C.R.A.P.

The Swell Season featuring Jason Segel - Nov 18, 2009

2009-11-25T11:50:00.001-05:00

Oh, Marshall, you're the best!

I have nothing amusing to say...

2009-10-30T20:32:00.001-05:00

But maybe breaking my non-writing streak will help me come up with things?

I'm babysitting Alex and another kid right now, and they're playing some cat game on the Wii. I'm still pretty sure they'll both turn out straight.

random notes

2009-06-25T21:48:00.000-05:00

Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett and now Michael effing Jackson? (Not to mention David Carradine less than a month ago, which I am still attributing to the five-point palm exploding heart technique.) Ok, Death, you can piss off now. Not that I am emotionally invested in any of these people, but MJ especially represents my childhood! Thriller still scares me and I'm 27! Too weird. Godspeed, dead people.

The heat. This is August weather. We haven't had pleasant summer yet. I have no air conditioning in my car. This weather can officially suck it.

Speaking of suck it, Don't ask, don't tell can go right ahead as well. If you're willing to get shot at defending our country, you should be allowed to stick it in whomever you want as long as you both consent and are old enough to do so. I'm deeply sick of bigotry. If you must have Don't Ask, make it for the straights too. Oh, they're not expected to be asexual because they like people with opposite genitals. It's bullshit.

And finally, I hope and pray for the people in Iran, that thet find justice and peace soon.

This is what you get when I don't blog for so long!

Hee!

2009-05-11T08:15:00.002-05:00

Regarding the President's speech at the White House Correspondence Dinner:

Mr. President, I love you.

Seriously, go to Youtube, it's phenomenal!

Side note: Jon and I have officially been dating two years. Squee!

Susan Boyle - Singer - Britains Got Talent 2009

2009-04-13T09:27:00.001-05:00

Man, I'd forgotten how much I love "I Dreamed a Dream." Good on this lady!

Faith

2009-03-18T15:15:00.001-05:00

There’s something that’s been bouncing around my mind a lot for the last few days, and it’s something I feel pretty strongly about, so I’m gonna be serious for a few minutes about it.

Most people know me know that I was raised Catholic, and got 12 years of Catholic education. I never went through Confirmation, but you can’t be raised in an environment like that without finding yourself identifying with it, especially because my mother’s mother was a practicing Catholic who sent her own kids to Catholic school.

Initially, faith wasn’t a complicated thing for me, and I wanted it to be. I remember in sixth grade our teacher told us that questioning our faith was a way of showing growth and maturity. And I specifically remember sitting on the porch swing on a beautiful day and thinking, “Well, what if it’s not true? What if we’re wrong and other Christians are right?” and various thoughts of that nature. But I distinctly remember thinking, “I’m doing this because I’m told I’m supposed to, not because I really doubt my religion. God is real and I’m Catholic, that’s that.” I was even an altar girl, and I loved it. I remember the Masses I would serve, and making it a point to stand straight with my hands folded at my waist, to kneel nicely and not sit back on my legs like I would do in the pew, and to bow deeply and respectfully before the altar, because I wanted God to see me doing my best. Plus I got to play with the big candle lighter, which was fun, and the priest, Father Tom, was super nice and every so often, servers would get to go have pizza in the rectory or even get out of class to serve a funeral Mass. I also remember watching the consecration of the Host very earnestly. I would try to picture the Holy Spirit coming down from the beautiful domed mural above the altar and entering the bread and wine. Being all of 10 or a little older, I didn’t know the Catholic Church’s position on transubstantiation, or if I did it was very easy to accept. And I always thought one day I’d be able to see it, or feel it, or tell the difference in some way, but I’m not sure I ever did. But my bridge with the Church hadn’t even started yet. That waited for high school.

It might have been partly because of my ADD. I always felt bad during Mass because even on my best day there was no way I could keep myself focused on the ritual and being prayerful the entire hour. I fell asleep one year at Easter Mass during the homily, but that was a rarity. Usually, I just fidgeted and let my mind drift, and would feel guilty when that would happen. I wanted to feel close to God, why couldn’t I just pay attention? And Mass in high school was in a gym with about 800 other kids, so it was easy to sit with a group of friends and mostly mess around. Of course, some of my friends got into Wicca and Buddhism, and I read about both and even tried a little Wicca on by way of reading books, but was never really able to follow through much. But there were elements of both I either understood or liked. For instance, spell casting in Wicca just seemed to me a very active form of prayer, an extra element of control. Our senior year Christian Living teacher led us through meditation in class on Fridays, and I liked that as well. I had a couple of friends who were very in love with their faith, something that always gave me a stirring of envy, but I didn’t seem to get the same feeling they did in the little chapel, even though I wanted it.

After high school, and a funeral Mass for a friend, the first Mass I went to was when John Paul II was dying. He’d always seemed like a good, kind man, and as any kind of Catholic, I wanted to go to be a part of a community to acknowledge his passing. And I was glad I went. But I didn’t feel compelled to start going to Mass regularly as a result.

Then, a couple of years ago, during Lent, I decided to really throw myself in and give it another try. One of my work friends was being confirmed and given First Communion at the Easter Vigil, and our co-worker, another convert, had that spark I remembered from my friend in high school, and I wanted it. I went to Mass every Sunday during Lent, and tried to pray the rosary every day. I thought, “God, if this is where you want me to be, show me. Help me feel it, because I want to find the right place for me.” I was hoping God would flash me a big old neon sign and make it obvious, because apparently I’m not that observant in these matters. At the Easter Vigil, I knelt and cried, and prayed, “Alright, God, I’ve got nothing to offer you right now but my brokenness, but if you want it, it’s yours.” I felt better thinking that, but I didn’t feel that revelatory “This is where I belong” feeling I’d been hoping for.

Depending on how you look at it, there are a lot of reasons for that. Catholics might say I’m stubborn, since I don’t accept the whole Catechism and teaching of the Church. I’m pro-Choice, though I hope to never have to make that decision for myself, and am thoroughly in favor of birth control. I’m pro-gay marriage. I’m your typical bleeding-heart liberal. I know there are people like me in the Church, but I find it so frustrating because I want to find a place where I feel like the people around me believe like I do and not like a fraud. And I don’t want to change those beliefs necessarily. It’s not that I don’t want to be open to that inner voice. It’s that I have a really hard time in believing in a God that would create all of us as imperfect creatures, who is supposed to be like a parent to us, but will only love us if we do things His way. Or, correction, He’ll love us, but He’ll still choose to separate us from Him forever if we don’t get it right.

Dating an atheist hasn’t been easy all the time either, as a person with a background of religion if not a working location for it. There are lots of logical reasons not to believe in a God. It certainly simplifies things. Stuff just happens, the whys are all scientifically linked, and there’s meaning to be found in that, too. I like the idea that the molecules that make up me will go be a part of things forever, regardless of what happens to my soul when I die. The easiest thing in the world to do would be to just let logic explain everything, and stop thinking so much about the rest of it.

But I can’t.

Because deep down, in my heart of hearts, I do believe in something. I believe that God, or whatever you want to call him/her/it, has been with me in my worst moments. There have been a few personal instances where I felt God hear me and make doors open in my life that needed to open. Many times have I been outside on a beautiful day and felt overwhelmingly grateful to whatever it is that caused all this to be and caused me to be there to appreciate it. I’ve seen love and compassion from others that was like being able to see a part of what God is like. And the philosophy that I’ve come to in myself and am trying to make work with the part of my brain that’s programmed to follow rules is this: There is no wrong. (I feel guilty even typing that. Catholicism runs deep!) If God is infinite and created the entire universe and each and every one of us, wouldn’t it make sense that there would have to be a lot of ways to figure who He is and how to get to Him? And even more importantly, don’t we do more to honor whatever God it is we love and serve by being loving and compassionate towards others? What kind of God do you believe in that wants you to list His grievances to the rest of the world? Don’t you do more to show God by being someone who thinks and learns and loves and screws up and goes back and starts again?

Maybe it’s true that I’m rationalizing my desire to be a heathen, or whatever. Maybe I’m totally wrong and God disapproves of everything I’m saying. And if that’s the case, I’m trying to be open. But I really wish churches spent more time making people feel like they wanted them there and value them as they are and less time making them feel like they get everything wrong.* And that’s my long-winded, non-coherent religious ramble.

*ETA: If you stop by and read this, say hi and let me know if you feel similarly or can see where I'm coming from. It would be nice to feel less lonely. :)

*Hat tip to Revolution Church for being the kind of Church I’m describing. If I’m ever in New York, that’s where I’ll go!

Notes om The Amazing Race 14

2009-02-16T19:42:00.000-05:00

Mike and Mel are freaking awesome. They can stay forever.

Preston and Jennifer may irritate me, but I totally laughed when Preston said, "I don't even like cheese. In fact, I may never eat cheese again." It's kind of a bummer to eliminate a team first week before you can really tell how a team is gonna be.

Phil signing "You are team number 1" was freaking adorable. So deliberate, and so "Look what I learned!"

I usually like the rednecks, but I'm iffy about this season's iteration of them. Points, however, for acknowledging the eyebrow of dubiousness.

Brad and Victoria are hilarious. "You should totally be jealous of me." Sweetheart, you just jumped 70 storeys. I would be grateful, not jealous. *shudder*

I'm so glad the race is back on!

Trays Romanteek!

2009-02-13T14:26:00.001-05:00

This story and accompanying comments are pretty cool. I even added one!

Spifftastic

2009-02-11T12:04:00.002-05:00

This kind of stuff makes me unreasonably happy. Random interaction is freaking awesome.

A Tip for the Guys

2009-02-10T14:23:00.003-05:00

I don't know if any guys read this, or at this point even if anyone reads this (which I couldn't blame them for, sweet baby James I've been a shitty blogger lately), but if they do, as the commercial festival of love approaches, I'd just like to emphasize one point that I think guys often overlook. (Damn, that was a wordy and poorly constructed sentence!) Here's the tip, the greatest way to make your girl think the sun shines out of your ass even if you leave the toilet seat up:

It's all about small gestures.

More than big, shiny gifts (which we like) or expensive dinners (which we also like), girls like most to feel that someone cares enough to do little things for no reason. Jon stopped by when he was on-campus yesterday and left a bag of Hershey's Kisses on my car seat because he knows they're my favorite. And it just still makes me smile because it's just so sweet. It showed he was thinking of me and that he wanted to let me know that.

I'm not saying don't do Valentine's Day or whatever. I'm just saying it's way more meaningful to drop a $3 bag of candy on her chair every so often.

Just a tip!

My Nephew is GORGEOUS

2009-01-29T15:35:00.001-05:00

See? The second picture is my favorite so far. :)

A Happy Sight

2009-01-21T10:32:00.002-05:00

Regarding Prop 8

2009-01-05T13:49:00.001-05:00

If this doesn't break your heart, I might wonder if you have one.

