episode, and when Jim told the documentary filmers, “For the record, I’d save the receptionist,” my heart broke for him more than a little. And with The West Wing over, I can’t think of a better ensemble cast on network TV. How I Met Your Mother is a lot of fun, but this just feels more real. If you haven’t watched this show yet, please make it your summer mission to Netflix them, I highly doubt you’ll regret it.

Finally, a quick memo to the weather:

To Whom It May Concern:

It’s too hot for barely the beginning of July. Please take the wet towels off the planet and crank the air back down to the mid-70s or low 80s ASAP.

Cordially,
I Don’t Have Air in My Car, Please Give me an Effing Break

Zen

Help me make sense of the following please:

They showed Marlee Matlin in the audience of American Idol last night. Can she really fully appreciate... a singing competition? How does a deaf person develop an invested interest in that? It's all kind of confused.

Prediction: Jordin. I initially thought it would be Blake, but Jordin kind of burned it up last night, and frankly, I think she got the pimp. But I've been wrong almost every other time, with Fantasia as the exception, so we'll see what I know.

8 Things, Etc.

So Doppelganger is helping me write again, which is awesome. She's insisting that anyone who read her 8 Random Facts supply their own. Perfect to get the brain flexing on a Monday morning!

1. You know those giant mascot costumes? I had to wear one once. I was being Arthur the Anteater for my mom as part of a book promotion thing. It paid like $8 an hour and I was in high school so it sounded great. The problem is kids are evil to people in costumes, with poking and kicking and saying mean things, and you aren't allowed to say shit. Arthur thought seriously about going on a killing spree those three or four days.
2. I don't eat cheese by itself. This seems really odd to people, as I love grilled cheese and cheese on stuff, but I just... can't get behind eating it solo. It's probably textural, most of my food things are. But I really need to get over it, because it makes me a bitch to please at cocktail parties, etc. Oh, and I also can't stand macaroni and cheese. Bleh.
3. My mom was super-duper over-protective. I wasn't allowed to ride my bike in the street (in a suburban neighborhood) until I was 14. I wasn't allowed to walk to the library (which was literally across the street) by myself until I was like, 13, and even then I had to take a pager so she could get a hold of me, and I had a time limit.
4. I was like every other young girl in the world at one point and wanted to be a ballerina. My mom told me I couldn't be a ballerina because I was going to end up getting really big boobs, and I insisted that I wasn't ever going to have those. I was so wrong as to be hysterical. But really, my mom should have just told me no because I had flat feet.
5. I like ranch salad dressing on so much stuff as to probably branch into gross. I particularly like it with meatloaf, which tends to gack out everyone around me. At least I don't put ketchup on my turkey like my brother-in-law! And it's got to be Hidden Valley. Nothing else tastes right.
6. I'm afraid of birds, which is one of my go-to oddities. I'm working on being less afraid, but wing-flapping scares the hell out of me.
7. When I was a kid, I wanted to be the following professions: lawyer (because I watched LA Law with my parents), actor/singer, marine biologist, President, writer. All things I still like, but none what I ultimately plan on doing.
8. I'm really good at massage, and am so far self-taught. I want to get certified, though, so I can use it as a way to supplement my income. How awesome would it be to have a therapist who's also good at massage? I joke about it, but really, that might be a profitable career path...

Also, because I watched a fair amount of Inside the Actor's Studio over the weekend, I keep thinking about that survey from the end (you know, the one by Ber-nard Pe-VOT. I love James Lipton.) and have decided to answer it as well, so I can be prepared if the need arises.

What is your favorite word?
"Bulbous" because of the way it makes my sister laugh.

What is your least favorite word?
I hate the word "moist". It gacks me out.

What is your favorite curse word?
Bollocks. Though I say "fuck" far more frequently.

What sound or noise do you love?
Running water, great music, or genuine laughter.

What sound or noise do you hate?
Sirens really hurt my ears. I also hate the sound of parents speaking harshly to their kids, it makes me really anxious.

What turns you on or excites you?
Things that allow me to be funny, to think, or to do things for other people. Great music, or books or conversation.

What turns you off?
Small-mindedness and bigotry. People who don't listen to each other. Excessive egotism.

What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?
Well, we'll assume that my intended profession is out of the way, since I plan on being a counselor. I really do love performing, so any setting that would allow that.

