Showing posts with label music. Show all posts
Showing posts with label music. Show all posts

Monday, January 28, 2008

My best idea ever

Okay, you know those irritating, awful Kidz Bop CDs? And how they're full of chirping little cherubs singing songs that are grossly inappropriate for little kid voices to be singing? Seriously, here's an example of stuff just from their latest CD:
  • "What Goes Around"--Justin Timberlake (You cheated on me, so suck it. Awesome for little ones!)
  • "Never Again"--Kelly Clarkson (See above comment.)
  • "Makes Me Wonder"--Maroon 5 (We have fabulous sex, but I think our relationship might be bad. Sorry, Elmo.) (PS--"It really makes me wonder if I ever gave a thought about you." Well played Kidz Bop. Well Played.)
  • "How to Save a Life"--The Fray (Great, because that song's not overplayed enough.)

Okay, so if they're going to make these ridiculous CDs, don't you think the least they could do is put out an incredibly inappropriate CD? I do. Here are some of my suggestions:

  • "Closer"--Nine Inch Nails
  • "Crazy Bitch"--Buck Cherry
  • "Me and a Gun"--Tori Amos
  • "We Didn't Start the Fire" or "End of the World as We Know It"--Billy Joel or REM. (Would it not be awesome hearing those kids trying to chuck those lyrics out?)
  • "Manifest Destiny"--Guster
  • Anything by Jefferson Airplane

I had more, but of course I can't remember them now. Any suggestions from the peanut gallery?

Thursday, November 8, 2007

In Concert

I’m fishing for writing prompts and it’s only November 8, sweet Jesus.

However, the Queen, and her friend Caroline, have both given me great prompts! Huzzah!

What was my first BNL concert? (Barenaked Ladies is tied for my favorite rock band in the world with Guster.)

BNL was actually my first concert ever, and I was 18. My mom way over-sheltered me. I got to go to the concert because I had made a friend at college, Marc, who introduced me to BNL, and, in an effort to get to know each other better (and a foreign city, as Marc is a native Chicagoan), he asked me to go to the show. My mom was hesitant to let me go (yeah, I lived at home, it was cheaper) and it was actually my grandma convinced her that it would be okay. My mom was on the phone with my grandma, and mentioned the show and that I wanted to go see some band about naked people. My grandma responded “Oh, Barenaked Ladies! I saw something about them on VH-1! They’re nice boys, one of them has cancer.” It’s funny, because I’m certain my grandma has never heard a BNL song in her life, but I still owe her one for that. So my mom bought the tickets for Marc and I to see Barenaked Ladies at Conseco Fieldhouse. Marc was extra psyched because Guster was opening for them. I’d never heard of Guster at all, but I was still excited about the concert.

We got there super early, and we still had a great time. Someone across the Fieldhouse yelled, “Whoo, Guster!” before people were even really filing in, and Marc was like, “Whoo! Fellow Jew!” because the guys in Guster all happen to be Jewish (though I don’t think that’s a requirement). After Guster played maybe a 7 song set, I was hooked, went to the lobby, and immediately bought “Lost and Gone Forever,” my first and favorite Guster album.

BNL was promoting the “Maroon” album, so there was a chef flinging donuts ala “Pinch Me” and big weird inflatable things. Marc and I sang and yelled and shouted and essentially just had an awesome night. That’s why no matter how far apart Marc and I end up living, I’ll always owe him one for that first BNL/Guster show.

Up next! Earliest childhood memory! Suggestions? Note me!

Thursday, July 26, 2007

How Not to Get Called a Douche By Me At a Concert

Observed whilst seeing Guster play the lawn last Saturday.

  1. Do not pop the collar on your jacket or polo shirt up. I know you think it is a cool fashion statement. It is not. It makes everyone around you call you a douche. Why? Because you are. The only time this is acceptable is if it is freezing cold and you are trying to protect your neck. No? Collar down, skippy.
  2. If you are obviously pregnant, like in the neighborhood of 4-9 months, don't smoke AND drink in public. Everyone around you is judging you. Harshly. And you suck.
  3. Don't make fun of people for liking the opening band. I love Guster because they opened for Barenaked Ladies. Shut the fuck up and listen, or get a drink and chat, but mocking doesn't make you look cool, it makes you look like a douchewaffle supreme.