Year in Review Meme

2008-12-31T11:37:00.001-05:00

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?Hmmm… what did I do new this year? I stayed in a bed and breakfast, that was fun!

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don’t recall making resolutions. I had been telling myself that I was going to give up regular soda for New Years, but I know I won’t stick to it. I’m going to set the bar very low and say I’ll exercise
at least 5 minutes 3-4 times a week. I’ll probably still fail. Whatever.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? A bunch of people I knew in high school did. And the Twin will sometime soon, but probably in ’09, unless she goes into labor to spite me for writing this.

4. Did anyone close to you die?My grandma.

5. What countries did you visit? Here… here… here. Fuck, I need to get out more.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? A shitload more money and a car that doesn’t break down every six fucking weeks.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Arbor Day. No, seriously, I have no idea. There will be things to remember, but not a specific day. Maybe January 20, because that’s when Grandma died.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Hmmm… I managed to take care of myself for another full year, which was nice. I’ve sustained a happy relationship, which is also good.

9. What was your biggest failure? Not keeping my apartment clean and not managing my money better.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?Nothing major. The biggest one was falling down in my apartment and skinning the piss out of my elbow. I’d forgotten how bad that shit hurts!

11. What was the best thing you bought? Tickets to see Flogging Molly with Jon.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Jon’s been awesome, despite his insane amounts of stress, and his mom is a lovely person. The Twin for surviving pregnancy! Obama’s, for being awesome, winning, and coming to Indiana a whole bunch. Oh, and Indiana went blue, so that’s pretty awesome!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Sarah god-damn Palin, Stupid ass California’s Prop 8 bull-shit.

14. Where did most of your money go? Away. I wish I could figure it out better.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? I get excited by stupid-ass things, because I’m essentially a six year-old off the ADD meds. But Liss being pregnant is pretty damned awesome, and Jon ponying up and saying he loved me was also a highlight.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008? I’m Yours, Jason Mraz. He’s bad-ass. And anything by Flogging Molly.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer? Probably happier, in all likelihood fatter, and almost definitely poorer. Oh well.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Cleaning, knitting.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Being completely and pointlessly idle.

20. How did you spend Christmas?At my sister’s, then with my dad, then at Benihana with Jon and his mom.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008? Yep, every day.

22. What was your favorite TV program? Countdown, The Daily Show and the Colbert Report. Also Pushing Daisies. (Stupid ABC) And 30 Rock and The Office. I watch too much TV. And Jon and Kate Plus 8.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? You betcha! I didn't even know about Sarah Palin last year. (Sorry, Queen, your answer is too good to get rid of. And also true!)

24. What was the best book you read? The Poisonwood Bible. I also read a lot of good non-fiction, whose names all escape me now.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? Flogging Molly and Ingrid Michealson.

26. What did you want and get? I got another visit to the Wild Animal Park. I think the is the first time I've returned to a place I had vacationed before.

27. What did you want and not get? A lot of money and for my car not to be dead.

28. What was your favorite film of this year? The Dark Knight was pretty awesome, as was Wall-E

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? It rocked, actually, though I had to check my blog to verify it. I got roses from Jon, and the A&E Pride and Prejudice, which I’ve watched three times through, a giant poster to color (which I’m still working on!) and fun books, and had good meals with people I love. I turned 26.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Having more money. Keeping the apartment clean.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? “Is this clean? Have I worn it to work this week?”

32. What kept you sane? The pets, Jon, cable and Zoloft. Also Julie, my counselor.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Barack Obama. Smart is hot.

34. What political issue stirred you the most? The election in general, and Prop 8.

35. Who did you miss? Mary, my grandma, grandpa and Aunt Ruth.

36. Who was the best new person you met? I think my co-worker Ned. I can’t think of other people I’ve met really.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008. I honestly don’t know. I just try to show up every day and be myself as best I can and hope that works for people. My biggest thing I guess would be to express love whenever possible and not hold onto stuff too much.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. “I been spending way too much time checking my tongue in the mirror/and bending over backwards just to try and see clearer.”

No on Prop 8 Video

2008-12-03T13:02:00.002-05:00

This is hilarious!

On another note, how does one embed a video, if it's not from Youtube and therefore idiot proof?

Review: Atonement

2008-11-27T09:29:00.000-05:00

What a good movie! I shouldn't be surprised, it got excellent reviews. It's funny, Keira Knightley is a good actress, but I never really appreciate that until I'm watching something she's in. Although I still think she needs a sandwich. But performance-wise, she was really good, and didn't overdue it with weepiness and such. And James McAvoy was really excellent as well, and super hot to boot!

The visuals in the movie are quite lovely, too, from Knightley's beautiful emerald gown to the distopic image of the Ferris Wheel idly spinning on the beach as men bled and ships burned. But what I really liked was the sound motifs. The tapping of the typewriter, the scratching of matches and metallic ring of lighters, used to set a cadence for various scenes. This is one of those times where everything, the visuals and sounds and performances, made the movie come together. I really liked it.

An awfully depressing movie for Thanksgiving morning, but I'm following it up with Little Children, so that ought to perk things up. *snerk*

Unintended Effect

2008-11-26T10:20:00.002-05:00

I am an unapologetic carnivore, and I found this game hilarious.

Sorry PETA! No tofurkey for me!

Happy Thanksgiving, Homies!

Lethal Cute!

2008-11-24T10:28:00.001-05:00

*snort*

Prop 8 Special Comment

2008-11-14T08:49:00.001-05:00

I swear, I'm not gonna be all politics all the time, but Olbermann says more here about fighting Prop 8 than I ever could.

It makes me want to make out with him, or a chick, or whatever.

You've always wanted to know...

2008-11-12T21:44:00.000-05:00

Who's on match.com. And we want you to know, it's generally women who giggle for no reason incessantly. Or sing opera scales poorly. Men? Whatever. Though people who use this site are more women than men, we thought you should know. Giggling women.

Fucking commercials.

an entirely apolitical post!

2008-11-06T20:03:00.000-05:00

Dear Wal-Mart,

Christmas music in the stores already? Is that really necessary? This is the reason I end up hating Christmas music. Please fucking stop before I convert to Judaism to justify my despisal. (That may not be a real word, but it's how much I hate the utter infiltration of Christmas commerce.)

Bah Humbug, you jerks!
Angie

YES WE CAN!!

2008-11-05T10:22:00.002-05:00

What an amazing feeling. I can't wait to see what we can make of this.

Edited to Add: Congratulations and Kudos to Senator McCain for speaking and acting with such grace last night. The other party is never the enemy, and Senator McCain loves America, too.

Commencing with the breath-holding

2008-11-04T18:51:00.001-05:00

Come on, results! I need to know! *taps elbow crook for a vein*

I need information!

ahem

2008-11-03T18:53:00.000-05:00

On this, the eve of a truly historic election, I'd like to put two things out there:

1. I hope that Senator Obama's grandmother rests peacefully, knowing that her grandson has done so much good even before the vote counts are in.

2. Jesus was a liberal community organizer. I'm just saying.

Commercials that make me love my DVR

2008-11-02T11:30:00.000-05:00

There are certain commercials that, when I see them, I hit my fast forward button immediately, because if I didn't, I'd break my TV. Here are a few examples:
The Glade commercials. Excuse me, the Glah-Day commercials. I know what! My house smells nice and I've been complemented! But oh, no! I bought my candle/air spray at the grocery store, and I'm afraid my friends will think I'm not a big enough asshole if I didn't pay a lot of money for it so I'll lie, only to be busted by obvious product placement, which we'll all laugh about. So we're all big enough assholes! Shut up, stupid Glade commercial.

Male Enhancement ads. I watch Cheaters sometimes because it makes me laugh. And there's a commercial for wiener-growing pills. And this pretty lady reads her lines vacuously and talks about the "size of a certain part of the male body." Because you can't really love a guy with a small dick.

The Sham-wow commercials, or any commercial involving Billy Mays. Hey, Billy. Switch to decaf, and stop yelling. And Sham-wow guy? I know your soul is dying because you're shilling a shop-towel on basic cable, but you're creeping me out. Also, you look douche-tastic. However, I grudgingly admit that the towels seem kind of nifty.

Good Lord

2008-11-01T16:17:00.000-05:00

I babysat five nights this week, including right now. The little girls I watch are twelve, eight and five. They are good, smart and funny kids.
And sweet baby jeebus they're driving me crazy. Actually, the five year-old is fine, and today's the only day I've watched her. Eight, by far, is the one who bugs me the most. She repeats everything. I've actually started limiting the number of times she's allowed to repeat phrases. Also, she whines about everything. Last night she whined about her candy bag being too full! What a crock! And the shrieking and scream laugh. And being so irritated by these things makes me feel like a horrible person, because she's a little girl. But dear god, so irritating.
And Twelve? She's usually my girl, but I must tell you this: I never want to hear about the Twilight books again. She's read two of them this week and it is ALL she talks about to the point where I hate the books, I hate the author, and I may even hate vampires now.
In short? Babysitting makes me cranky and in need of a nap.

Happy Halloween Homies

2008-10-31T12:52:00.003-05:00

Check this out. It's a really good web comic, and a really compelling arc on hell houses. This is why I have so much trouble with faith sometimes, because it makes people act in awful ways to each other.

awesome

2008-10-29T13:56:00.002-05:00

In case there was any doubt, I voted for the guy who even listens to little kids like this. Photo op? Maybe, but I've never felt more like a politician might be sincere more.

(Photo respectfully borrowed from here.)

liberty and shtuff

2008-10-28T12:02:00.000-05:00

I voted yesterday, hurray! I got such a good feeling coloring in that little black dot for President and feeling like I was contributing to the Process. And better yet, the early voting office was busy and full! And you know, I hope to 10000 times that my guy wins, but I also really appreciate that people are participating, and making a decision. I don't necessarily agree with people's reasoning, but thank God we're in a country where they can make their choice and I can make mine! /End corniness.

to invent:

2008-10-21T12:02:00.000-05:00

A yogurt carton that does not spit on me when opening it. Humph!

A little fella getting excited about lobsters

2008-10-17T08:20:00.001-05:00

Sweet googly moogly, let my nephew be this damn cute.

joys of re-reading

2008-10-15T21:25:00.000-05:00

Because it's relaxing, I'm re-reading To Kill a Mockingbird. I've decided that when I start a band some day I'm naming it the Absolute Morphodite. Sweet.
(if you don't get it, read the book. So worth it!)

Warmest of Fuzzies

2008-10-13T09:50:00.001-05:00

Check out this sweet, sweet video of a soldier being greeted by his dogs coming home from Iraq. I totally cried. Dogs are awesome, and so's this guy.

Betty White calls Sarah Palin a

2008-10-10T15:27:00.001-05:00

This is some seriously funny shit, regardless of your politics!

Funny to me? Or funny?