What profession other than yours would you not like to attempt?
Anything that's excessively paper-pushy or mind-numbing. I need something that makes me think and really allows me to be creative and helpful. An Office Space type job would probably destroy my soul.

And finally, if Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"Good enough."

If you've read this, consider yourself tagged for one or both!

Oh HELL YES

Guess what? After flunking math twice which kept me from graduating, I got a D in the class. And a D is good enough to graduate! (Though it still pisses me and my 3.8 GPA off.) Which means I am, with some formalities, the proud owner of a Bachelor's Degree in English and a Bachelor's Degree in Communication Studes, double major that I am.

That's what I'm talking about! WHOO!

I don't care if this is the first time you've stumbled on this blog or if you're my twin. Comment and say congratulations, dammit! I've earned it and then some!

*dancing jig*

Squee-age!

Three weeks from today I'll be on my way to New York with Leila, DD and Jesus (not that one, the other one) for a taping of The Daily Show and other general debauchery. I'm so excited, I just had to post it.

Also, if you hear someone got arrested for trying to jump Jon Stewart, think of me, and send bail money.

Religious Ponderings

I was meaning to write about this great PBS documentary I've been watching on Mormonism, so that'll be the focus of this, but first, Jerry Fallwell has died.

Now, this guy has a family, and I'm sure there were many, many good things about him. But he was also a bigot who thought that the Anti-Christ would have to be a male Jew (Funny, considering that's who your savior was as well) and that "pagans, and the abortionists and the feminists and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in their face and say 'You helped this happen,'" in regard to September 11. It was a pretty narrow view of the world this guy had. And I sincerely hope that if there is something tangible about the soul that continues on to Heaven or Nirvana, or whatever, that Fallwell gets to spend some much needed time right now to learn the tolerance he didn't practice in life. (Oh, and also, this is a secular nation, whether he likes it or not, so he can stick that in his pipe and smoke it. Or could. Whatever.)

Anyway, The Mormons. So, I have a few (okay, one) Mormon friends, and from what I know from her and that one awesome episode of South Park, it seemed very strange. Of course, when you really look at any religion in the world, they look pretty strange. Take Catholocism for example. "So, your guy came to earth to teach love and tolerance and they killed him. And even though he supposedly took away all your sin with his death, you're pretty much going to feel guilty for every little thing, and decide what your Big Book really says about everything, but sometimes you ignore the stuff your guy said about loving other people and reaching out to the people no one else would. And at some point, you're going to turn some stale crackers and bad wine into his body and blood, and ask us all to participate in cannibalism? Riiiiiight." Now, my point here isn't to mock Catholicism. I was raised Catholic, and I still have a great respect for the Church even if I don't agree with alot of its principles and practices. Same kind of thing that goes for Mormonism. But here's a couple of things that blew my mind in a good way:

• The Mormon Church is easily the most effective with regards to charity and assisting in communities. According to the documentary, Mormons were on their way to Louisiana before Hurricane Katrina even hit, and they didn't just drop off supplies and leave. They helped clean and rebuild as much as they could.
• Generally speaking, Mormons put their money where their mouths are. Most serve on missions when they're around 20 and go to preach their gospel and I assume work in the community. They also put a huge amount of emphasis on the family, and are actually required to spend one evening a week with their families, which sounds harsh, but is probably very good for the family unit.

Here's a couple of things I wasn't so stoked on:

• You can be excommunicated if you have an opinion that differs from Church dogma. So, if you're a feminist and are outspoken about it, you can be thrown out of the Church, and "unsealed" from your spouse, children and family. If I were a practicing Mormon, I think that would be devastating. The Church essentially tells you that your entire family will all be together, physically together, in the next life, and you won't be with them anymore.
• Mormons are a bit more secretive than I would like. They're not transparent about where tithing money goes to, and they're even more guarded regarding their temple ceremonies. On the one hand I know they want to keep their sacred practices sacred and private, but on the other, don't be surprised when people make assumptions about your religion that aren't true. Myths are more interesting than truth, and I can almost guarantee the things we imagine going on are far more benign. But still, it gives an air of caginess I could do without.

