Year in Review Meme

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?Hmmm… what did I do new this year? I stayed in a bed and breakfast, that was fun!

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don’t recall making resolutions. I had been telling myself that I was going to give up regular soda for New Years, but I know I won’t stick to it. I’m going to set the bar very low and say I’ll exercise
at least 5 minutes 3-4 times a week. I’ll probably still fail. Whatever.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? A bunch of people I knew in high school did. And the Twin will sometime soon, but probably in ’09, unless she goes into labor to spite me for writing this.

4. Did anyone close to you die?My grandma.

5. What countries did you visit? Here… here… here. Fuck, I need to get out more.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? A shitload more money and a car that doesn’t break down every six fucking weeks.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Arbor Day. No, seriously, I have no idea. There will be things to remember, but not a specific day. Maybe January 20, because that’s when Grandma died.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Hmmm… I managed to take care of myself for another full year, which was nice. I’ve sustained a happy relationship, which is also good.

9. What was your biggest failure? Not keeping my apartment clean and not managing my money better.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?Nothing major. The biggest one was falling down in my apartment and skinning the piss out of my elbow. I’d forgotten how bad that shit hurts!

11. What was the best thing you bought? Tickets to see Flogging Molly with Jon.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Jon’s been awesome, despite his insane amounts of stress, and his mom is a lovely person. The Twin for surviving pregnancy! Obama’s, for being awesome, winning, and coming to Indiana a whole bunch. Oh, and Indiana went blue, so that’s pretty awesome!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Sarah god-damn Palin, Stupid ass California’s Prop 8 bull-shit.

14. Where did most of your money go? Away. I wish I could figure it out better.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? I get excited by stupid-ass things, because I’m essentially a six year-old off the ADD meds. But Liss being pregnant is pretty damned awesome, and Jon ponying up and saying he loved me was also a highlight.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008? I’m Yours, Jason Mraz. He’s bad-ass. And anything by Flogging Molly.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer? Probably happier, in all likelihood fatter, and almost definitely poorer. Oh well.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Cleaning, knitting.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Being completely and pointlessly idle.

20. How did you spend Christmas?At my sister’s, then with my dad, then at Benihana with Jon and his mom.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008? Yep, every day.

22. What was your favorite TV program? Countdown, The Daily Show and the Colbert Report. Also Pushing Daisies. (Stupid ABC) And 30 Rock and The Office. I watch too much TV. And Jon and Kate Plus 8.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? You betcha! I didn't even know about Sarah Palin last year. (Sorry, Queen, your answer is too good to get rid of. And also true!)

24. What was the best book you read? The Poisonwood Bible. I also read a lot of good non-fiction, whose names all escape me now.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? Flogging Molly and Ingrid Michealson.

26. What did you want and get? I got another visit to the Wild Animal Park. I think the is the first time I've returned to a place I had vacationed before.

27. What did you want and not get? A lot of money and for my car not to be dead.

28. What was your favorite film of this year? The Dark Knight was pretty awesome, as was Wall-E

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? It rocked, actually, though I had to check my blog to verify it. I got roses from Jon, and the A&E Pride and Prejudice, which I’ve watched three times through, a giant poster to color (which I’m still working on!) and fun books, and had good meals with people I love. I turned 26.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Having more money. Keeping the apartment clean.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? “Is this clean? Have I worn it to work this week?”

32. What kept you sane? The pets, Jon, cable and Zoloft. Also Julie, my counselor.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Barack Obama. Smart is hot.

34. What political issue stirred you the most? The election in general, and Prop 8.

35. Who did you miss? Mary, my grandma, grandpa and Aunt Ruth.

36. Who was the best new person you met? I think my co-worker Ned. I can’t think of other people I’ve met really.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008. I honestly don’t know. I just try to show up every day and be myself as best I can and hope that works for people. My biggest thing I guess would be to express love whenever possible and not hold onto stuff too much.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. “I been spending way too much time checking my tongue in the mirror/and bending over backwards just to try and see clearer.”