I still haven't finished reading Harry Potter yet. Can you believe it?

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Zen

Help me make sense of the following please:

They showed Marlee Matlin in the audience of American Idol last night. Can she really fully appreciate... a singing competition? How does a deaf person develop an invested interest in that? It's all kind of confused.

Prediction: Jordin. I initially thought it would be Blake, but Jordin kind of burned it up last night, and frankly, I think she got the pimp. But I've been wrong almost every other time, with Fantasia as the exception, so we'll see what I know.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

The DJ of my Brain

The lovely and talented Doppelganger over at 50 Books, is requesting that we honestly list the soundtrack that plays in my head. This is going to be humiliating, and also awesome.

  1. “Girlfriend” or whatever that new piece of shit Avril Lavigne song is. It gets in my head because I think of songs that I fucking hate and there it goes.
  2. “Lips of an Angel” – Hinder. See Number 1 re: Songs I Hate.
  3. “Call Me Al” – Paul Simon. This is my bounce in my chair song. I always feel happier when it’s playing.
  4. “Before He Cheats” – Carrie Underwood. Don’t love this song, don’t hate it. It’s on the radio a lot.
  5. “Never is Enough” – Barenaked Ladies. Huh, interesting. I thought, “What BNL song goes in?” and that was the very first thing to pop into my mind. I haven’t listened to that song in ages.
  6. “For You” – BNL. Now I’m going to be on a BNL roll for a minute.
  7. “Call and Answer” – BNL.
  8. “Demons” – Guster. That was the first Guster song to come to mind. Love it.
  9. “Manifest Destiny” – Guster. Again with the awesome.
  10. “Either Way” – Guster. Go buy some Guster. Now.
  11. “Winter” – Tori Amos. One of my top favorite songs by Tori or anyone else.
  12. “Time After Time” – Cyndi Lauper and Sarah McLachlan. If you haven’t heard this version yet, it kicks ass.
  13. “When You Come Back Down” – Nickel Creek. The mandolin rocks me out of my shoes.
  14. “Man of Constant Sorrow” – Foggy Bottom Boys. Well that’s random and also excellent.
  15. “Never Again” – Kelly Clarkson. I love her to a degree that embarrasses me.

What’s playing in your head? Leave a comment.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

The News in Idol

Ah, Idol. Every week you give me new reasons to love and hate you. Some notes:
  • Phil sounded not bad last night! He still looked like a cadaver, but he actually sang pretty well, which was a nice change. I don't dislike him so much as I... nothing him.
  • Lakisha was really not great last night. I'm not as big a fan of hers as I am of Melinda, but she just didn't really hit it with "Jesus, Take the Wheel" last night, which is odd, because I pegged that as a homer for her. She should have gone with some Reba or Patsy Cline.
  • Sanjaya... okay, first of all, is Bonnie Raitt even legitimately country? Because I don't usually hear that song on country stations. But we'll leave that aside. The dude's voice is just not strong enough. He's talent show at best, and he's not even the guy who would win the talent show, he's the guy who'd have a whole bunch of friends show up and then act all whiny and obnoxious when he lost to the Blake or the Melinda. He's going to live through tonight almost undoubtedly, and that makes me sad.
  • Jordin is awesome and I am in love with her. Let me make that clear. But I'm not entirely sure what the lather was about last night. I really, really liked her, but she had a couple of clunker notes in there that I guess I didn't get passed. And she wasn't in the bottom three last week, so it's not like they were working on saving her. But whatever, because I love her and want to take her to Starbucks and so everyone should talk nice about her.
  • Melinda was awesome. Melinda is always awesome. She sounded absolutely terrific, and though I was kind of harshed by Simon's "Stop acting surprised" bit, (although, how cute was he saying "Dude, I know.") the closeups on her reactions, the grin, the glow... she's frickin' awesome. LOVE.
  • Chris Richardson is dead to me now. It wasn't the singing, because I actually liked it. Rascal Flatts tends to sound a bit nasally sometimes, so I got where he was coming from there. It also wasn't him getting snitty with Simon, although, dude? Don't you know he's the only one on the judge panel who knows jack? No, it was him getting snitty with his "nasal is a singing style" (granted, but there are few people who make it work) and THEN having the nerve to bring up the Virginia Tech tragedy. It would have been an entirely different thing if he had said something about appreciating Simon's critique, but he wanted to take the opportunity to send his love and prayers to the school. But he was a douchebag to Simon, he must have known it, and he either had already planned on saying something and decided to do it without really noticing it was no longer appropriate, or, and this is my problem, he knew he was a douchebag and thought he could pull that out of pocket to make up for his ass-hattery. Seriously, I don't care if the guy goes up and sings "Dick in a Box" next week, I'm done with him. People losing their sons, daughters, siblings, etc. cannot be compared in the same breath to Simon being mean to you.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Please Note!

