This weather is horrible, and worst of all there's no foreseeable end in sight. Would the person who has offended God please repent so He'll turn the earthly air conditioner back on? Thanks so much.
Alternatively, my friend Jenn and I have determined that the heat wave may be coming from the collected heat of the pants that are ablaze in Washington DC these days. Either way, it needs to cool off before I go on an unfortunate water-gunning spree.