Commercials that make me love my DVR

There are certain commercials that, when I see them, I hit my fast forward button immediately, because if I didn't, I'd break my TV. Here are a few examples:
The Glade commercials. Excuse me, the Glah-Day commercials. I know what! My house smells nice and I've been complemented! But oh, no! I bought my candle/air spray at the grocery store, and I'm afraid my friends will think I'm not a big enough asshole if I didn't pay a lot of money for it so I'll lie, only to be busted by obvious product placement, which we'll all laugh about. So we're all big enough assholes! Shut up, stupid Glade commercial.

Male Enhancement ads. I watch Cheaters sometimes because it makes me laugh. And there's a commercial for wiener-growing pills. And this pretty lady reads her lines vacuously and talks about the "size of a certain part of the male body." Because you can't really love a guy with a small dick.

The Sham-wow commercials, or any commercial involving Billy Mays. Hey, Billy. Switch to decaf, and stop yelling. And Sham-wow guy? I know your soul is dying because you're shilling a shop-towel on basic cable, but you're creeping me out. Also, you look douche-tastic. However, I grudgingly admit that the towels seem kind of nifty.

Funny Haha, or Funny Hmmm?

So Bravo just re-aired this list they did of the 100 funniest movies. Some things seem right, and others amiss. Here's what I think. * means I haven't seen it, let me know if it's good enough to go in the Netflix queue.