Dear America:

PLEASE STOP VOTING FOR SANJAYA MALAKAR. I know some of you think he's super cute and you love him, but you're wrong. And I know some of you think that he's awful and he's exactly what we deserve for propagating such a horrible show, and I don't necessarily disagree. But the boy had a row of ponytails last night to serve as a fauxhawk. He's losing it. He can't sing well enough to win, and he makes my earholes hurt. Please, please, please, please. Stop voting for him. Vote for Jordin instead.

Way too invested,
Angie

Monday, March 5, 2007

The concert, FINALLY

I apparently suck at telling stories, given the length of time that it’s taken me thus far just to get to the concert. But onward, right?

So Suzy drops me off at my apartment, and it’s beginning to ice over, which is excellent since I need to drive myself downtown for the concert and not die, and I’m not at all confident in my abilities to do this. I called my dad to see if he would bring Shadow back over, and he said sure, but he didn’t have a key. I didn’t want to mess with convincing him that my mother did have a key, so I just told him I’d head over there. Meanwhile I’m trying to coordinate with three different people about meeting downtown for dinner and what time. Finally, my friend Leila had talked us all into going to this restaurant called Urban Elements, and I told my friend Stacy, from Valparaiso how to get there based on what Leila had told me, and also let Paul, another concert-goer as well.

When I had called my dad about the dog, my mom had sounded pissy. So as I went into the apartment, leashed up the dog and whispered to my dad that my mom was pissed at me, and what had I done? He kept saying that she was just pissed at him, not at me, but I didn’t believe him, since she sounded so shitty with me. She came into the living room and was really bitchy and yelled about how she would not have people talking about her in her house. I was like, “I just was trying to figure out if you were pissed at me.” She yelled, “Well I am now!’ So I headed into her room, and said “You sounded angry, so I was trying to see if Dad knew what I had done.” She proceeded to tell me that my dad had told her about the money he had paid me in December. My dad had gotten a check from his boss to cover his cell phone bill for a full year, which he passed to me without telling my mom, knowing that my mother would want it. So when she started on him over the weekend about how he needed to pay for the cell phone. So he blurted out, “I did pay her, I got a check in December and I cashed it and gave it to her.” So my mom decided to “catch him in the lie” by asking me. “Did your dad give you money for the phone in December?” she asked. I told her yes immediately, because he had. “Cash or check?” she asked. Keep in mind that this was three months ago, I’ve slept since then, and, oh yeah, I don’t spend every waking moment thinking about it. So I said check. She told me he said it was cash. I replied, “He’s right, it was cash.” Of course, then my mom assumed I was lying. “No, it was cash. He got a check from his boss in his name, so he cashed it at the grocery store and gave me the money.” So my mom started going off about how she couldn’t believe I didn’t respect her enough that I would like in her goddamn face, etcetera. I tried to assure her that I was not lying, but the response I got was thus: “You could swear on Nicky’s grave (that would be my dead sister, by the way. She died of cancer before I was born.) and I still wouldn’t believe you.” My response was “Fine, but I’m telling you the truth.” There was more melodramatics, but not much more, because I needed to head out or I wouldn’t make dinner. So I dropped the dog at home and braved the trek downtown, which SUCKED. Leila and I agreed to drop our cars at the parking garage on the campus where we both go to school and work, and have Paul drive us to the restaurant for dinner. Of course, we agreed that after I’d gotten to the restaurant and parked, but whatever, carpooling good.