2008-09-22T11:28:00.002-05:00

If I made a "Masochists for McCain" t-shirt, would that be amusing? I was thinking about putting under it "Because we love the pain!"

Maybe it's one of those things that's more funny in my head.

Oh! And look what I got myself at Irish Fest!

It's pretty, no? :)

i can has best boyfriend!

2008-09-20T03:39:00.000-05:00

So I'm sleeping over at Jon's tonight, like I do every weekend, and I wake up with the worst headache, and decide it must be the pillows or something, because this is the second time that's happened. So Jon's in the living room with the dogs, (we don't usually sleep together, because the dogs would lick me all night and keep me awake. And when he sleeps he's a messed up kid's book: The Little Furnace that Snored. Oh, and I'm a cover hog that usually ends up with as much blanket bunched by my face as I have twined around me.) and he's obviously fallen asleep while using his computer, and his head keeps lolling gently. Well, as I gently wake him, I can see what he's been doing online. Porn? No. Homework? Nope! News? Huh-uh. Icanhascheezburger? That's the ticket! And now I shall take my sleepy headache and be unconscious.

Stupid Jokes

2008-09-16T13:38:00.003-05:00

Jon was on a dumb joke-telling kick this weekend. Here are my favorites:

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? (Highlight the white text just after the parenthases.) Dr. Dre.
Two cows are standing in a field and looking up at the sky, and one cow says, "Man, this mad cow disease sounds pretty serious." The second cow says, "Yeah, but it's cool. I'm a helicopter!"
What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

I'm apparently a big fan of the jokes for the four year-old crowd. Heh.

An Open Invitation to Craig Ferguson

2008-09-12T10:35:00.001-05:00

Hi Craig! Would you like to have sex with me? That'd be awesome.
Seriously, this video is awesome. The election is less than two months away!

Well...

2008-09-11T17:26:00.001-05:00

It's a boy! Tyler Nicholas is due around January 22! I'm going to have a nephew!!!

Towering

2008-09-11T13:13:00.002-05:00

Nothing I could say about today could be said as eloquently as it is here. My heart is in New York today!

Baby update after 3:30, which is the time of my sis's doc appointment!

Awwww x1,000

2008-09-10T16:00:00.001-05:00

This video is super cute. I'm kind of in love with both of them!

Coming up tomorrow: Gender of niecephew announced!!!! Yes, I'm the only one who really cares, but still. It's my very first niecephew.

Cheers!

After this, I'll shut up about politics for a while

2008-09-09T13:47:00.002-05:00

Ok, just in case there's anyone who looks at or reads my blog who's not going to vote, or is thinking about voting, or whatever, I'm just going to spell out why I'm voting the way I am in November. You can figure out for yourself who I'm voting for by my priorities. If your priorities are similar, maybe you could kick a couple bucks to the campaign. This election is extremely important and I don't really want my heart broken again!

So. Things that are important to me:

Equality for all people who are in love. Neither candidate is where I would like them to be on this, but one candidate gets a lot closer to where we should be going than the other. Any two persons, regardless of gender, should be allowed to get married and have the legal rights of spouses.
Choice. I hope to god I am never in the position where I would need to decide whether or not to have an abortion, but I don't feel comfortable making that decision for anyone else, and I don't think the government should either.
The war. Like it or not, we're in it now, and we need to get out in the cleanest and most fair way possible. However, transparency must be the name of the game in future administrations, and agendas should be made based on the good of the country, not on the good of the few. And Americans should never be asked to give their lives based on lies.

There are lots of other reasons I'll vote the way I will, but those are the big ones, and things I really, really care about. Seriously, if you haven't, please do some research on the candidates and make decisions based on facts and not fear. We've had enough fear-mongering masquerading as politics, and I'm sick of it. I hope you are, too.

Interesting Observation

2008-09-08T13:19:00.003-05:00

This was my friend Scott's status message on Facebook this weekend:

"It seems to me Jesus was a community organizer and Pontious Pilate was a governor."

Snerk.

I don't care if you're religious or not, that's funny. Not that Obama is Jesus, by any stretch, but seriously Palin, back off.

Calling Bullshit

2008-09-04T15:32:00.002-05:00

Total Population of Alaska: 670,053.

Total Population of Chicago: 2,833,321.

Hey Governor Palin: I bet it's harder to organize community projects in a city of almost 3 million than it is to govern an entire state that's less than a quarter of a million. So please don't wag that around as your proof of experience. It makes you look silly.

Just an FYI.

Hypocrisy

2008-09-03T15:16:00.002-05:00

Listen, it's not that I think the whole country should get their panties in a big wad because Governor and VP-nominee Sarah Pailin's daughter is pregnant. They shouldn't. But what I am finding very hard to stomach is the Republican party thinking that it has the right to call the subject entirely off-limits. If Governor Pailin was a Democrat, and was Obama's nominee, you bet your sweet-ass that at the very least Faux News would be having talking-heads blabbering on about family fucking values. Let's call a spade a spade here: according to Republicans, if a liberal family's kid gets knocked up, it's because there are no family values being taught and the parents aren't participating and kids are pretty much handed a condom at puberty's onset and left to their own devices. But if a conservative family's kid turns up pregnant, we're supposed to admire how courageous the mother is to be public with it and how awesome for family values that the daughter is going to keep the child and marry the father when they're both clearly not even responsible enough to practically work a rubber? Why is that okay? I applaud Obama and the Democrats for not taking the easy punches here, but I really do have to wonder why people aren't making mention of the fact that if the shoe were on the other foot, Republicans would be roasting that kid and her fetus on a spit.

Teh Happier!

2008-08-22T13:29:00.004-05:00

Sara realized, as I think that I would, that a house without a dog is empty. And so she got a new dog from the Humane Society! Meet Franny:

Franny's a sweet pea who got abandoned in the Humane Society dog run, so she's a bit shy still, but she's a doll. She licked Sara's feet while I met her this morning, and then very gently nommed her big toe. I like to think Buddah brought Sara Franny. Also, please note the slightly flopping ear, which is too cute for words.

Teh Sad

2008-08-15T12:41:00.002-05:00

My friend Sara had to put her dog Buddah to sleep this morning. He was going into heart failure, and couldn't breathe much anymore. His picture's right below. Ain't he a little cutie pie?

There are very few things I find sadder than losing pets. I know losing people is awful, too, but there's something indescribably different about being the one who decides that it's time to give someone you love something that will put them out of pain and put you in a tremendous amount of pain. It's a pretty awesome responsibility.

I told Sara that I believe God gave us pets so that He could show us how much He loves us. I hope that's true. I used to be so sure about there being a God, but these days I just don't know. But I hope there is one, and I hope I'm right, and I hope Buddah's chilling and getting treats in a big park in the sky.

open letter to english speakers

2008-07-24T06:14:00.000-05:00

Dear English speaker,

Please take note: the word "important" has TWO t's. It is pronounced "imporTanT." it is not "impor-ant" or even "impor-an'". I implore you: please say the damn word correctly. It is not hard to to say. The ts do not necessarily have to be hard, but please, do not say the word with a long "an" at the end. It's super irritating.

This letter brought to you by a morning viewing of Project Runway.

ImporTanTly,
Angie

BLEH

2008-07-15T13:18:00.002-05:00

Today may be the most disgusting day in the history of the universe.

This morning, my coworker, Holly, talked about a time she got a sunburn and went to the gym two days later and exercised so hard she had sweat bubbles UNDER HER SKIN.
Then someone threw up in the trashcans outside of our office.
Finally, our environmentally conscious study abroad coordinator was eating her organic local broccolli today and found THREE grubs/larval creatures in it. One LOOKED LIKE BROCCOLI.

I need to go home.

a cheer

2008-06-23T22:09:00.000-05:00

Rat shit, bat shit, dirty old twat!
69 linemen tied in a knot!
Hurray, lizard shit, FUCK!

Hey, George, here's hoping God recites the seven words with you. Happy trails, and may Buddy Christ greet you at the gates.

Also, universe? Maybe enough with the taking of awesome people who should have had more time. Between Ledger, Carlin and Russert, you should be occupied for a while.

holy shitballs

2008-06-17T20:15:00.001-05:00

Pardon my French.

Here is the transcript for a commercial I happened to stumble on while fastforwarding through a DVRd episode of Intervention.

Picture two ships: the Santa Maria fading into a cruise ship, after a black screen that says "We've conquered the seas." Next: "We've conquered the skies" followed by a Wright brother's plain and a standard passenger plane. "We've conquered the heavens," followed by a shuttle launch and a space walk. Finally, "But how can we conquer our own self doubts?" Shown: a busy street. "Find out." Super cheesy volcano explosion CG that looks like it had a public access channel budget. "Dianetics.org"

I just... i think I need an intervention now.

Hip Hip Huzzah!

2008-06-17T12:33:00.002-05:00

I heard a story on my way back from lunch on NPR about the first gay and lesbian couples getting married in California, prompting me to draft the following short notes:

Dear Gay and Lesbian Couples,

Mazel Tov! Many happy returns of today's joy.

Love,
Angie

Dear California,

Right on. Keep 'em coming!

Love,
Angie

Dear Damn Near Rest of the U.S.,

Seriously, get with it. It's 2008. All people deserve equal rights

No Love,
Angie

intentions

2008-06-11T20:22:00.001-05:00

So, I know I'm pretty much the worst Catholic ever, but old habits die hard, and because I don't think any amount of prayer or good vibes can hurt, I'm putting the following prayer out to the universe, and if you want to add it to your list if you see this, I would most definitely appreciate it. Here goes nothing!

Dear God, Blessed Mother, St. Gerard and St. Anne, the Universe,
Please care for my twin sister during her pregnancy. Please take care of the little baby she's having and let everything go smoothly. Please let my sister be healthy and bring a healthy baby into the world. Amen!

feelin' hot, hot, hot

2008-06-07T18:50:00.001-05:00

It is currently 80 degrees in my apartment. My window air conditioner is not working. In an attempt to thwart this problem and not have to go spend the night away from my pets, I have come up with the following ghetto ways to stay cool:

I bought four packs of sliced watermelons and a bag of grapes at the grocery store. Nature's air conditioner!

I basically chugged 44 ounces of Icee. Gas station's air conditioner!

I bought a bag of ice, which I keep emptying portions of into a bowl and placing in front of my fan. Ghetto air conditioner!

I'm watching Knocked Up, which is hilarious.

Lemonade out of lemons I guess. Other apartments in my complex are flooded, so I guess I can't complain. Oh wait, it's 80 degrees in my apartment! I still can.

Opinionated

2008-05-23T09:33:00.002-05:00

Or: Why Abstinence-Only Sex Education is STUPID.