100 Anchorman--This is really low, considering how funny it is.
99 Birdcage--Love it, would have ranked it higher.
98 School of Rock--Love it, surprised it made the list, though. It's funny but test of time funny? I dunno.
97 Happy Gilmore--I've only seen this through twice, but if nothing else, I'm grateful for "The price is wrong, bitch!"
96 Four Weddings and A Funeral--This movie's terrifically funny, but for some reason I never think of it as a funny movie.
95 Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle*
94 Waiting for Guffman--"Well I just hate you then, and I hate your ass face!" Brilliant.
93 The Aristocrats*
92 Father of the Bride--Cute, but really?
91 Revenge of the Nerds*
90 Clueless--I can recite most of this movie. Seems about right.
89 Slapshot*
88 Team America*
87 Kentucky Fried Movie*
86 Zoolander*
85 Dirty Rotten Scoundrels*
84 Silver Streak*
83 Sister Act--Guilty pleasure.
82 Tootsie--I haven't seen this in forever. I should watch it again.
81 Half Baked*
80 Lost in America*
79 Three Amigos*
78 Bananas*
77 Flirting With Disaster*
76 Ghostbusters--Why is this so low? This is one of the funniest movies I can think of, and it's as funny now as when I was a kid. Way too low on the list.
75 Dumb & Dumber*
74 Trading Places*
73 City Slickers--I like this movie, but it seems a little high to me.
72 Moonstruck*
71 Roxanne*
70 The Nutty Professor--Really? Not that funny to me. For my money, Coming to America is a far better multi-Eddie Murphy movie.
69 Blues Brothers--Too low on the list. This is one of the funniest movies I've ever seen.
68 Broadcast News*
67 King Pin*
66 Dazed and Confused*
65 Office Space--Also seems a bit low, but probably mostly because I relate to and love it so.
64 Spinal Tap--Too low on the list. Mini-Stonehenge! Are you kidding me?
63 Manhattan*
62 The Pink Panther*
61 Election--Reese Witherspoon's brilliant.
60 When Harry Met Sally--This is awfully high on the list, and probably more for the orgasm scene than anything else, which isn't even close to my favorite part of the movie. (Billy Crystal eating seeded grapes in the car. Cracks me up.)
59 Police Academy Series*
58 Private Benjamin*
57 Swingers*
56 Young Frankenstein--Too low on the list. Awesome movie.
55 Bull Durham*
54 Ferris Beuller’s Day Off--Another one I have memorized. Cameron's the best part of that movie, though.
53 Dr. Strangelove*
52 Meet the Parents*
51 National Lampoon’s Vacation--I've only seen this through once, I should maybe watch it again before I judge.
50 The Princess Bride--Can't argue with that.
49 American Pie--Really? Funnier than Young Frankenstein?
48 American Grafitti*
47 9 to 5--Eh. Way high.
46 The Incredibles--I can't argue with this one though I thought I could. It's just adorable, and Edna Mode is my favorite cartoon character ever.
45 Raising Arizona*
44 Sixteen Candles*
43 What About Bob--Oh, Bill Murray. Always funny.
42 Harold & Maude*
41 Austin Powers--Again, higher than Ghostbusters? I don't see that.
40 Monty Python and the Holy Grail--Really should be top 10.
39 Mrs. Doubtfire--I loved this movie, but this seems inordinately high to me.
38 Best in Show--Fred Willard is my king.
37 Dodgeball*
36 Good Morning Vietnam--Again, I never really think of this movie as all that funny.
35 Beetlejuice--Did you know Michael Keaton's only in this for 17 minutes? He was awesome though.
34 Rushmore--Super funny uncomfortable.
33 Clerks--"I'm not even supposed to be here today!"
32 Groundhog Day--This would make my top 10.
31 Big Leobowski--This should be higher, it's hysterical. One of the weirdest, funniest movies I've ever seen.
30 The 40-Year Old Virgin--Loved it. Supporting cast sealed the deal on an already terrific movie. Could easily make my top 10.
29 Legally Blonde--My sister will hate me for this, but I think that's kind of high.
28 Annie Hall*
27 A Fish Called Wanda--Kevin Kline is hysterical. I love this movie.
26 Wayne’s World--Really fun, but again seems high on the list to me.
25 Meet the Fockers*
24 Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure*
23 Big--It seems I think movies that are overly sentimental are ranked too high. I love Big, but I wouldn't put it in the top 25.
22 Beverly Hills Cop*
21 Shampoo*
20 The Jerk*
19 The Wedding Crashers--This was so much better than I thought it would be.
18 Stripes--Bill Murray and Harold Ramis are hilarious off each other.
17 M*A*S*H--Seems pretty high to me, but I've only seen it once.
16 Old School*
15 Fast Times at Ridgemont High*
14 Napoleon Dynamite--Not that I didn't think this movie was funny, but that seems really high to me. (Sorry Chris!)
13 Naked Gun Series--Fair enough.
12 The Producers--That movie is hilarious. God love Mel Brooks.
11 PeeWee’s Big Adventure*
10 Arthur--I love this movie. Guilgood alone gets it high on the list for me.
9 Blazing Saddles--Yep. Awesome movie.
8 The Wedding Singer--This movie is great, but not as funny as Blazing Saddles.
7 Ace Ventura, Pet Detective--Again, you're besting Blazing Saddles and The Producers. I think not.
6 Airplane--Top 5 material. Too funny to be behind Shrek for god's sake.
5 South Park--If only because "Blame Canada" got to be sung at the Oscars, I'm fine with this.
4 There’s Something About Mary--I never really got why this movie was supposed to be the grail of funny. Too high for my money.
3 Shrek--Super cute, no way I'd put it in the top 10.
2 Caddyshack--"It's in the hole!" Love.
1 Animal House*

One very important question, listmakers: Well, two. One, what were you smoking? And two: Where is Real Genius? It not making the list at all is a total crock.

8 Things, Etc.

So Doppelganger is helping me write again, which is awesome. She's insisting that anyone who read her 8 Random Facts supply their own. Perfect to get the brain flexing on a Monday morning!