When we walked in, there were Stacy and her boyfriend Dan on the couch, but we didn’t see Mookie right away. That’s because he was shoved back in a corner with his friend, John, who joined us for dinner. Dinner was a riotous affair. We were all making jokes and bantering about, it was super fun. I ordered a BLT, which was BRILLIANT. It had so much bacon on it. It made me incredibly happy. They also have hot cookies and delectable chocolate desserts, mine was like a super-dense brownie. I needed the milk I ordered. Poor Leila, she hates milk, so she kept eyeing my glass and saying “Cow excretion” with a shudder. It was excellent.

The ice had finally stopped, but it was replaced with a positively miserable rain. But we refused to have our spirits dampened! Driving and driving and driving led no avail to a decent parking space, so Paul, being the saint that he is, dropped Leila right in front of the Murat. Of course, we immediately found out that you had to go in through the back entrance. CURSES! So I called Paul on the cell phone, and got him to come drive us around before parking. Seriously, we’re not prima donna bitches, we were just cold and not wanting to spend the concert soaked.

Leila and I met up with Mookie inside, and as we waited for the rest of the crew to arrive, we played a game called “Why are these people here?” Guster is an amazing band, and more power to the people who love their music. But there were so many teenie boppers there! Since when do teenie boppers like good music? And frat boys! We just didn’t understand!

The opening act didn’t sound all that promising, so we decided to wait in the lobby for it to end and keep playing our game and chat. Fortunately, they weren’t on that much longer and the actual Guster performance was well worth the wait.

Musical Highlights included:
“Demons”—Man, that song kicks ass, and it’s better live.
“Manifest Destiny”—Such a great tune
“The Airport Song”—That’s right, hurl ping pong balls at the band!
The drummer. If you don’t know Guster, the drummer is the biggest badass in all the land. He plays the drums most of the time with his bare hands. And this is rock music, people. So he’s playing the high hat and the set like that. So awesome. We’ve decided he should death match it with the one-armed drummer from Def Leppard.
The final encore was the drummer singing “What’s Up?” by 4 Non Blondes. I really don’t like this song in the real world. However. Guster kicked it’s ass. Because the drummer is a drummer for a reason, and he can’t really sing. But it was still super fun and just a great energy to end the show.

Band Awesomeness Highlights Included:
The band being stoked about the lighters, cell phones and glow sticks being used in the audience. As soon as he said “glow stick” the guy in the audience launched it onstage, where it hung like a beacon the rest of the night.
The intro to “So Long.” Ryan was like “We only play this song a couple times a tour. So I had to look up the lyrics to the song online, so nobody better be fucking with me.” AWESOME.
Guster rocks because they always explain the encore process. “Okay, so the lights are going to go out, and you’ll all clap. And then we’ll come back out and do some more songs.” HEE!

People Highlights Included:
The frat boys. They were pretty dumb.
The drunk girl in front of us. She must have been all of 19 years old, and I’m pretty sure she drank her weight in Bud Light. We were pretending to be documentarians, all “Note how the female clings to the waste of the male in an attempt to remain upright.” The chick eventually ended up on the floor, and her friends were all just still watching the show. Security came over, all like, “She’s a fire hazard.” Seriously? Of course she is, and she might also be dead! Go security! Her girlfriends must actually like her because they were giving her their hoodies and stuff to wear outside so she wouldn’t die in her tube top. Two guys were actually just holding her like a basket outside. It was hysterical.