I heard a story on NPR recently about sex-ed and heard yet another person spouting off that teaching abstinence-only sex ed is the best and safest way to teach kids about sex and sexuality, and to keep them from engaging in risky behaviors. This is a bunch of horseshit. Let me explain via metaphor:

Let's say you take a 15 year old boy, otherwise known as a human vacuum, to a buffet, one with all sorts of awesome food all over the place and so many options the kid's eyes just kind of glow with excitement. Then you tell the kid, "So all of this looks awesome, but you should really just eat from the salad bar. It's definitely the healthiest for you, and all that other stuff, the fried chicken, the mashed potatoes, the steak, the soup, the sushi, all that stuff you'd really like to try, should really be saved for a special occasion." And the kid asks "So I can't eat any of this other stuff?" And you say, "Well, obviously, you can, it's there. But you shouldn't eat it. You should just have some salad."

So the kid rolls his eyes at you and comes back with ribs sandwiched between pizza topped with a brownie. And you say "But I told you you should just have the salad!" And the kid says "Yeah, but there was all this other stuff that looked really good." And you say "But it can kill you!" And the kid says, "Oh, please. I'm not going to have a heart attack or a stroke or anything like that. That crap's not a problem for me." And you say, "But you can have that stuff if you're smart about it! If you eat that stuff and salad and bread and fruit, you just need to use your head about it!" And the kid says, "So it's not about just eating salad forever, or only eating rib-pizza, it's about using good judgment?" And you say, "Yes!" And the kid says, "So why didn't you just say that?"

That's why abstinence-only sex ed is stupid.

Dear Emmy Academy

2008-05-21T21:33:00.001-05:00

If Robert Sean Leonard does not win an Emmy for the season finale of House, I will find out where you live and smack you in the face with rotten fish. Not since The West Wing's Noel and Bartlet for America has one episode so clearly earned it for an actor than this. I am going to need therapy after this episode, seriously. And give one to Hugh Laurie for good measure, he's always phenomenal. (So is RSL, but this episode was the aria of awesomeness.)

Just an FYI, academy.

PS--Bye Amber! you may have been a CTB, but you were also awesome, and way more interesting that 13.

That's How You Know What a Giant DORK I am

2008-05-14T15:34:00.002-05:00

Ok, so Enchanted is basically my favorite movie in the world right now. I'm 26 years old and every time I see this at the two minute mark? I get shivers and almost cry.

*sigh* Do girls ever stop wanting that? I hope not. I'm gonna have to convince Jon to do this for me sometime.

Two Awesome Things

2008-05-13T08:30:00.002-05:00

... and it's not even 10 am yet!

There is nothing that I will be able to do today that will be as awesome as these two things.

2008-05-08T09:25:00.002-05:00

This is an echidna. It’s one of only two animals that only have one hole for… waste removal and reproduction. Eww. But isn’t it cute?!

The other?

The duck-billed platypus, nature’s cutest WTF.

Just FYI.

actual content!

2008-05-05T20:55:00.001-05:00

I love being able to blog from my phone.
Presenting: a girl-ish review of Iron Man!
First and foremost, Robert Downey Jr. Is super pretty. I want more movies that give me a good excuse to enjoy tha. He plays a cad adorably well, probably based on copious experience, but I still see a wee bit of the boyishness from Chances Are, a movie I still love. In any case, Jon had a giant geek-on for the movie, and I had the eye candy, so that started out nicely.
The snappy dialogue RDJ gets to spout off, with the rest of the cast, is another big selling point for me. I like stuff that's fun to listen to, and this was that in abundance. Also, Tony Stark, RDJ's character, has lots of fun robots with personalities, which I fins adorable. Yes, I'm a giant loser-girl, but that part was fun for me.
Gwyneth Paltrow was a perfectly pleasing Pepper Potts. I always forget how much I like her in stuff because the 'razzi spends so much time calling her a bitch. Bitch or no, she's great on-screen, and it's fun to see the little wink she brings to the deferential personal assistant.
Terrence Howard was also great. It's just unfortunate that I look at him right now and think, "Oh! It's poor man's Cuba!" I'll get over that, and it wasn't his fault, I just think they look alike and I've seen less stuff with TH.
And Jeff Bridges. Lovely Jeff Bridges, playing the anti-Dude, Obadiah. He looks good bald, and the full beard works, too. He looks a wee bit like Jon like that, which is fun for me. Also, Bridges gets points for awesome villain line delivery with "Hold still, you little prick!" A good villain really makes or breaks these movies, and Bridges was more than equal to the task.
So! Overall? Shiny, blow-upy, snarky good time! It earns me good girlfriend points and lets me ogle pretty man for two hours! I have to go with my friend Becca's review: Iron Man is win!

birthday addendum

2008-04-30T18:53:00.001-05:00

The day continues to rock! I had pineapple bread pudding for dessert, and my shmoopie gave me the A&E Pride and Prejudice as my first (!) birthday present, with the rest to come on Friday. If today got any better, I'd swear it wasn't real! (Easy to impress? Maybe a little.)

Birthday Comparisons

2008-04-30T14:02:00.003-05:00

Last year on my birthday I:

rear-ended someone on my way to work
had to deal with my parents splitting up
felt like the day was barely acknowledged and felt kinda bad for myself.

This year for my birthday I:

Went to Starbucks and had coffee with my bosses who rock, and who gave me fun books, a giant poster to color, and markers to color it with
had lunch with more coworkers and had Snickers ice cream
got a dozen loooooong stemmed roses from Jon.

This year has sucked a lot less!

Real blog with opinions and stuff soon!

The Pope Was Mean To Me

2008-04-15T14:04:00.000-05:00

Or: my subconscious is on crack. Had a very vivid night of dreaming last night. Please do not confuse vivid for "making sense in any way." Here's the lowdown.

First, I was with a group of people who were going to have a private audience with the Pope. So we all file into the room and are sitting ont the floor, and the Pope's all "What should we talk about?" Someone mentions Islam, and how knowledge is a good thing. The Pope says something about how violent Islam is. I comment, "Excuse me, your Holiness, but Islam has far from cornered the market on atrocities." So then the pope gets up and dumps an ornate vial of ashes in my hands, which I just know are the remains of a Holocaust victim. Not cool, pope you creeped me out! The dream kinda fades from there.

Then I dream I steal a bus to go to my grandma and grandpa's house. Which is three miles from where I live, but whatever. Once there, I talk to my grandma, who is wearing a dark suit. I sit on the floor in front of her, hugging her legs. I ask her how grandpa is and she smiles and looks really happy. I ask about Aunt Ruth, and I think she rolled her eyes but also acknowledged she was fine. But I remember at that point knowing she was slipping away again, and that was sad. and I spent the rest of the dream trying to decide if I'd get away with the bus thing or if I should just turn myself in, since who's going to be mad that I used the bus to go see my dead grandma?

No more peyote before bed. Or something.

I am losing it

2008-03-20T07:40:00.001-05:00

I was just signing some documents on my desk at work, and started looking for the pen I had just used. I couldn’t find it, so no big deal, I just grabbed another. I realized where the pen was a minute later.

Between my teeth. I need a nap.

Movie Meme: Why not?

2008-03-10T15:15:00.001-05:00

1. Pick 10 of your favorite movies.2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.3. Post them here for everyone to guess.4. Fill in the film title once it's guessed.*5. NO GOOGLING/using IMDb search functions.
1. The bad stuff is easier to believe. You ever notice that?
2. Well, technically speaking, the operation is brain damage, but it's on a par with a night of heavy drinking. Nothing you'll miss.
3. I know. She's heading an expedition to China shortly. I'm to go as her servant. But only on the understanding that I am to be very badly treated.
4. Person 1: If I was a guy, I think women would like, line up to go out with me. I'm smart. I have a good sense of humor. I make a great living.Person 2: I'd fuck you. Person 1: Thank you, honey. I know you would.
5. But the point being, our child learned two very important lessons. One, about life and death. The other, some things, once you do, they can't be undone. I knew just how she felt.
6. Also, I sleep in the nude. Au buffo. Winter and summer rain or snow with the window open and because I may have to go to the potty or to the fridge in the middle of the night and because I don't want to put on jammies which I do not own in the first place... unless you're looking for a quick thrill or your daughter an advanced education I would keep my door closed.
7. I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up DOES rejoice. Still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend.
8. My friends. You bow to no-one.
9. Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
10. Person 1: You don't mean to tell me that you're living in poverty? Person 2: No. But I'm broke.
11. Pull-yourself-together! "What will you do?" Is this a question? You will show him that you remember that he is [character name], and you will remind him who *you* are. Well, you know where he is. Go, confront the problem. Fight! Win! And call me when you get back, darling. I enjoy our visits.
12. I just want you to feel you're doing well. I hate for people to die embarrassed.
13. The chinaman is not the issue here, Dude. I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude. Across this line, you DO NOT... Also, Dude, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please.
14. Now I'm stuck with Mr. Happy here, sleeping on a fucking sofa. Look, I know you are a homo and all, but maybe you can appreciate this. You go to one of those places, there's four women for every guy. Can you imagine what that's like?
15. It's the same things your whole life. "Clean up your room.", "Stand up straight.", "Pick up your feet.", "Take it like a man.", "Be nice to your sister.", "Don't mix beer and wine, ever.". Oh yeah, "Don't drive on the railroad track."
16. Oh. Where you going?... Oh, you men are all alike. Seven or eight quick ones and then you're out with the boys to boast and brag. YOU BETTER KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. Oh... I think I love him.
17. What have I done? My brains... are going into my feet.
18. Janice Van Meter got hit with a baseball. It was fabulous.
19. We take Pete's car, we drive over to mum's, we go in, take care of Phillip - "I'm so sorry Phillip". - then we grab mum, we go over to Liz's place, hole up, have a cup of tea and wait for this whole thing to blow over.
20. You have no power over me.

CAR-rap...

2008-03-07T20:57:00.003-05:00

Or: "The Saga of My Car Trying to Make Me Lose My Goddamn Mind." (And, apparently, sapping my desire to blog.)

Ok, so I mentioned last time that my car was having transmission issues, right? Which sucked ass. So I found out eventually that getting the transmission rebuilt would be the cheapest option, at the bargain price of $1300. Bah. So through a divine intervention (read: startlingly large loan from someone who was very kind, and who had no reason to help me, thank you, good Karma I've managed to amass!) I was able to get that done. The car place that rebuilt the transmission does very good work, but they're also quite slow. So it took ten days from the time they got my car to have it ready for me, which was already two and a half weeks after it already died. Bumming rides is actually terribly degrading after a while, or at least very frustrating.

So, last Thursday, they finally called and said it was all done and I could come get my car, and so I did, with much triumph. And Friday, I triumphantly drove my car into work, where it triumphantly began spewing white smoke and the temperature guage shot up to high. My direct quote? "Oh, you mother fucker." (Pardon my French.) An hour and a half later, I drove my "cooled off" car down to the car place, where it proceeded to overheat again, and then froze up and would not start. BLEH. The nice car guys picked me up and drove me home, where they told me that my radiator had a hole in it, that likely was started back when I rear-ended that dude on the shitty birthday of doom. So much for having my car for that weekend.