Anyway, the documentary was terrific, extremely interesting. You should try to catch it if you can. It's just interesting to think about and I find the more I learn the more everything seems to boil down to similarities. Who knows what I'll arrive at eventually.

The DJ of my Brain

The lovely and talented Doppelganger over at 50 Books, is requesting that we honestly list the soundtrack that plays in my head. This is going to be humiliating, and also awesome.

1. “Girlfriend” or whatever that new piece of shit Avril Lavigne song is. It gets in my head because I think of songs that I fucking hate and there it goes.
2. “Lips of an Angel” – Hinder. See Number 1 re: Songs I Hate.
3. “Call Me Al” – Paul Simon. This is my bounce in my chair song. I always feel happier when it’s playing.
4. “Before He Cheats” – Carrie Underwood. Don’t love this song, don’t hate it. It’s on the radio a lot.
5. “Never is Enough” – Barenaked Ladies. Huh, interesting. I thought, “What BNL song goes in?” and that was the very first thing to pop into my mind. I haven’t listened to that song in ages.
6. “For You” – BNL. Now I’m going to be on a BNL roll for a minute.
7. “Call and Answer” – BNL.
8. “Demons” – Guster. That was the first Guster song to come to mind. Love it.
9. “Manifest Destiny” – Guster. Again with the awesome.
10. “Either Way” – Guster. Go buy some Guster. Now.
11. “Winter” – Tori Amos. One of my top favorite songs by Tori or anyone else.
12. “Time After Time” – Cyndi Lauper and Sarah McLachlan. If you haven’t heard this version yet, it kicks ass.
13. “When You Come Back Down” – Nickel Creek. The mandolin rocks me out of my shoes.
14. “Man of Constant Sorrow” – Foggy Bottom Boys. Well that’s random and also excellent.
15. “Never Again” – Kelly Clarkson. I love her to a degree that embarrasses me.

What’s playing in your head? Leave a comment.

A Lovely Listy Book

Sometimes I suck with titles for these things.

So over the weekend I took the Amtrak up to Chicago and back. I spent four hours in Chicago and twelve hours total on trains. 8 hours up, 6 hours back. It sucked, sort of, but was also fun because I like trains and I got to read! It's been so long since I read for hours at a time. Generally I can only read for an hour or so at a time with stuff. (When Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows comes out, I will do nothing before I'm finished.) So Friday night I went to Borders to get a train read.

I got Five People Who Died During Sex: And 100 Other Terribly Tasteless Lists. Seriously, if you're traveling this summer and you like odd lists, pick it up. It was only $10 and it was so much fun! Here are some of the things I learned:

• Alfred Hitchcock suffered from ovophobia—fear of eggs.
• in 1930, Sears customers became enraged when the catalog was first printed on glossy, non-absorbent paper.
• I forget the country, but this one country let some American missionaries send a whole bunch of Bibles over, and they were having a toilet paper shortage so they processed the Bibles for toilet paper, and you could still read some of the names. (I know, it's horrible, but it's also funny.)
• James Garfield wouldn't have died when he got shot if people had just kept their grubby hands out of his wound. Ick!

It's very light reading and super fun if you like weird factoids. Highly recommend!

Attention!

Today is George Clooney's 46th birthday! Happy birthday, George! In case you were curious, I am available for birthday love, tawdry sex, Republican bashing, or whatever else your needs might require.

That is all.

Fun with ADHD!

I love and hate having ADHD. I love it because it means I'm quick, funny, creative, a good problem solver, passionate, [insert additional wordage that indicates good things.]

The thing I hate is that I have the attention span of a fucking gnat. To wit, I'm working on this paper about Scrubs and gendered humor. I only manage to write about ten minutes before I start doing shit like this. Which, on the one hand is fine, and I know I can overcome it because I have in a lot of circumstances, especially when crunch time hits. But on the other hand, I really just want to get the paper done, but at the same time don't want to work on it.

Blargh!

Still hate my life, but calmer

Paper's still gone. Car's still banged up. Good humor has been restored, though, so that's something at least.

Which is a good thing, because it looks very likely that I'm going to need to take math AGAIN. I bombed the final, which took me to failing. If anyone wants to come pretend to be me and take this fucking class for me that'd be greeeeeaaaaaaat. But I do have good friends, because my friend Kara said she'd take it with me.

Blargh. Life can be a pain in the ass.