1. You know those giant mascot costumes? I had to wear one once. I was being Arthur the Anteater for my mom as part of a book promotion thing. It paid like $8 an hour and I was in high school so it sounded great. The problem is kids are evil to people in costumes, with poking and kicking and saying mean things, and you aren't allowed to say shit. Arthur thought seriously about going on a killing spree those three or four days.
2. I don't eat cheese by itself. This seems really odd to people, as I love grilled cheese and cheese on stuff, but I just... can't get behind eating it solo. It's probably textural, most of my food things are. But I really need to get over it, because it makes me a bitch to please at cocktail parties, etc. Oh, and I also can't stand macaroni and cheese. Bleh.
3. My mom was super-duper over-protective. I wasn't allowed to ride my bike in the street (in a suburban neighborhood) until I was 14. I wasn't allowed to walk to the library (which was literally across the street) by myself until I was like, 13, and even then I had to take a pager so she could get a hold of me, and I had a time limit.
4. I was like every other young girl in the world at one point and wanted to be a ballerina. My mom told me I couldn't be a ballerina because I was going to end up getting really big boobs, and I insisted that I wasn't ever going to have those. I was so wrong as to be hysterical. But really, my mom should have just told me no because I had flat feet.
5. I like ranch salad dressing on so much stuff as to probably branch into gross. I particularly like it with meatloaf, which tends to gack out everyone around me. At least I don't put ketchup on my turkey like my brother-in-law! And it's got to be Hidden Valley. Nothing else tastes right.
6. I'm afraid of birds, which is one of my go-to oddities. I'm working on being less afraid, but wing-flapping scares the hell out of me.
7. When I was a kid, I wanted to be the following professions: lawyer (because I watched LA Law with my parents), actor/singer, marine biologist, President, writer. All things I still like, but none what I ultimately plan on doing.
8. I'm really good at massage, and am so far self-taught. I want to get certified, though, so I can use it as a way to supplement my income. How awesome would it be to have a therapist who's also good at massage? I joke about it, but really, that might be a profitable career path...

Also, because I watched a fair amount of Inside the Actor's Studio over the weekend, I keep thinking about that survey from the end (you know, the one by Ber-nard Pe-VOT. I love James Lipton.) and have decided to answer it as well, so I can be prepared if the need arises.

What is your favorite word?
"Bulbous" because of the way it makes my sister laugh.

What is your least favorite word?
I hate the word "moist". It gacks me out.

What is your favorite curse word?
Bollocks. Though I say "fuck" far more frequently.

What sound or noise do you love?
Running water, great music, or genuine laughter.

What sound or noise do you hate?
Sirens really hurt my ears. I also hate the sound of parents speaking harshly to their kids, it makes me really anxious.

What turns you on or excites you?
Things that allow me to be funny, to think, or to do things for other people. Great music, or books or conversation.

What turns you off?
Small-mindedness and bigotry. People who don't listen to each other. Excessive egotism.

What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?
Well, we'll assume that my intended profession is out of the way, since I plan on being a counselor. I really do love performing, so any setting that would allow that.

What profession other than yours would you not like to attempt?
Anything that's excessively paper-pushy or mind-numbing. I need something that makes me think and really allows me to be creative and helpful. An Office Space type job would probably destroy my soul.

And finally, if Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"Good enough."

If you've read this, consider yourself tagged for one or both!

The DJ of my Brain

The lovely and talented Doppelganger over at 50 Books, is requesting that we honestly list the soundtrack that plays in my head. This is going to be humiliating, and also awesome.