But Monday evening, they called again. You're all set, come get your car, that'll be a hundred bucks. Tuesday morning? Car wouldn't start. Lovely car place? Jumped it, and after letting it charge/warm up for a few minutes, I drove myself to school, where the battery proceeded to die again. I called my dad, cussing a blue streak, and ready to Thelma and Louise my freaking car off the nearest available cliff, and was informed that it would most likely be an alternator. GAH. So at that point, I had the car towed to the other garage I use. The good news? The car was fixed in six hours. The bad news? $300.

Mind you, I paid $3000 for the car, which I do love. But if anything else breaks on it? I'm giving that bitch the Mythbusters treatment.

And the icing on the crap cake? I've been driving with a suspended license (I know, I suck) for an unpaid (so they say) ticket for... well, way too long. So no license, expired plates, every time I saw a cop car, I'd basically say a Hail Mary and hope for the best. This morning, a mile and a half from school? Pulled over by a cop. I was practically crying before he could even get to the car. But the cop was actually really nice, gave me the cheapest ticket he was allowed to do, just for the expired plates, and totally gave me the giant kick in the ass to get to the BMV and get stuff straightened out. So at the other end of the story, I emerge triumphant, with a running car with valid plates and a valid license, and all's well that ends well. Expensively, but well.

But I'm going to a b&b tomorrow with Jon, so that makes up for most of it. Well, if not, I'll at least forget it for a few hours!

The most heartfelt thing posted in this blog yet:

2008-02-04T09:15:00.001-05:00

Dear Tom Brady:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

Suck it long, and suck it hard. Hubris just made you her bitch.

But 18-1 is still good.

Love,
Angie

Dear Eli,

You are not as awesome as your brother, but congrats anyway, and you're still pretty awesome.

Enjoy the ring!

Love,
Angie

My best idea ever

2008-01-28T11:37:00.000-05:00

Okay, you know those irritating, awful Kidz Bop CDs? And how they're full of chirping little cherubs singing songs that are grossly inappropriate for little kid voices to be singing? Seriously, here's an example of stuff just from their latest CD:

"What Goes Around"--Justin Timberlake (You cheated on me, so suck it. Awesome for little ones!)
"Never Again"--Kelly Clarkson (See above comment.)
"Makes Me Wonder"--Maroon 5 (We have fabulous sex, but I think our relationship might be bad. Sorry, Elmo.) (PS--"It really makes me wonder if I ever gave a thought about you." Well played Kidz Bop. Well Played.)
"How to Save a Life"--The Fray (Great, because that song's not overplayed enough.)

Okay, so if they're going to make these ridiculous CDs, don't you think the least they could do is put out an incredibly inappropriate CD? I do. Here are some of my suggestions:

"Closer"--Nine Inch Nails
"Crazy Bitch"--Buck Cherry
"Me and a Gun"--Tori Amos
"We Didn't Start the Fire" or "End of the World as We Know It"--Billy Joel or REM. (Would it not be awesome hearing those kids trying to chuck those lyrics out?)
"Manifest Destiny"--Guster
Anything by Jefferson Airplane

I had more, but of course I can't remember them now. Any suggestions from the peanut gallery?

Blah

2008-01-25T16:02:00.001-05:00

I would so rather be writing a frivolous, fun post, but three circumstances currently prevent me from doing so:

My grandma died fairly suddenly on Sunday. She was my last grandparent, and it's definitely sad. I'm glad she went the way she did, though. Heart failure was mercifully quick and pretty painless. I'm hoping my grandpa had something to do with that.
My frickin' car is super sick. Libby needs a new transmission, meanwhile, I need a stack of cash to afford it.
Heath Ledger died this week, too! So sad! I just watched 10 Things I Hate About You this weekend. What a waste.

Bad things come in threes, right? So I'm done with the bad crap.But next week, I will be funny again, oh yes, I will.

Month Meme

2008-01-10T12:01:00.000-05:00

I'm going to write real things soon, maybe even today, I swear! You're supposed to bold the traits that are like you, and The Queen italicized the things that were not true at all, which I shall also do. Here goes nothing.

APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive* and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself.** Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic.*** Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Brave and fearless.*** Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave***** and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory.****** Moving. Motivates oneself and others.******* Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.********

*Decisive? Apparently you have never been around Jon and I picking where to go for dinner.
**Maybe after a few more years in therapy.
***One of my co-workers came back today after being out sick today. I asked how she was feeling, and she said better, and I actually said "I don't mean this in a negative way, but you don't look better." In my defense, she didn't; she looked exhausted and pale. Still. Not so much with the diplomacy.
****HAH! HAH!
*****Nothing needs to be in my path for me to trip. Ever.
******This thing has never been to my apartment, obviously.
******It's funny, because a lot of things I can remember extremely well, but I couldn't find my shoes this morning.
********Well, not only him, but I think it's kind of something you get to know about me.

Year In Review

2007-12-31T11:44:00.000-05:00

JANUARY: How did you ring in 2007?
I was actually at a friend/co-worker's house for a game night with some of her friends and another of our co-workers, and it was very nice, and much more fun than I would have anticipated, given that I had dreaded all holidays.

FEBRUARY: What did you do for Valentine's Day?
I bought hilarious cards and made gift packs for my girlfriends. Again, much better than I thought it would be.

MARCH: Did you celebrate St. Patty's Day by getting drunk?
No, I was babysitting for the drunk getters. More money, less hangovers!

APRIL: Did you have to walk in the rain?
This is Indiana, let's be realistic. If I hadn't walked in the rain, I wouldn't have left my house.

MAY: Did you fail any classes?
Damn near, but my math teacher let me re-take my final, which got me over that hump to the diploma. Bless him.

JUNE: Did you buy a new swimsuit?
No, 'cause I don't really do a lot of swimming. Maybe next year I'll get one of those cute, 50s looking ones.

JULY: Did you party on 4th of July?
I didn't have to work and I got to see Jon, so... sure!

AUGUST: Did you go to the beach?
I'm landlocked. So no.

SEPTEMBER: Did you start school again?
Nope, I'm on a break.

OCTOBER: What did you dress as for Halloween?
I think I just wore a silly headband with cat ears or something. I'm lazy.

NOVEMBER: What did you do for Thanksgiving?
Spent the morning at my dad's eating steak, and the afternoon at my sister's eating turkey. It was nice.

DECEMBER: What do you want/what did you get for Christmas?
I got a super nice new computer from my mom, among other things. I can't wait to have the internet at home again.

Personal Reflection

Did you reach your goals for 2007?
I don't think I set specific goals, but I think I did okay.

Beside your set goals, what else did you accomplish?
I graduated, I took care of myself all by myself for a whole year, I made a lot of progress in therapy, and I didn't get fired! So good year.

What is something you learned about yourself?
That I can get through more stuff than I thought I could.

Did you do anything you'd never thought you'd ever do?
Not that I can think of.

In 2007, did you:

Change your apperance?
I got some cute haircuts.

Move to a new place?
Ick, no. I hate moving.

Go to a concert?
I saw Guster twice!

Go to a sporting event?
No, but I was at the Super Bowl in spirit, and it was awesome.

Get a new job?
Nope!

Get a new addition to your family?
My dad's adorable dachshund puppies, Oscar and Charlie.

Gain new friends?
I'm sure I did at some point.

Lose old friends?
Lose isn't the right word, but I did accept that some relationships have changed substantially.

Get into a fight (verbal or physical)?
Verbal for sure. My sisters and I go rounds sometimes.

Puke from drinking too much?
No, and not an experience I missed. I did have the flu for the first time in a while this year, and it re-cemented for me how freaking much I hate puking.

Go to a wedding?
Nope, not that I can recall.

Go to a funeral?
I don't think so, which is a good thing.

Go to the hospital?
To visit my grandma, yeah.

Have any run ins with the law?
*sigh* Yeah, my stupid license got suspended and I'm still sorting it out.

Start a relationship?
As a matter of fact, yes.

End a relationship?
Nope.

Spend over $1000 on something?
My rent

Favorite 2007:

Month?
Honestly not something I've stopped to quantify.

Season?
Fall is my favorite time of the year.

Holiday?
Thanksgiving was much smoother than I thought it would be.

Memory?
Just getting to spend time with Jon and my friends/family.

Party?
I think my sis and I did our Mafia party this year, and it was pretty fun.

Event?
Concerts!

Moment you laughed so hard that you cried?
I probably cracked my sister up at some point, or I was laughing at the puppies.

Movie?
Knocked Up

Song?
Bubbly-Colbie Callait

Worst 2007:
Memory?
My birthday was kind of ass this year.

Embarrassing moment?
Not really sure, I tend to forget that stuff.

Fight/Disagreement/Argument?
Arguing with my sis about my parents splitting up.

Pain you felt?
I'm not sure. Probably when I rear-ended that guy on my birthday.

Person you met?
Dick Cheney was in my city, does that count?

Place?
Traffic jams.

For New Year's Eve 2007/2008

Where will you be?
At Jon's.

Who will be there?
Jon, me, Sacha and Queenie (his dogs).

Do you want to kiss someone at midnight?
Definitely that first guy, and maybe the third and fourth on the list.

What are you wearing?
Jeans and a green Old Navy shirt.

In 2008:

What are your goals?
Again, not something I think about too much, but I would say get a better handle on money, start working toward grad school, and not stress overly much.

What do you look forward to?
Umm... things that won't suck?

My Car is Poltergeist

2007-12-17T15:45:00.000-05:00

So my car is wonderful and I love her, but she is getting more and more weird and ghetto. Over the summer, it started to be that if I tried to roll the passenger window down with the door unlocked, the door would actually pop open. If I lock it, I'm safe, but then it only rolls halfway down, which is great in July when you don't have air conditioning. My cruise control only works about half the time. My windshield wiper tank is busted, meaning that I squeegee my windows at gas stations a lot, particularly this time of year because I can't see squat with all the snow and salt junk on my windows.

But the car's newest oddity is by far it's most irritating. The radio is possessed.

It started last week. I was driving home from work and decided to flip from NPR to a music station. Then my radio turned back to NPR. Spontaneously. It did this like 4 times. Then it stopped letting me change stations altogether. I can change channels intermittently, usually near the beginning of getting into my car, but it sometimes still changes on it's own. And better yet, it changes two of the pre-set buttons to whichever channel it's currently on. So NPR is now programmed into two buttons instead of just one.

Someone needs to find me that short lady and Craig T. Nelson, STAT.

DVR and CBS-enemies?

2007-12-10T09:22:00.001-05:00

Dear CBS:

I don't know what was wrong with your network timing AGAIN this week, but this is the second time in four weeks that I've DVRd The Amazing Race only to have it not start at the appropriate time. I missed the last half of the episode, you douchewads! Get with the program!

