Thursday, July 26, 2007

How Not to Get Called a Douche By Me At a Concert

Observed whilst seeing Guster play the lawn last Saturday.

  1. Do not pop the collar on your jacket or polo shirt up. I know you think it is a cool fashion statement. It is not. It makes everyone around you call you a douche. Why? Because you are. The only time this is acceptable is if it is freezing cold and you are trying to protect your neck. No? Collar down, skippy.
  2. If you are obviously pregnant, like in the neighborhood of 4-9 months, don't smoke AND drink in public. Everyone around you is judging you. Harshly. And you suck.
  3. Don't make fun of people for liking the opening band. I love Guster because they opened for Barenaked Ladies. Shut the fuck up and listen, or get a drink and chat, but mocking doesn't make you look cool, it makes you look like a douchewaffle supreme.

I still haven't finished reading Harry Potter yet. Can you believe it?

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