1. “Girlfriend” or whatever that new piece of shit Avril Lavigne song is. It gets in my head because I think of songs that I fucking hate and there it goes.
2. “Lips of an Angel” – Hinder. See Number 1 re: Songs I Hate.
3. “Call Me Al” – Paul Simon. This is my bounce in my chair song. I always feel happier when it’s playing.
4. “Before He Cheats” – Carrie Underwood. Don’t love this song, don’t hate it. It’s on the radio a lot.
5. “Never is Enough” – Barenaked Ladies. Huh, interesting. I thought, “What BNL song goes in?” and that was the very first thing to pop into my mind. I haven’t listened to that song in ages.
6. “For You” – BNL. Now I’m going to be on a BNL roll for a minute.
7. “Call and Answer” – BNL.
8. “Demons” – Guster. That was the first Guster song to come to mind. Love it.
9. “Manifest Destiny” – Guster. Again with the awesome.
10. “Either Way” – Guster. Go buy some Guster. Now.
11. “Winter” – Tori Amos. One of my top favorite songs by Tori or anyone else.
12. “Time After Time” – Cyndi Lauper and Sarah McLachlan. If you haven’t heard this version yet, it kicks ass.
13. “When You Come Back Down” – Nickel Creek. The mandolin rocks me out of my shoes.
14. “Man of Constant Sorrow” – Foggy Bottom Boys. Well that’s random and also excellent.
15. “Never Again” – Kelly Clarkson. I love her to a degree that embarrasses me.

What’s playing in your head? Leave a comment.

All I Do is Watch Movies and Shit (with Bonus Book List!)

Seriously, all I can do in here is write about movies I'm seeing and pop-culture I'm consuming. Honest to god, I do real things, like read books and talk about politics and care about the environment and shit, I swear. I just got out of a meeting about totally important international things that I'm not allowed to talk about yet, but will when I can because it's pretty awesome.

And yet yere I shall regurgitate more of my opinions on movies and stuff for you. Oh well!

Amadeus
Believe it or not, I've never seen this movie before. I guess it's not that big a stretch, but given how much I love music and movies it's kind of ridiculous. Anyway, I watched this DVD at my friend Jen's house last Friday and love!

First off, let's talk about Salieri, played by F. Murray Abraham. (Now I get the joke from Last Action Hero, and DO NOT JUDGE ME for seeing and liking that movie.) I could totally relate to the part of this man who knows just enough about music and composing to know that his work is nothing compared to Mozart's. He looks at Mozart's compositions, and he feels like God Himself is composing through Mozart. Being great at music is all Salieri ever wanted, what he promised to God that he would devote his life to, and here's this guy, this raunchy, crass, hilarious genius who has more talent in one of his slightly pink wigs than Salieri has in his entire being. Now, a normal plot would have Salieri jealous of Mozart, but he quickly goes beyond that, determining that God must have a personal vendetta against him, which He flaunts through Mozart. Abraham's playing a character that's HELLA unstable, and he's sympathetic and repellant at the same time, because I can see what a slippery slope it is between jealousy and out and out madness.

Tom Hulce plays Mozart. Can I just get it out of my system really quick that he kind of looks like Chad Lowe? Because it's been distracting me, but now that it's said I feel we can move on. I loved the way he played Mozart. He came off as so child-like to me. Really, he is just a large, precocious child. The gift that he has is as elementary as walking to him, which is why he doesn't seem to get it when continually insults Salieri. He has no concept of how hard it is for most people. Also, he comes across as someone who really just needs people to like him. He seems so insecure, probably because his father so disapproves of him, and particularly with Salieri, all his actions seem to cry out "Look Dad! Look what I can do! Did you see? Did you see me, Dad?" There's just this desperation to be recognized which is kind of mind-blowing considering the guy also has an ego the size of Montana. Hulce was really terrific in the role.

The movie all around is terrific, but there were a few scenes that I thought were particularly amazing, none more so than near the end, where Salieri is helping Mozart with his Requiem. Now, stop reading if you haven't seen and want to see it. Go on, we'll wait. Skip to the book list.