HATE you,
Angie

Make a Wish!

2007-12-07T09:35:00.000-05:00

Just a quick schill: This local radio station is doing its annual Make-a-Wish Request-a-thon as we speak. As of 9:36 EST, since yesterday morning, they've raised almost $160,000 and granted 27 wishes. I know it's a tight time of year because of Christmas, etc, but if you have an extra couple of bucks, you might consider giving, to either this or your local Make-a-Wish. I do the Wish-Makers club, which is a small, monthly deduction. I don't miss the money that comes out of my bank account, and I really like the organization.

Hate. Hate. Hate. Intensely.

2007-12-07T08:15:00.000-05:00

I'm sure you've heard of those horrible people who protest soldiers' funerals with their "God hates fags" signs, and they've sunk to an all new level of absolutely repulsive. DO NOT click this unless you're prepared to be furious and lose a shred more faith in all humanity.

The thing that blows my mind about these awful people is how they take the life of a person that they supposedly believe in who was all about love and acceptance, and turn it into a hateful, disgusting pile of shit. They claim that God hates the entire world. Does this exclude them? Are we supposed to believe that God threw Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Evil out of petty anger? The being you supposedly believe in who endowed you with a soul and free will is actually a petty kid with a magnifying glass, burning up ants just so he can feel powerful over something? I don't get how these people try to justify worship to a God who clearly has contempt for the entire creation he made, and who finds his people irredeemable.

These people make me so deeply sad and angry.

Uplifting post in just a bit! I'm not dwelling on this disgusting crap for long.

On a more pleasant note

2007-11-26T16:41:00.000-05:00

I just got Jon several magnets from Cafe Press that are sure to crack him up. I got him 4. Do I give them to him all at once, or mete them out over time? Hmmmmm.

2007-11-26T15:09:00.001-05:00

Sometimes the universe seems genuinely screwed up. My friend and co-worker had a friend die last weekend. He was 24, and it was three days before his body was found. That just sucks.

Turkey Crash

2007-11-24T12:55:00.000-05:00

My fabulous boyfriend is off getting me lunch, so here's a quick wrap-up:

Thanksgiving was really, really nice and drama-free, believe it or not.
My sis, bro-in-law and I went over to my dad's last night to play games and eat pizza. It was totally nice.
I'm working on another scarf, and it's kind of too wide, but it looks really good so far. A really wide scarf isn't a problem, is it Catherine? I've got the knit stitch down, I managed to cast on for this one by myself... is it time to learn to purl? Holy crap! Is it possible I'm getting the hang of this?!
My apartment is a mess. I gave the pets chores before I left yesterday, but I bet their freeloading asses don't do anything.
I've got a post to make up for yesterday if that's not cheating.
America's Next Top Model makes me happy. And guilty. It's awesome.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2007-11-22T16:32:00.000-05:00

I'm at my sister's, watching The West Wing, smelling turkey and I've been knitting half the day. It's a nice Thanksgiving. Hope you're having a nice one, too!

Thanksgiving Survey

2007-11-21T13:16:00.000-05:00

My laziness knows no bounds. Hell with it.

How intensely do you celebrate Thanksgiving, on a 1-10 scale?
If we're basing it on an eating scale, 11. If we're basing it on how psyched I get? 6-7

1. What is your favorite part of Thanksgiving?
Eating myself stupid. Yum.

2. Do you eat Turkey? What foods are on your table every year?
I love turkey. There must be mashed potatoes and sweet pickle midgies or it's not Thanksgiving along with the turkey. And pumpkin pie, obviously.

3. What are your Thanksgiving traditions, is there something you do every year?
Eat self into stupor. That's about it. Harass my brother-in-law for putting ketchup on his turkey.

4. Do you watch the Macy's Day Parade?
Meh, bits and pieces, but not really.

5. What are you thankful for?
My family and friends, my pets, Jon, my health, etc.

6. Do you go shopping on Black Friday -the next day?
I might if the sales were super good, but I hate crowds of people. So probably not.

7. Do you celebrate Buy Nothing Day?
If that's the opposite of Black Friday, sure.

8. Do you watch football at home?
Not really, but the Colts are playing tomorrow night, so Adam might put it on if I'm still there.

9. Do you have a favorite Thanksgiving Memory?
No, not really, but it was nice to go to my grandparents and see my cousins and stuff when we were growing up and everyone was still here.

10. It's not Thanksgiving without...
Turkey! Might as well scrap the holiday.

11. What will be different about this Thanksgiving?
It's the first year since my parents split up, so that'll be weird, but we'll work it out.

More haiku

2007-11-20T16:42:00.000-05:00

Oh work, you're neglected.
Sorry! I had to go to
traffic court today.

Which sucked, by the way!
My soul, my wallet, all 'round.
Bureaucracy blows.

Shaun of the Dead Night
with my friend Jen tonight
(Halloween make-up.)

Curious

2007-11-19T16:19:00.001-05:00

So I was watching a documentary on the History Channel last night on the Ku Klux Klan. It was so irritating, seeing these people in their vileness. But even more interesting is that they say they're lighting these crosses on fire to show the light of Christ and not about how much they hate Jews, blacks, etc. So I'm wondering a few things now. Are they aware that Jesus was

not white
Jewish
and pretty damn inclusive?

I mean seriously, what the hell?

Cheating

2007-11-19T08:25:00.000-05:00

I handwrote this yesterday because I didn't get to a computer. Real blog later today.

I'm sleepy.
This weekend has been too short.
So this will make do.

2007-11-17T18:06:00.001-05:00

I helped my dad move today and now I'm on a date. This is all you get. BYE!

More lazy blogging.

2007-11-16T13:45:00.000-05:00

Here's a survey.

Marc-y Marc Fish-berg

2007-11-15T15:12:00.000-05:00

So Marc has requested a blog since I forgot to mention that he is my funniest friend. Marc is one of my funniest friends, though I'm lucky enough to be able to say that most of my friends are hilarious. But here are some of Marc's greatest hits!

Marc used to do baby voices for the group we hung out in based on our personalities. So Baby Marc was playing a tiny guitar and being all "You goy suck! I get 8 days of presents, and my parents know my affection has to be purchased!"
Marc once re-wrote they lyrics to Wonderwall about an acquaintance of ours with really sad, saggy boobs, called "Wonder-bra." It was even more funny than it sounds like it would be.
Marc has a great sense of humor about himself, which is a must in order to actually be funny. He makes fun of his cheapness, he has dozens of pictures of himself and his girlfriend where he's literally holding his wallet open to her, looking shocked. And he's got the cojones to do stand-up, which is more than most of us are gutsy enough to do!

All this and the poor guy didn't even have cable growing up!

Survey Cop-Out

2007-11-14T15:23:00.001-05:00

I'm having a shitty day, and rather than write about, or think about, it, here's a survey. Pardon me for so many NoBloMo copouts.

SEVEN CIRCLESCIRCLE ONE: THE OUTSIDE
1. What's your name: Angela Nicole (Redacted)
2. How tall are you: 5'8"
3. What color are your eyes: Green or blue, depending on clothing.
4. What color is your hair: Dark blonde.
5. Are you Male or Female: Female.
6. What is your best feature (physically): I have pretty eyes and great cheekbones.
7. What's your shoe size: 8-9
8. Glasses, yes or no: Yes
9. Did you ever have braces: No, but as a kid, I wanted them hardcore.
10. On a typical day you are wearing: Clothing, generally clean.
11. When you go to bed you're wearing: A tank top and underwear, if anything.
12. work out/exercise about how often: In a blue friggin' moon.

CIRCLE TWO: MUSIC
1. Name five of your favorite bands: Barenaked Ladies, Guster, Nickel Creek, They Might Be Giants, Rascal Flatts
2. Name five of your favorite singers: Tori Amos, Kelly Clarkson, Anna Nalick, Billy Joel, Elton John
3. Name three songs you are currently playing nonstop: "When You Come Back Down," Nickel Creek, "As If," Sara Evans, " "Ever the Same" Rob Thomas
4. Name one song (give lyrics) that best describes your life right now: Is there a song about having a shitty day and wanting to jump out the window? No? Plead the fifth at the moment, but generally we'll go "Doubting Thomas" by Nickel Creek.
5. Name one song (give lyrics) that best describes your life one year ago: "Winner at a Losing Game" Rascal Flatts.
6. When you're driving, what are the preset stations on your radio: 92.3, 99.5, 97.1, 90.1, 105.7, 95.5
7. What's the last CD you bought: Colbie Callait
8. Was the last CD you burned an actual CD or a mix: Mix, I'm sure, but it's been forever.
9. Name one song/band/singer you're embarrassed to like but do: Journey.
10. If you could only attend one concert ever again, it would be: Barenaked Ladies
11. Name one band/singer you absoulutely can't stand: Hoobastank.
12. Name a group you used to like but feel you've grown out of: NKOTB. Hee.

CIRCLE THREE: MOVIES/TELEVISION
1. Name your favorite actor: George Clooney *Drool*
2. Name your favorite actress: Alison Janney.
3. Name your favorite television show right now: Pushing Daisies
4. Name five really cool movies you've recently seen: I'm ignoring recently, I haven't been to the movies in forever. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Knocked Up, Pan's Labrynth, Shaun of the Dead, and The Wedding Singer. These are mostly what came to mind more than anything else.
5. Your favorite canceled television show: Arrested Development! I didn't see it when it was on, but now I'm more than hooked. Come back, show!
6. Name one movie you wish you hadn't wasted time/money on recently: Autumn in New York. It wasn't recently, but I was angry and wanted my money back.
7. You would never watch a movie with: Britney Spears starring.
8. Favorite candy/food to watch movies with: Popcorn or Sour Patch Kids
9. Three favorite tv channels: Discovery, History, MTV/Vh1, whoever's running ANTM marathons.
10. Favorite reality show: Project Runway
11. Favorite character on a reality show: Jay McCarroll and Laura Bennett

CIRCLE FOUR: WORD ASSOCIATION
1. coffee: sweet
2. dog: Shadow
3. slut: bag
4. candy: corn
5. pole: vault
6. ocean: salt
7. brave: one
8. loving: care
9. cookie: snickerdoodle
10. death: rebirth
11. life: force
12. child: niece/nephew

CIRCLE FIVE: WHICH WOULD YOU PREFER:(bold the one you prefer)
1. Ten guilty men go free OR One innocent man goes to jail for life (Both suck, but I believe in Karma.)
2. Eaten by a lion OR Eaten by thousands of small insects (At least the first is fast!)
3. A life of contentment without love OR A life with love and heartache (One's not living, simple as that.)
4. Skydiving from a plane OR Bungee jumping off a bridge (My spine is not an accordion!)
5. No television OR No music (I would weep without my TiVo, but come on, I can't live without music.)
6. No more pizza, ever OR No more chocolate, ever (This is like Sophie's Choice! Argh! But there are other sweets, I suppose I could make do.)
7. A trip to Europe OR a trip to Hawaii (I want to go to Europe, but more I want to lay on a beach somewhere beautiful and drink fruity alcohol.
8 An hour with your future soul mate OR An hour with a lost loved one (If it's my soulmate, I'll find him/her eventually.)
9 No longer being able to cry OR No longer being able to feel the need to cry (If I felt like I really needed to but never could, that would suck.)
10 Sex without love OR love without sex (This would also suck.)
12. Loving someone who doesn't love you OR being loved by someone you don't love (Believe it or not, I'd feel worse about the second.)