So that was the concert! Good times. Next installment: Parent douchebaggery! Then I can return to normal posting about nothing.

Friday, March 2, 2007

Saturday Day

Okay, so concert-ward. Better late than never, right? Damn, I'm slow, though.

I’ve been looking forward to Guster playing at the Murat for weeks, and Saturday was finally the day. But before that I had made plans to head down to Bloomington with my friend Suzy to this Catholic retreat place for Mass and food. No problem, we were supposed to be back by 3, and then I was going to meet up with my friends around 5:30 for food and concert fun. In theory, of course. In practice, this is what went down:

Suzy fixed us this delicious breakfast. There was a loud rap on my apartment door around 8:45. I’m thinking, “Barry, your mom can walk to the damn hospital.” But no! It was a dozen red roses and a card! So I’m all “I got flow—that’s not my name.” Kara had gotten flowers, from our friend and co-worker Sami, who had suddenly decided he was entirely smitten with her. Well first, we were all plotzing for Kara, because really, how cute is that? But second, because I am a shallow and small person, I said, “Wait, did a woman who is not me just get flowers at my apartment?” Fortunately, my friends all laughed at me and pointed out that they did give me lovely dishes and stuff the night before, so I tried to reel in my smallness. I still contend that it was slightly bullshit.

So I decided to take Shadow over to my parent’s house for the day since I was going to be out most of it. Of course, while I was over there, my father mentioned something ass-y my mother had said, and I ranted about that and got myself worked up into a royal snit. Post-snit, I saw the girls off besides Suzy, and we headed B-town-ward and talked theology and whatnot. It was really nice. So was the Mass. It was more old-school than anything I was used to, but still really cool. I don’t know. There are aspects of Catholicism that rock, and others that do not. We’ll see.

On the way back, we stopped at a diner called Lennie’s, and I had a sandwich that had to have been inspired by God Himself. (Catherine, if you read this, please try to visualize, as I do not yet have a digital camera!) Picture a pile of roast beef, mixed with bits of crumbled bacon, slices of tomatoes, sweet marinated red onions and melted mozzarella cheese on store-made, fresh baked bread. Also, picture it being the size of your face, because it is. It’s a marvel and a joy and oh, so delicious. Also delicious was the cucumber slaw, very tart and refreshing. SO GOOD. After that, Suzy stopped at this Thai place to get some to-go for her dinner. She just couldn’t make the trip and skip it.

Well, we didn’t get back by 3. It was more like, oh, 4:30, and I had forgotten my cell phone at home. I had four messages and seven missed calls. Did you ever notice that on the days you forget your cell phone you become popular? This is what seems to happen to me.

Coming up in adventures of weekend-dom: A great concert! Crappy weather! And the afore-mentioned rotten parents! Stay tuned!

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Idol Worship

Here's the problem with American Idol: The audition phase is kind of the best part, because it's before you hear someone kill a song you love, and it's fun to hear people for the first time. But in two hours last night, I think they showed six good singers. In a singing talent show. They showed at least 5 times as many crap ones. It's ridiculous! No one is that into schaedenfraude, are they? I know we like to see things that make us feel better about ourselves, but would we feel so much worse if we actually had to watch people with talent on a talent show? And there's so much making fun just to make fun. It's awful. I guess people like to see that kind of stuff, but what kind of assholes are we that we want to see people get butchered for doing something that we supposedly love? Also, please tell me that it's not possible that so many people are so deluded about where their talents lie. These are people who just want to be on television, right? Not people who actually think they can sing? And their families really don't hate them that much? Because you'd have to hate someone a lot to hear them sound like a goat in a blender and encourage them to audition. So even though I sort of love AI, I think it's making me losing my faith in humanity.

Sub-problem: Ryan Seacrest. He's a robot, right? I mean, no one's really that tan and plasticine, right? I'm afraid.