Still with me? Excellent. So Salieri has plotted to drive Mozart to compose the Requiem, and further, plans for Mozart to die and take credit for it as his tribute at the funeral. (How exactly Mozart is supposed to die is murky to Salieri, but he ends up having that taken care of for him, since Mozart basically drives himself into the ground.) Mozart is lying in his bed, racked with fever, but desperate for money and to finish his piece. He's too weak to write, and so Salieri sits at the end of the bed and takes dictation. Mozart is explaining exactly how he wants things to sound, from the chorus to the bassoons and strings. Salieri is just struggling to keep up, and Mozart keeps losing his patience with him. But Salieri's sitting there, writing out this music, and he knows it's genius, and he knows it's not his, but in that moment, he's too busy experiencing this composition coming together to focus on his hate for Mozart, and you can see him getting completely drunk from it, and it's just beautiful.

The whole cast does a great job, and I was especially fond of Jeffrey Jones as Emperor Joseph and Elizabeth Berridge as Stanzi, but really, it's the interaction of Salieri and Mozart that I couldn't tear myself away from. If you haven't seen it yet, Netflix it, it's totally worth it and doesn't at all feel like three hours.

Books I have Lied About Reading
(Suggested by Doppelganger over at 50 Books)

The Grapes of Wrath
Man, we were supposed to read this in high school, and I just hated it. Steinbeck is super-depressing, he totally kills my soul. I read bits and pieces, but honestly, I mostly Cliffnotesed (or rather, Sparknotesed) it. And frankly, I don't think I'm missing that much.

Crime and Punishment
I couldn't get past the first page of this one. Seriously. I totally just read the Cliffnotes and read other people's discussions. Let me know if I missed something great, but I somehow doubt it. (I know, it's great literature, wankity-blah, but I just don't care.)

The Great Gatsby
I have read this now, but I did not actually read it the first time it was assigned to me, which was in high school. I should have just read it because it was really well-done, but Gatsby and Daisy just got on my nerves in high school.

The Reef, and The Age of Innocence
These were assigned in an Austen/Wharton class I took a few semesters ago. At the time, I didn't feel like I had time to read them, but they're on my to-do list now. I really did like The House of Mirth, even though it was a drag.

Emma
Another for the Austen/Wharton class. I'm reading it now, though, and I really like it, though it's kind of slow-going. Emma's kind of a hard character to like for most of the book, isn't she? It helps that I know Clueless was based on it, though, so I know she gets better. (Although Cher was always great.)

Tom Sawyer, Huck Finn
I was supposed to read these for a summer children's lit class and didn't. I feel like they're ones I'll get around to, but I'm not in a hurry for it.

I can't think of a clever/pithy way to end this, so... bye!

Books a Man Has Given Me That Made Me Swear NEVER to Go on Another Date with Him EVER Again

Doppelganger over at 50 Books is doing lists of books this year. Huzzah! I love lists. See the subject line for today for the topic of the first list. Off we go.

• The Kama Sutra. Dude? It's called subtlety. Get some.
• Anything by Chuck Paluhniuk. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy Paluhniuk. But Fight Club and such? Are pretty violent, messed-up books. If a guy gave me that, I'd have no choice but to wonder why, and as such would obsess and come to the conclusion that the guy was a Tyler Durden, and then I'd be bummed that he didn't look like Brad Pitt and I'd be paranoid, so... thanks for playing, we're done.
• A Star Trek Book. Or Star Wars for that matter. Pretty much anything involving galactic civil war. I'm not a geek hater. My ex-boyfriend loves and works in comics for god's sake and I've been known to adore certain ones as well. Y The Last Man, for instance, is a great series, as is anything by Judd Winick and Jhonen Vasquez. I'll even watch the Star [insert subject] movies with you. But if you think I'm going to read that kind of stuff? Nope. Sorry!
• The Catcher in the Rye. Look, I'm sure it's a great book. I've been told it is, but I read it and hated it, and if you give it to me, I'm going to assume you relate to Holden, and then I'll start to hate you. So thanks, but no thanks.

It would take a lot to be a deal-breaker, but I think I can say with confidence, those would definitely break the deal. What would yours be?