CIRCLE SIX: THE LOVE LIFE
1. Are you currently in a relationship: Yep!
2. Are you currently looking/interested in someone: Yep! (It'd be a shitty relationship otherwise.)
3. Are you a virgin: Yep! Hahahahaha, just kidding. Nope.
4. If yes, how long do you plan to be one: 'Til I'm 40 and then they'll make a wicked awesome movie about my awkwardness!
5. How many times have you been "in love": Twice genuinely, two more times not really.
6. Looking back, how do you feel about that person(s) now: The not reallys: One quite warmly, with a touch of "what a dumb-ass", one "what a dumb-ass". The genuines: One warm, a bit sad. One warm and fuzzy and sweaty and... I've said enough.
7. Name three things (physically) you look for in someone: Nice eyes, good smile, giant dong. Nah, I don't really care about the eyes. Seriously, the third would be decent build. Skinny boys make me feel like Jabba the Hut.
8. Name three things (mentally/emotionally) you look for in someone: Sense of humor, intelligence, openness
9. Biggest turn offs include: not openness, rudeness, bigotry, BO. (Let's be honest.)
10. Your ideal date would be: Fun, sweet.
11. You want to get married, where, when, how: Someday, somewhere, by someone. I haven't worked out all the particulars yet.
12. Does anyone have feelings for you right now that you don't return: Not that I'm aware of.

CIRCLE SEVEN: THE FRIENDS (of your friends, who would you say is:)
1. The one you immediately go to with a problem: Suzy, Mary
2. The most rational: Mary
3. The funniest: Sara
4. The one you spend the most time on the phone with: Lissy.
5. The craziest (but in a good way): Sara
6. The most honest: Suzy, Mary
7. The purest: Suzy
8. The smartest: All!
9. The most athletic: Jenn
10. The most compassionate: Suzy, but all my friends are super compassionate.
11. The one most likely to get thrown in jail and why: Sara, and there's no telling why!
12. The last one that said "I love you": Stacy

Super Lame

2007-11-13T17:04:00.000-05:00

My back hurts, I'm supposed to be leaving soon to go to my sis's, I left my phone at home and feel completely naked and I want a nap. So you get the lamest post ever.

Scariest Survey EVER

2007-11-12T16:46:00.000-05:00

Would you rather...
1.) Be able to comsume fatty foods without gaining weight OR be able to have unprotected sex without getting sexual diseases? Are you kidding me? Bacon wrapped cake, beeyotch. Not really, that would be gross. But you get my meaning.
2.) Be able to communicate with animals, but only the nerds OR be able to read people's minds but only when they are thinking about aluminum siding topics and issues? Animals. I don’t get this nerdy animal thing. But talking to animals would be great unless I realized my pets think I’m an asshole.
3.) Have a knack for model train set-ups but have an irresistible urge to punch people named Mildred in the breast and thighs OR be able to make anything shiny but be unable to refrain from making the tug boat gesture and sound any time an overweight person enters a room? Number one, since I don’t know anyone named Mildred, and if I did, they might deserve it.
4.) During sex, be able to read the mind of the person you are having sex with OR be able to hit you or your partner's G-spot by finding Waldo in a Where's Waldo book? (each page used only once)Reading the mind would be more useful, because then I could tell if I was getting anywhere near the g spot as well as anything else. But there would need to be a filter so I didn’t hear “Damn, is her ass getting bigger?”
5.)Every hour on the hour, change which gender you are attracted to OR turn your sexual partner into Tony Danza when you climax, and then turn them back to themselves the next time you have sex with them?The first one does not bother me at all, the second makes me want to be ill.
6.)Have your mom have to put on your condom like she was dressing you as a child OR never be able to call your spouse by the same name twice?Mom+condom=never happening for any reason ever.
7.)Have to use condoms that come in a wrapper where you have to finish the crossword puzzle before it can be opened OR be unable to shake the image of Meadowlark Lemon during all sexual congress? The puzzle would be part of the fun!
8.) Never be able to experience orgasm OR perpetually experience orgasm? This is a dumb question. But obviously the second. I’d just need to learn to work around it, so to speak.
9.) Attract swarms of fireflies when aroused OR have the sound of microphone feedback intermittently emanating from your crotch? Feedback from my crotch would be hilarious.
10.) Your penis/breasts increase in size by 10 percent each year OR decrease in size by 2 percent each year? I wouldn’t be able to stand upright by the time I was 30, so option B.11.) Vicariously experience all orgasms that occur in your zip code OR during sex, have the Microsoft paper clip help icon appear with sex tips?MS Help blows. Option B.
12.) Have Bettie Davis eyes OR Charles Manson eyes? Why in god’s name would I want Charles Manson eyes? A. DUH.
13.) Be able to simulate the voice of anybody you meet OR simulate the hair?I could make serious bank by simulating voices. I’ll take it.
14.) Be able to achieve orgasm at will OR be able to make anyone other than yourself achieve orgasm at your will? Others, how cool would that be? "Ding! You can thank me later." This was the last person’s answer, but I couldn’t change it. Perfect.
15.) Have taste buds all over your body OR have a malleable stress-ball head? Stress ball head. I don’t want to know what certain things taste like, such as my feet.
16.)Have an ever-changing tattoo that takes the form of whatever image you will it be OR be able to psychically see anybody's internet browser history when looking at them? That’s retarded. Changing tattoo would be much better.
17.) Have Gatorade saliva OR be able to murmur fluently in twelve languages? Gatorade saliva would be disgusting. The language thing would be bad-ass.
18.) Be able to insist on paying for the check but never actually get stuck with it OR know exactly what the person on the other end of the phone looks like simply by hearing their voice? The first one. :)
19.) Slide naked down a fire man's pole covered with tacks into a pool of scotch OR cheese-grate the skin off your left forearm? The second, but I’m weeping for either.
20.) Chew a used condom as gum for an hour OR have all your pubic hairs become ingrown? GAH!!! B, but please kill me.
21.) Sleep a night on a bed of peanut butter OR next to a humidifier full of urine? Peanut butter. What sick bastard wrote this survey.
22.) Have invisible skin OR see in strobe light? See in strobe light. Then I could just gouge my eyes out.
23.) Have an intense urge to whisper sweet nothings into the ears of bus drivers as you pay your fare OR have parents who affectionately refer to you as "anal cakes"? The first would be funny, especially if I could carry mace if needed.
24.) Have permanent Cheetoh residue on your fingertips OR appear as Shemp of the three stooges in all photographs? Cheetoh residue, as long as it didn’t get on my clothes or others.
25.) Have commercial interruptions during masturbation fantasies OR have to masturbate with the mandatory use of a Sesame Street's Elmo hand puppet? It would be A, because I refuse to violate my childhood.

Would your rather your only porn be......
1.) 6 second clips of hot people OR 2 minute clips of moderately attractive people? 2 minutes. I can’t get anything done in 6 seconds.
2.) Verbose, subtle erotic fiction OR pornographic Magic Eye 3D pictures? The first one. (Am I really going to post this in my blog?!)
3.) Animal Nature documentaries OR suggestive cloud formations? Cloud formations are much more fun.
4.) Geometric shapes OR family reunion pictures? SHAPES. No family EVER.

Would you rather live in a world....
1.) Where women were given equal pay, opportunity, and access to jobs OR where men experience the pains of the birth process along with women? Damn, I want both. Except then the species would die out. Let’s say A.
2.) Where there was a rapper-like East Coast/West Coast feud of mimes OR where the pledge of allegiance was changed to the lyrics to "Eye of the Tiger"? Hee, bring on the warring mimes.
3.) Where Teletubbies were a common species of creature that lived in the wild OR where there were evil, bizzaro arch-enemy versions of ourselves? Teletubbies. I know too many people whose archenemies would scare me.
4.) Where the convention of singing "Happy Birthday" was replaced with "You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet" by Bachman Turner Overdrive OR where congressional debate was settled by dodgeball contests? Dodgeball! Whoo!
5.) Without skin moisturizer OR without cream cheese? Cream cheese. I’d miss cheesecake, but there would still be cake and pie.

(Guys) Would you rather have sex with....
1.) Hillary Clinton OR Natalie from Facts of Life? (This doesn’t apply to me, but Natalie. At least she was my age-ish.)
2.) Jessica Rabbit OR Daphne from Scooby Doo? (Duh, Jessica Rabbit.)
3.) Venus Williams OR Sheryl Crow if she spoke in the voice of an old Jewish man? (Sheryl Crow, I’d tape her mouth shut.)

Ladies...Would you rather have sex with...
1.) Bryant Gumble OR Weird Al Yankovic? Bryant Gumble. I’d feel like I was violating Al.
2.) Alex Trebec OR Larry David? Larry David, he’s funny and no smug moustache.
3.) Johnny Depp without a leg OR Tom Selleck without a moustache? Hey, if Johnny’s only missing a leg, I don’t see where there’s a problem. However, I would not throw the Selleck out of bed.

Immoral Dilemmas
1.) You are walking down the street and see an open briefcase with $1,000 in it. Across the street there is a police station. Do you spend it on whores or crack? Whores, I don’t have any need for crack. But really I’d buy an iPod and pay my bills.
2.) You're driving at night and hit a dog. No one witnesses you hitting the dog. Do you bake or broil it? CRY.
3.) You're waiting at a red light at 4 am. There isn't a car in sight. No one would see if you ran the light. Do you masturbate with your left or right hand? Wha?! Wait ‘til I got home, Mr. Icky Survey!

I’ve officially squicked myself out with this survey, but I’m posting it anyway.

Sunday Haiku

2007-11-11T16:43:00.000-05:00

I am here
at my sister's, and I can't
think of stuff to write.

Ethical Dilemma

2007-11-10T17:44:00.000-05:00

So, I was at the grocery store earlier today, and the man in front of me had a case of water underneath his cart that I'm pretty sure didn't get rung up. A large part of me wanted to mention it in case he just forgot it, which is totally something I would do. But the rest of me didn't want him to yell at me and think I thought he was a thief or whatever, or get indignant because he actually was stealing it. Anyway, it was probably only 3 or 4 bucks but it bothered me. How does one handle that situation?

The Way Back Machine

2007-11-09T15:35:00.000-05:00

So, the second prompt I had yesterday was about what my earliest memory is. Good question! I’ve got more than one, so I’ll go ahead and write a few.

I think I remember the day we moved into the house we grew up in, but my parents think I just know it from the telling. All I really remember is sitting around a bunch of boxes and eating White Castles, so it’s entirely possible they’re right on that, but that’s what I pinpoint as my first memory.

The first birthday I remember was when I was 3 or 4. I don’t remember a ton about it either, except that it was at Showbiz Pizza (before it became Chuck E Cheese) and my grandma and grandpa gave Liss and I tricycles.

The first trip I ever remember taking is to Tennessee to visit my great grandmother. I was probably 4 or 5 then. We took my grandparents’ RV, which was really cool. I remember walking to a general store-type place and spending forever picking out candy, as kids do. I also remember that Great Grandma was 98, mostly blind, and sat knitting in a rocking chair. She scared the crap out of me, the way old people do. My uncle Joe and… Uncle TF? Was that who it was? Anyway, two uncles taught Liss and me how to clap with one hand (which Uncle Joe could do really well because he’s double-jointed) and how to spin on our butts on the hardwood floor, which we thought was the most awesome thing ever. I also remember my cousin Jana used to dote over us a ton, and for some reason we called her Frog.

From kindergarten, I remember usually wanting to play with the cardboard bricks rather than the dolls and stuff. I liked building stuff, but I more liked being dramatic and making soap operas out of the space battles the boys were playing. I also remember a talent show where we sang “Let’s go fly a kite,” which I still know all the words to. And my art of smiling flowers got picked to be displayed in the Children’s Museum, (which was free at the time! I paid $20 to get in there two weeks ago!) and I thought it was too freakin’ cool.

So…yeah! Those are things I consider to be my first real memories!

In Concert

2007-11-08T15:39:00.001-05:00

I’m fishing for writing prompts and it’s only November 8, sweet Jesus.

However, the Queen, and her friend Caroline, have both given me great prompts! Huzzah!

What was my first BNL concert? (Barenaked Ladies is tied for my favorite rock band in the world with Guster.)

BNL was actually my first concert ever, and I was 18. My mom way over-sheltered me. I got to go to the concert because I had made a friend at college, Marc, who introduced me to BNL, and, in an effort to get to know each other better (and a foreign city, as Marc is a native Chicagoan), he asked me to go to the show. My mom was hesitant to let me go (yeah, I lived at home, it was cheaper) and it was actually my grandma convinced her that it would be okay. My mom was on the phone with my grandma, and mentioned the show and that I wanted to go see some band about naked people. My grandma responded “Oh, Barenaked Ladies! I saw something about them on VH-1! They’re nice boys, one of them has cancer.” It’s funny, because I’m certain my grandma has never heard a BNL song in her life, but I still owe her one for that. So my mom bought the tickets for Marc and I to see Barenaked Ladies at Conseco Fieldhouse. Marc was extra psyched because Guster was opening for them. I’d never heard of Guster at all, but I was still excited about the concert.

We got there super early, and we still had a great time. Someone across the Fieldhouse yelled, “Whoo, Guster!” before people were even really filing in, and Marc was like, “Whoo! Fellow Jew!” because the guys in Guster all happen to be Jewish (though I don’t think that’s a requirement). After Guster played maybe a 7 song set, I was hooked, went to the lobby, and immediately bought “Lost and Gone Forever,” my first and favorite Guster album.

BNL was promoting the “Maroon” album, so there was a chef flinging donuts ala “Pinch Me” and big weird inflatable things. Marc and I sang and yelled and shouted and essentially just had an awesome night. That’s why no matter how far apart Marc and I end up living, I’ll always owe him one for that first BNL/Guster show.

Up next! Earliest childhood memory! Suggestions? Note me!

Trippin'

2007-11-07T16:19:00.000-05:00

So I’m sick of being mopey, even though I still feel crabby as all hell. But instead of writing about that, I’m going to write about my trip to New York when I was a senior in high school!

The trip lasted from a Sunday to a Thursday, the Sunday and Thursday being travel time. It was hella cheap, too. For 3 plays, two nights in a hotel, bus fare, two dinners, a lunch, and a theater workshop, it only cost about $450, plus whatever money you wanted to spend in the city. Here are some of the highlights:

Coolest Random Billboard: In Times Square, there was a billboard with a giant spoon on it advertising Jell-O. I thought it was the shit. Obviously, I was (and am still) easily entertained.

Best Play Seen: Without question, Kiss Me, Kate, which we got to see with Brian Stokes Mitchell and Marin Mazzie, during the first part of the show's revival. It was absolutely hysterical. The other option that night was Cats, which I ended up seeing years later and hating because it has no plot and goes on for a month. We also saw The Phantom of the Opera, and Les Miserables. They were both good, but neither could hold a candle to the other.

Most Awesome Non-PC Moment: Tim, one of our trip-mates, yelling "Hey guys! A midget!" Which is when we all crowded to one side of the bus to see. The midget gave us the finger. It was awesome.

Most Art Seen: The Greek statues at the Met. We only had 90 minutes at the Met and I wanted to find the damned impressionists, but we kept running back and forth through the room with the statues trying to find it. It was both hilarious and irritating at the same time.

Best Prank Pulled: Some of the other trippers duct-taped our acting teacher's door shut, and because he has an awesome sense of humor, he didn't even get pissed about it.

Most Awesome "People Won't Believe This" Moment: A cop falling off his bike at Battery Park. HiLARious!

Best Event on a Boat: Trippers Joe and Tim pulling a Titanic moment on the deck of the boat to the Statue of Liberty, and a kid puking right behind them. Awesome.

Best Piece of Tchotchky Crap Bought: Statue of Liberty lighter, hands down.

BLAH

2007-11-06T15:14:00.000-05:00

So I don't have a headache now, but I'm totally premenstrual and negative and don't want to write about it. I better stop sucking, or my blog month is going to be boring as hell.

You know what sucks?

2007-11-05T22:44:00.001-05:00

Headaches

And now presenting... a haiku

2007-11-04T07:43:00.000-05:00

At boyfriend's.
No internet at the house.
So short post today!

Weekend Letters

2007-11-03T11:39:00.000-05:00

Dear Cheesecake Factory,

Thank you for opening up ten minutes from my house. This was a wonderfully kind gesture on your part, and I very much enjoyed half a slice of Snickers Cheesecake last night, and intend to thoroughly enjoy the second half after I mow my friend Jen's lawn. Also, thank you for being $6 a slice, thus ensuring that my ass will not immediately grow to eclipse the sun.

Drool,
Angie

Dear Swimmers/Parents of Swimmers at My University,

I can't imagine whatever school or planet you come from is fully loaded with retards, so why is it that you get stupid when you come here? I know, I know. We have a big pool, this is where you compete or watch your kids compete. And given the fact that you or your offspring know how to dive off shit and open your eyes underwater and tread water and do a myriad of things I'm not currently capable of, I have to assume you're capable of using a parking garage. Why, then, do you show up at mine, and drive like someone replaced your brains with speedos and noseclips? Also, don't walk down the middle of the driving lane. It will be very hard for you to swim after I slam into you with Libby the Toyota Corolla of Justice.

Swimcerely,
Angie

I'm beginning to think my unconscious mind take peyote while I'm sleeping. In the past week, I've dreamed that Jon pissed me off by going to a Thanksgiving pageant in Pennsylvania without me, that I was extorted by a small child who wanted less money than I was offering and treated me like I was stupid, and that my twin and I were househunting in California. (We're not, and not planning to as far as I know. Plus, Adam would probably be pretty pissed.) This is to say nothing of the dream I had about a month ago where David Bowie wanted me to hang out with his daughter so that she would look prettier, and therefore become more famous, in comparison to me. Who knew David Bowie was such a twat?

Surveys aren't cheating, right?

2007-11-02T12:48:00.000-05:00

Current Book: Devil’s Knot: The True Story of the West Memphis Three, by Mara Leveritt. I’ve only read about 30 pages so far, but it’s really good. After reading Helter Skelter (awesome, FYI), I seem to be on a bit of a true crime kick. Mostly I think I’m on more of a non-fiction kick. Like, I want to go to Borders and buy The Year of Living Biblically and the new Postsecret, and the Mother Teresa book.
Current Shame-Inducing Guilty Pleasure: Watching Cheaters on my DVR when I get ready in the morning. That show’s so awful, and so very watchable.
Current Favorite Colors: Hunter green, and the colors of the leaves outside.
Current Fetish: Making out with Jon. His back was really bad last week, and we started kissing and a lightbulb went off in my brain, like “Holy crap! This is really fun, too!” But that’s not really a fetish. Hmm. Voyeurism. (Now I creep you out. Sweet.)
Current Favorite Food: Pepperoni and pineapple pizza. Steak. Mashed potatoes. Chocolate. I’m indecisive.
Current Favorite Drink: Canada Dry Ginger Ale, and hard cider.
Current Link: www.icanhascheezburger.com. I can’t help it, it cracks me up.
Current Favorite Outfit: Eh. Don’t really care. My Old Navy sweaters are really comfy and pretty cute though.
Current Fragrance: Lavender body lotion and “Egyptian Goddess” essential oil.
Current Wish-List: Sacks full of cash, for Jon’s back to get better, and an unlimited expense account at Borders.
Current Favorite Film: Little Miss Sunshine is the first thing that comes to mind, then Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
Current Music: “So Small” – Carrie Underwood
Current Anticipation: Seeing Jon tomorrow. This once a week thing is for the birds.
Current Triumph: Getting all of the scholarship letters ready to go this morning.
Current Bane(s) of My Existence: Forgetting to Xerox the damn letters before I stuffed them in their envelopes, which means later I’ll need to rewrite each one for the student files. Dammit.
Current Celebrity Crush: George Clooney, Tori Amos, Angelina Jolie, and Viggo Mortensen.
Current Indulgence: I just had Steak n Shake with my sis and brother-in-law. Mmmm, Frisco.
Current #1 Blessings: Jon, the pets, friends.
Current Mood: Itchy, but in a good mood. (I think a spider attacked my leg in like 9 places last night. Bitch.)
Current Weather: Cool and clear. Love me some autumn.

Pushing Daisies

2007-11-01T12:58:00.000-05:00

I'm telling you, if you're not watching Pushing Daisies you're missing one of the best shows ever. Last week's case in point: Kristen Chenowith and Ellen Greene sang "Put a Little Birdhouse in Your Soul." Awesome.

Two weeks ago case in point: Emerson, Chi McBride's character, is discovered to be a knitter. Double Awesome.

Seriously, with all due respect to Comic Book Guy, and possible exception of The West Wing, Greatest. Show. Ever.

I'll write more if at some point I come up with something more substantial.